The Queen's Mage

Chapter 148: Not Fainting

Verya’s gaze shifted. “Royal Mage.”

Serali looked up.

The movement took more effort than it should have.

Verya’s expression did not soften. That was generous of her. “You are very pale.”

“I am often pale.”

“You look as if you may faint.”

“I do not faint.”

Daravan said, “You nearly did when Lia removed the last iron binding.”

Serali turned her head toward him.

Slowly. “Captain.”

“Royal Mage.”

“That was a medical event.”

“So is fainting.”

“I am not fainting.”

“Not yet,” Verya said.

Serali stared at her.

Verya looked back, untroubled.

Allandra’s hand tightened once on the docket.

Serali saw it.

So did Daravan.

So did Verya.

Gods, this room was full of people who noticed things.

Verya rose. “I will escort the Royal Mage back to her rooms.”

Allandra’s eyes sharpened.

Only slightly.

Enough that the bond warmed like a struck coal.

Serali felt the instinct behind it.

No.

Not no to Verya. No to distance. No to letting Serali leave this room with anyone else while Vulmar’s letter still lay open on the table. No to sending her away after hearing a king claim her like property.

Allandra said nothing.

Good.

Good and awful.

Serali found her voice. “That is unnecessary.”

Verya slid the oath copy into its folder. “Most useful things are unnecessary until they are not.”

“That sounds like something Marielle would say about pulleys.”

“Marielle is not wrong about pulleys.”

“I can walk to my rooms.”

“I did not suggest carrying you.”

Daravan’s mouth twitched.

Serali glared at him, grateful for the irritation because it made the room stop spinning for half a breath.

Verya continued, “You have just made a statement for record denying a foreign king’s claim over your person. You are allowed to look unwell afterward.”

Serali’s throat tightened.

Allowed.

That was not a legal word here. Not exactly.

It felt like one anyway.

Allandra moved around the end of the table.

Daravan shifted.

Not stopping her. Not quite.

A warning, perhaps. Or reminder.

Allandra stopped before she reached Serali.

Too far to touch.

Close enough that Serali could see the small place where her composure was cracking near the eyes.

“Serali,” Allandra said.

Not Royal Mage.

Not this time.

Verya looked down at the folder in her hands with sudden and deliberate interest.

Daravan looked at the door as if it had become tactically fascinating.

Serali looked at Allandra and almost came apart.

Not because Allandra looked frightened.

Because she looked like she was trying not to.

“I am all right,” Serali said.

The lie was poor.

Allandra’s mouth tightened.

Serali amended, because some honesty could be managed in pieces, “I will be.”

Allandra inhaled.

The bond pressed once against Serali’s closed latch.

Not demanding.

Asking.

Serali could not open it. Not here. If she did, she would feel Allandra’s fear too clearly, and then she might do something unforgivable, like lean toward her in front of Verya and Daravan and the sealed diplomatic ruin of her morning.

Instead, she touched her left cuff.

Briefly.

Choice.

Still here.

Allandra’s hand moved to her signet ring.

Answer.

Daravan’s jaw tightened in what was either despair or approval. Possibly both.

Verya said, “Majesty, I will take her by the east corridor. Fewer eyes.”

Allandra did not look away from Serali. “Thank you.”

Serali looked away.

Allandra’s voice came low. “No one will summon you until you are ready.”

Serali looked back sharply.

No one will summon you.

Not I will come.

Not stay.

Not let me.

The choice again.

Even now.

Especially now.

Serali nodded once. “Good.”

A flicker crossed Allandra’s face.

Pain, maybe. Pride. Both.

Verya tucked the folder under one arm. “Captain Daravan, please secure the chamber until I return.”

Daravan nodded. “Of course.”

Allandra’s gaze finally moved from Serali to Verya. “The original letter remains sealed?”

“With me until transferred to restricted record.”

“Good.”

“The oath copy as well.”

“Good.”

“I will have a second copy made for immediate legal review.”

“By your own hand.”

Verya inclined her head. “Obviously.”

For some reason, that almost made Serali laugh.

It came out as a breath instead.

Verya noticed.

“Come,” she said.

Serali stood.

The room tilted harder.

Daravan moved first, a half-step forward.

Allandra did not move.

That restraint must have cost her something.

Serali hated that she knew.

