Counterfeit Hero

”Even if it takes longer, so be it!” Fatty declared decisively, ”We’ve got to save our skins first and foremost!”

”Flying in the obstacle zone for a few years?” Chekov drooped his eyelids.

”A few years?!” Fatty was startled.

Chekov downed a glass of liquor and said, ”What did you think? If it were just a matter of days or weeks, why would I be worried?”

”Damn it.” Fatty gulped down his drink, the alcohol burning his throat and turning his face as red as a monkey’s butt. He cursed, ”By the time we get out of here, the cows would already have come home. Can we communicate with HQ and get them to send a fleet to pick us up?”

”In a star domain like this, there’s no space communication relay.” Chekov drank like it was water and said while drinking, ”Even if there was, we need to maintain communication silence. If we make any interstellar communication, we’ll reveal our position. They’re still chasing us from behind.”

”So if they guard the jump point for a day, we stay here for a day. If they guard it for a year... we stay here for a year?” Fatty felt dumbfounded.

Chekov shook his head and said, ”Besides the two jump points on the main line, there’s another jump point ahead of us that they can’t blockade. We’re heading there to try our luck.”

”What’s going on?” Fatty asked curiously.

”...It’s an E-grade jump point. It’s not on the interstellar maps; only veteran navigators who frequently travel this route know about it.” Chekov, slightly drunk, called the cook with a slurred tongue, ”Heat up this dish... and bring some peanuts.”

He turned around and continued to Fatty, ”But... this jump point leads to the Saleria Federation, and it’s blocked by a meteorite belt. Its condition is very unstable and showed signs of collapse a few years ago. If they manage to blockade such a jump point, I’ll admit defeat.” He laughed proudly, his face flushed.

”Bullshit!” The half-drunk Fatty burped and angrily said, ”What’s the difference if it’s blockaded or not? If you’re unwilling to accept it, will you jump into it? What if we can’t get out? Besides, there’s a meteorite belt!”

Chekov stiffened his neck and said, ”What else can we do? Do we have enough energy and food to last for years?”

”No way, we can’t go to certain death!” Fatty slammed the table.

”I’ve spent my whole life on a space battleship. I know better than you what can be done and what can’t!” Chekov also slammed the table.

”Bang bang!” The two glared at each other while slamming the table. Then, Chekov threw a punch, and they quickly fell into a brawl.

”Hey, hey...” Helen, sitting at a nearby table, was startled by the two drunkards rolling around. She stood up helplessly and said to the other officers and soldiers with flushed faces, ”Quick, separate them.”

”Separate them for what...” A Major slurred, ”Our ship captain always does this. Otherwise, why would we ban alcohol on our ship? Once they’ve had enough, they’ll stop on their own.”

The soldiers draped over each other’s shoulders nodded in agreement.

”Sigh... you guys...” Helen stomped her foot in frustration, but she knew it was useless. These space soldiers, who spent long periods in the lonely expanse of space and whose activities were confined to the ship, were all like this. From time to time, they needed to vent.

”Bang bang bang!” The two fought like bears, creating a loud commotion. The cheers from the onlookers intensified.

With another punch to Chekov’s face, Fatty knocked him to the ground and kicked him twice viciously, slurred with drunken glee, ”Fighting me... do you even know who Master Fatty is!”

While feeling proud, Fatty didn’t expect Chekov, lying on the ground, to retaliate sneakily like a rabbit kicking an eagle...

”Oww!” With a piercing wail, everyone shuddered and turned away, unable to bear watching... Fatty immediately knelt down, clutching his groin.

Helen turned her face in both amusement and exasperation. These men fighting... especially with Fatty’s painful cries, it was bound to hurt if hit there... with no sense of restraint...

Fatty rolled on the ground, howling in misery.

After a long while, Fatty still hadn’t recovered. His cries grew louder and louder.

Helen sensed something was wrong and just as she turned to look, she found Fatty had rolled to her feet.

Before she could react, Fatty clung to her like a pillar, clawing his way up using her for support...

”He kicked my balls,” Fatty said, biting his lip in pain and looking at Helen with teary eyes.

”Serves you right!” Helen kicked Fatty again and stormed off angrily! Federation Hero, my foot, he’s just a scoundrel!

When Fatty woke up from his hangover the next day, he barely remembered anything. Noticing everyone’s strange glances toward his lower body, he felt a chill and secretly peeked inside his pants, thinking, ”Damn it, I’m wearing underwear!”

As for Helen’s gritted teeth expression, Fatty was puzzled but ignored it. Women, they always have those few days every month.

After experiencing life-or-death situations and spending a few days together, everyone on the Blue Rose, from the captain to the cook, had fully grown accustomed to this unusual Federation Hero. Nobody respected Fatty as a hero anymore; instead, they drank, gambled, and mingled with him without hesitation.

The Blue Rose had entered the nebula obstacle zone. The enemy’s presence on the radar had completely vanished. In this electromagnetic chaotic and harsh environment, without getting within 50,000 kilometers, nobody could spot each other on radar.

The battleship had slowed to its minimum speed. The radar, shipboard telescopes, and scanners worked nonstop in this area filled with asteroids, meteorite belts, and space particle streams. A single mishap could spell destruction for the ship and its crew.

Fatty’s primary role had shifted back to a Mechanic Soldier. Every day, he piloted a repair mecha into space, attaching himself to the hull mid-flight to mend the ship’s damaged sections bit by bit.

Whenever he had free time, he worked on figuring out ways to make the battleship more lethal. In this regard, he attracted many experts in warship and mechanical fields from the Damage Control Team, Repair Department, Ship Stationed Engineers, and exchange personnel from Chuckna. Helen often saw them argue passionately over some far-fetched idea, sometimes escalating into physical fights.

During these moments, Fatty, the instigator, would instinctively cover his groin and watch from the sidelines with great interest. In his words, ”A bunch of scholarly types fighting is a whole different flavor, pulling hair and biting ears, very nasty yet effective.”

”He’s such a scoundrel!” Helen became increasingly convinced of her judgment. Especially when she thought about how Fatty had twice embraced her, touching her butt, waist, legs, and even... it made her grit her teeth in anger!

After a week of arduous navigation, when the bow of the warship, painstakingly tapped into shape by Fatty, finally took form, they reached the jump point.

Just as they sailed to the edge of the meteorite belt that concealed the jump point, the radar alarm suddenly blared!

”Reporting to the captain!” the radar officer shouted, ”We’ve detected a cargo ship!”

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...(To be continued, for more chapters, please visit www.qidian.com, support the author, and read original works!)