She steadied herself with one hand on the table. “I said I was not fainting.”

“Yes,” Daravan said. “Very convincingly.”

“I dislike you.”

Verya came to her side but did not touch her. “Walk slowly.”

“I know how to walk.”

“Excellent. Demonstrate.”

Serali looked at her.

Verya held the look, cool as winter.

Fine.

Serali walked.

One step.

Then another.

Her legs worked. How generous of them.

At the door, she stopped despite herself.

She turned back.

Allandra stood beside the council table, still as a blade.

She looked like a queen.

She looked like the woman who had woken in Serali’s bed that morning.

She looked terrified.

Only Serali could see that last part.

Perhaps Daravan too.

“Majesty,” Serali said.

Allandra’s expression changed at the title.

A little wound.

Necessary, maybe.

For the room. For Verya. For herself.

Allandra inclined her head. “Royal Mage.”

There.

They could both still perform.

The thought made Serali want to laugh or vomit.

Verya opened the door.

The outer chamber waited beyond, with the scribe standing too quickly and two pages pretending not to have been straining to hear. Verya gave them one look, and they became furniture.

Serali stepped into the corridor.

The air outside the chamber felt colder.

Louder.

Alive with palace movement and things that had not stopped simply because Vulmar Xuiven had decided to remember her.

Verya walked beside her, not touching, not hovering. Escort, not guard.

For several paces, neither spoke.

Then Verya said, “You do not have to decide what you are feeling before reaching your rooms.”

Serali looked at her. “Is that legal advice?”

“No.”

“Healing advice?”

“Also no.”

“What, then?”

Verya’s mouth tightened faintly. “Collegial.”

The word hit harder than Serali expected.

Collegial.

She looked forward quickly.

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Verya pretended not to notice.

They turned into the east corridor.

True to Verya’s word, it was nearly empty. Only a maid carrying folded linens saw them and dropped into a curtsy so quickly she nearly lost the stack.

Verya did not slow.

Serali kept walking.

The farther they got from the council chamber, the more the words caught up with her.

Our daughter.

Foreign office.

Immediate return.

Unmolested in dignity.

She almost stumbled on that one.

Verya’s hand lifted, then stopped just short of Serali’s elbow.

She had almost touched.

She had chosen not to.

Serali noticed.

“Thank you,” she said, though it came out rougher than intended.

Verya lowered her hand. “For not touching you?”

“Yes.”

Verya nodded once. “You were very clear in the oath negotiations.”

Something inside Serali cracked in a small, survivable way.

A laugh escaped her.

Thin.

Ugly.

Real.

“I was terrified in the oath negotiations.”

“Yes,” Verya said. “That often improves drafting.”

Serali looked at her.

Verya looked forward.

After a moment, Serali laughed again.

This one hurt less.

A door to their left flew open.

Serali’s hand snapped toward her sleeve.

Verya pivoted with the folder clutched to her chest like a legal shield.

Marielle emerged carrying an armful of papers, a rolled diagram, two loose pencils, and an expression of deep and fraudulent surprise.

“Oh,” she said. “There you are.”

Verya stared at her.

Serali stared too.

Marielle looked between them, then down at the papers in her arms, as if noticing them for the first time. “I was retrieving… documents.”

Verya’s voice was very flat. “From a broom closet.”

Marielle glanced behind her.

The open door did, in fact, reveal a narrow closet containing brooms, dustcloths, and one startled footman holding a mop.

Marielle shut the door quickly.

“Adjacent to documents,” she said.

Serali blinked.

Verya closed her eyes for half a breath. “Lady Marielle.”

“I was walking in this direction.”

“You left the council chamber in the opposite direction.”

“I corrected.”

“You hid in a broom closet.”

“I paused in a broom closet.”

“Why?”

Marielle shifted the papers in her arms. Three slid sideways. She pinned them to her chest with her chin. “Because I thought appearing from an intersecting corridor would seem less like following.”

Serali stared at her.

Verya opened her eyes. “You thought appearing suddenly from a broom closet would seem less suspicious?”

“I did not intend for the closet to be visibly a broom closet.”

“That is not how closets work.”

“It was poorly labeled.”

Serali laughed.

The sound came out before she could stop it. Small, startled, half-hysterical at the edges, but unmistakably laughter.

Marielle’s shoulders dropped with visible relief.

Verya looked at Serali, then at Marielle, and apparently chose not to prosecute.

“For clarity,” Verya said, “are you following us?”

“No.”

“Lady Marielle.”

“Yes.”

Serali pressed her fingers to her mouth.

Marielle straightened, papers still clutched disastrously. “I am following in a respectful, non-invasive, structurally supportive capacity.”

Verya said nothing.

Marielle winced. “That sounded better in my head.”

“I doubt that.”

“I am not good at this.”

“At following?”

“At comfort.”

The word landed awkwardly, too earnest for the corridor.

Serali looked at her.

Marielle looked mortified by herself but did not retreat.

“I am better with collapsing structures,” she said. “You find the load, brace the weak point, remove unnecessary weight, and stop people from making loud suggestions near the damaged wall.”

Verya said, “That last part is not engineering.”

“It is when I do it.”

Serali’s mouth twitched.

Marielle saw it and brightened.

Too much.

Dangerously.

“So,” Marielle said, falling into step on Serali’s other side, “if anyone in this corridor says anything unfortunate, I can be the loud suggestion.”

“Please do not,” Verya said.

“I said can.”

“You meant will.”

“I meant can strongly.”

Serali’s laugh came again.

This one hurt less.

They continued down the corridor: Verya on one side, precise and cool; Marielle on the other, vibrating with the desire to be useful and not quite succeeding; Serali between them, walking because both women had somehow made collapsing feel like it would be socially inconvenient.

After three paces, Marielle said, “You are doing well.”

Serali closed her eyes briefly. “Walking?”

“Yes.”

“Marielle.”

“I panicked.”

“I noticed.”

Verya said, “Perhaps fewer observations.”

“Right. Yes. Fewer.”

Silence lasted four steps.

Then Marielle added, “But you are.”

Verya made a sound that might have been a sigh.

Serali shook her head, but the corner of her mouth moved despite herself.

A second maid appeared at the far end of the corridor, saw Verya, Serali, and Marielle advancing in a formation that suggested either legal escort or imminent renovation, and promptly turned through another doorway.

Marielle watched her go. “See? Effective.”

“You frightened a maid,” Verya said.

“No, the situation frightened a maid. I merely occupied space within it.”

“Do not start arguing causation with me.”

“I would never.”

“You would.”

“I might.”

Serali looked between them.

“You two are like this on purpose?”

“No,” Verya said.

“Yes,” Marielle said.

They looked at each other.

Serali laughed again.

Too thin, still. Too close to breaking. But real.

For a few steps, that was enough.

Then the words returned.

Our daughter.

Her father’s voice, carried by someone else’s mouth.

The council table.

Allandra’s hand almost moving to the signet ring.

The letter beside her oath.

Serali’s knees gave out so abruptly that she had to slow.

Both women adjusted instantly.

Neither touched her.

Verya’s hand lifted and stopped.

Marielle’s papers rustled as she made the same abortive motion, then remembered herself and clutched them harder instead.

Serali noticed.

The noticing almost undid her.

“Thank you,” she said.

Verya gave a small nod.

Marielle opened her mouth.

Verya said, “Do not say ‘for not touching you also.’”

Marielle shut her mouth.

Serali looked at her.

Marielle looked pained. “I was not going to.”

“You were.”

“I was,” Marielle admitted.

Despite herself, Serali laughed again.

This one did not feel ugly.

They reached the residence wing.

Mara was already outside Serali’s door.

Of course she was.

She stood with a shawl over one arm and the expression of a woman who had received no information, guessed enough to be dangerous, and prepared tea accordingly.

Her eyes went first to Serali’s face.

Not the council folder under Verya’s arm.

Not Marielle’s papers.

Not the hallway.

Serali’s face.

Mara did not ask what happened.

Good.

If she had, Serali might have shattered out of sheer inability to choose an answer.

Verya said, “Mara, the Royal Mage needs quiet. No visitors unless she approves them. Lia should be informed that she is in her rooms.”

Mara nodded. “Yes, my lady.”

“No one else.”

Mara’s gaze flicked once to Serali.

Serali understood the question.

Allandra?

The bond ached faintly, as if hearing her name without sound.

Serali swallowed.

“Not yet,” she said.

Mara’s expression softened by almost nothing.

“Yes, Serali.”

Marielle shifted her papers. “I can send over the wall diagrams later.”

Verya looked at her.

Marielle amended, “Tomorrow.”

Verya continued looking.

“Or not,” Marielle said.

Serali looked at her. “Tomorrow.”

Marielle brightened. “Tomorrow.”

“Not before breakfast.”

“After breakfast.”

“Not immediately after breakfast.”

“Midmorning?”

“Marielle.”

“Noon,” Marielle said quickly. “Noon diagrams.”

Serali almost smiled. “Noon.”

Verya looked faintly exhausted.

“I will return if needed,” she said.

Serali leaned one shoulder against the doorframe because her legs had become theoretical again.

“That sounded voluntary.”

“It was.”

“Disturbing.”

Verya inclined her head. “I will try to be more predictable next time.”

“Thank you.”

Marielle hesitated.

Then, with all the grace of a woman stepping onto ice, she said, “He does not get to name you for us.”

Serali went still.

Verya did too.

Marielle’s face flushed, but she did not retreat. “That was too blunt.”

“No,” Serali said.

Her voice was barely there.

Marielle swallowed. “Good. Because I meant it.”

Serali looked at her.

The hallway blurred.

Damn it.

Verya said quietly, “The record holds.”

Serali’s gaze shifted to her.

The oath.

Her refusal.

The words written down.

Witnessed.

“The record holds,” Verya repeated.

Marielle nodded once, fiercely. “And so does the wall.”

Verya’s brows drew together. “What wall?”

“The metaphorical one.”

“Please do not mix legal and engineering metaphors in a crisis.”

“I am being supportive.”

“You are being structurally imprecise.”

Serali laughed.

The tears did not fall.

Barely.

Mara opened the door.

Warm air spilled from Serali’s rooms: hearth smoke, tea, the faint bitter-orange oil Mara used on the desk, the impossible familiarity of a place Serali had begun to trust against her better judgment.

For one second, Serali could not step inside.

Her father had reached across the border.

But the room remained.

Mara waited.

No pressure. No hand at her back.

Verya waited.

Marielle waited too, vibrating with the desire to do something useful and, by some miracle, not doing it.

Serali crossed the threshold herself.

At the door, she turned back.

Verya gave her a precise nod.

Marielle lifted one hand, hesitated, and then performed a small, deeply awkward wave.

Serali looked at her.

Marielle lowered the hand. “Too much?”

“A little.”

“I will improve.”

“I doubt that.”

“Fair.”

Mara closed the door gently.

And only then, with no council, no scribe, no black seal, no queen holding herself still across a table, did Serali realize she was shaking.

Chapter 149: So Says the Queen

The door closed behind Serali, Verya, and Marielle, who had appeared from whatever corridor she had no doubt weaponized.

For a moment, Allandra did not move.

The council chamber felt wrong with only Daravan in it. Too large. Too polished. The cups, scattered papers, and faint smear of ink near Harrek’s place remained exactly where they had been.

A room should have changed after a letter like that. The walls should have cracked. The table should have remembered that a king had reached across the border and tried to put a collar around a woman with ink.

Instead, it waited to be cleared.

Allandra stood at the head of the table, hands steady on the docket because every other part of her had been locked behind a door and barricaded.

Daravan listened until Serali’s footsteps faded.

Each one carried her farther away.

Allandra wanted to follow. To catch her before the words settled fully into her bones, take her face between both hands, and say, No. He does not get to do this. You are safe. You are mine—

No.

Not mine.

Chosen. Here. Herself.

The correction cut cleanly through her.

The bond pulsed beneath her ribs. Serali’s side had gone tight and distant, the latch nearly closed.

Her right. Her privacy. Her door.

Allandra wanted to knock.

She also wanted to break something.

“Majesty,” Daravan said.

“I know.”

“You do not know what I was going to say.”

“I know several possibilities. All irritating.”

“That is likely true.”

She almost laughed.

The candles nearest her flared instead.

Daravan looked at them. Then at her.

“Allandra.”

Her name, not her title.

The flames steadied, though they remained too tall.

“Do not.”

“I have not started.”

“You used my name.”

“I judged it necessary.”

He stood where he always did in a crisis: close enough to intervene, far enough not to crowd. He had looked like that after the western siege. After Finnian. After the Mantle chose her and half the room began calculating how much of her could still be contained by tradition.

“I am fine,” she said.

Daravan said nothing.

The silence was merciless.

“That was unconvincing,” Allandra admitted.

“Yes.”

She pushed away from the table and paced toward the window, then stopped. Too much glass. Too exposed.

“Say it.”

“You need a room before you go to her.”

“I am in a room.”

“A different one.”

Her mouth tightened. “You think I should not go.”

“I think you should not go like this.”

The candles flared again.

“Like what?”

“Terrified.”

Her breath caught.

Not angry. Not protective. Not politically alert.

Terrified.

The barricaded door inside her shifted.

Daravan did not soften his voice. “You want to comfort her. You also want to promise consequences no army could carry and no treaty could survive.”

“I want to promise the truth.”

“Then decide which truth you mean.”

Vulmar’s letter returned with vicious precision.

Our daughter.

He had not called Serali that when soldiers took her from her mother. Not while Rania starved and beat her. Not while she hid in kitchens, learned magic in secret, or fled because Vulmar had decided her body might improve his bloodline.

Now, when she had an oath. A room. A chair at council. Everly’s cards. A place at breakfast.

Now he had discovered the word.

Allandra gripped the back of a chair.

The wood creaked.

“That word,” she said.

Daravan was silent.

“He never deserved it.”

“No.”

“He does not get to use it.”

“No.”

“He did.”

“Yes.”

The single word struck harder than agreement.

“It is in the record,” Daravan said. “It will have consequences. Pretending otherwise helps him.”

“I am not pretending.”

“No. You are deciding whether rage is a plan.”

Allandra laughed once, without humor. “Is it?”

“Occasionally. At sword range.”

“This is not sword range.”

“No.”

“Pity.”

“Agreed.”

The admission helped.

Allandra crossed to Serali’s chair and rested one hand on its carved back. It was only polished wood. No warmth remained.

Still, she saw Serali sitting too straight after the letter, both hands on the table.

I was not kidnapped. I escaped.

“She told them to read it,” Allandra said.

“Yes.”

“She chose the record.”

“Yes.”

“And I hated it.”

Daravan waited.

“Not because she chose. Because she had to.”

“Yes.”

Allandra ran her thumb over the chair back.

“She only just began to trust this place. She knows her room in the dark. She keeps Everly’s cards in that ridiculous box and pretends it is administrative. Marielle hands her diagrams without asking whether she will understand them. Verya calls her colleague and means it. Everly thinks she belongs at breakfast.”

Her throat tightened.

“I woke beside her this morning.”

The words entered the room quietly.

Daravan did not flinch.

“I know,” he said.

“You do not.”

“No. Not that way.”

Somehow, it was the right answer.

“The bond was settled,” Allandra said. “She was warm. I thought we had reached something solid enough to stand on. Not safe. But chosen. Ours. Something with a door that opened outward.”

She looked toward the empty place where Vulmar’s letter had lain.

“And then that came.”

“The letter did not undo the morning.”

Allandra looked at him sharply.

“It reached it,” Daravan said. “Threatened it. It did not undo it.”

The distinction struck like a blade placed correctly in her hand.

No.

It had tried to erase the morning.

That was different.

Allandra straightened.

“He wants to change the language,” she said. “Royal Mage becomes daughter. Office becomes captivity. Oath becomes coercion. Protection becomes abduction.”

“Yes.”

“He wants us answering his frame.”

“Yes.”

“Then we do not.”

The room cooled.

Strategy gave rage somewhere to go.

Allandra returned to the head of the table. “Verya secures the original and the oath copy. One duplicate in her hand. No clerk beyond what receipt requires.”

“Yes.”

“Hagen drafts implications, not a response.”

“He will dislike the distinction.”

“He will survive.”

“Probably.”

“Harrek prepares for rumor without receiving bloodline details. Yvander assesses port vulnerabilities if Lyehira pressures trade.”

Daravan nodded.

“Marielle is not to touch the wax.”

His expression darkened. “That had not occurred to me.”

“It will occur to her.”

“Unfortunately.”

“Merrow is watched. Anyone he questions reports to Verya.”

“Already arranged.”

Of course it was.

“And Serali?” Daravan asked.

Allandra’s first answer remained immediate.

I go to her.

The better one took longer.

“No one summons her. No council follow-up until she asks for it or Verya determines it cannot wait. No statement naming her without her review.”

“Yes.”

Allandra looked toward the door.

“I want to see her.”

“I know.”

“I need to.”

“Yes.”

“I am not sure I should.”

“Because you are still terrified.”

“Yes.”

“And because you want to promise she will be safe.”

Allandra met his eyes. “I do.”

“You can promise what you will do. Not what cannot happen.”

She hated that.

She needed it.

“She should not have to know the difference.”

“No.”

Again, no false comfort.

“What if she does not want me there?”

Daravan considered his survival.

“Say it,” Allandra ordered.

“I suspect she wants you there very badly. I also suspect she may not be ready for what wanting you there means.”

The bond warmed beneath Allandra’s ribs in painful agreement.

“So ask,” he said.

“That has become your answer to everything.”

“It was Lia’s. I stole it for efficiency.”

Ask.

Not rescue. Not arrive full of vows, heat, and protective fury.

Ask.

Allandra could do that.

But not yet.

“If I go now, I bring too much fire with me.”

“Then take a moment.”

“I do not have one.”

“Take it anyway.”

A real breath of laughter escaped her.

Small, but real.

Allandra sat beside the hearth. “Sit. You make the room look like a war tent.”

“It is becoming one.”

“Daravan.”

He sat with the awkward resentment of a soldier forced into civilization.

For several breaths, neither spoke.

Allandra folded her hands and breathed.

In.

Out.

Glass doors. Not shutters.

Openable.

Not war.

Not yet.

She let the terror have its name.

Vulmar could endanger Cillian. Turn Serali’s bloodline into rumor. Make every noble who feared her appointment ask whether the Crown had concealed not merely a foreign mage but an enemy king’s bastard princess.

He could make Allandra’s protection look personal.

It was personal.

That did not make it wrong.

It made it dangerous.

The tears came hot and furious.

Daravan said nothing. He did not offer comfort or pretend not to see. He sat at the edge of the room like a loyal, irritating wall and let the queen cry long enough to remember she had a body.

It was not long.

When she wiped her face, he poured water from the council carafe and set it beside her.

She drank.

Cool. Plain. Astonishing.

Her hands no longer shook.

“I will not let him have her,” she said.

Daravan looked at her.

“I know what I cannot promise. I cannot promise perfect safety or no consequence. I cannot promise Vulmar will never reach what she loves.”

Allandra set down the glass.

“But I can promise this: I will not return her to him. Not by law. Not by treaty. Not by fear. Not because old men call blood sacred when consent inconveniences them.”

Daravan held her gaze, then nodded once.

“The oath says as much.”

“Yes.”

“So does the queen.”

Her throat tightened.

“Good.”

Daravan rose. “Then I will begin.”

“Not yet. Give Serali time to reach her rooms. Give Mara time to make tea and silence. Then ask whether she will see me.”

“Ask,” he repeated.

“Yes.”

“And if she says no?”

“I will not go.”

The words hurt.

They were necessary.

Daravan inclined his head. “I know.”

He reached the door, then paused.

“Allandra.”

She looked up.

“The letter did not undo the morning.”

“No,” she said. “It threatened it.”

“Yes. So defend the morning too.”

He opened the door.

Ordinary palace sounds entered: footsteps, low voices, work continuing around extraordinary harm.

“Ten minutes?” Daravan asked.

Allandra nodded.

He left.

For the first time since the letter arrived, she was alone.

No council. No Serali holding herself upright by the table. No Daravan turning fear into duty.

Allandra thought of honey on Everly’s fingers. Serali stealing blankets. Vulmar’s black seal. The oath clause in Verya’s precise voice.

I escaped.

The room blurred once.

Then she stood.

She did not feel calm.

Good. Calm would have been a lie.

She felt afraid. Furious. Focused. In love. Still queen.

No one part holding the reins alone.

When Daravan returned ten minutes later, she was back at the table with a blank page before her.

She had written one line.

We answer the claim without accepting the premise.

Daravan read it upside down.

“Verya will approve.”

“She had better.”

“I will find her.”

Allandra closed her eyes for one second. “Thank you.”

He nodded and left again.

Allandra remained at the table, hand beside the blank page, waiting to learn whether the woman she loved would allow her through the door.