My Alleged Husband

Chapter 985: Chapter 878: Everyone’s Life is the Same

Zhang Ni couldn’t understand why his father would say such things to him.

Why was his father unwilling to understand him a little more? If his father just took a bit more effort to understand him, it wouldn’t be so embarrassing now.

He didn’t want much at all. Time and again, all he sought was understanding from his family. But his parents never stood in his shoes to consider what he truly wanted. They always believed what they provided was the best, but forgot he was a living person, with thoughts of his own, with things he wanted to do, responsibilities to fulfill, rather than constantly hiding behind them.

”Dad, I hope you can think more clearly about this. All I want is my own life. I don’t want my life to be like yours — living all your life for others, proving yourself to everyone. But I’m different. I want to walk my own path, so that everyone feels excited and proud of my presence.

I will make those who once hurt me, who looked down on me, pay a heavy price. Those prices cannot be resolved with a few words. The harm they inflicted on me won’t change as I slowly grow. It’s deeply rooted. I can’t forgive unconditionally like you do. I can’t forgive someone without limits like you. A wrong deed is a wrong deed, no matter when or where. If it’s done wrong, they must bear the responsibility; someone else can’t foot the bill for them.

The mistakes Grandpa and Grandma made in their lives, maybe you think they’re nothing, but to me, they are unforgivable for a lifetime. They hurt you, hurt our family, hurt my mother’s relationship with him. Though indirectly related, I don’t want you standing on their side and going against my wishes. You’re my father, and how much sorrow and pain I have, do I really deserve to suffer these hurts again and again?

I really hope you don’t intervene in my life; I only hope to lead my own life. I once autonomously led my life. Now I hope you can stand in my shoes and think about it. All my life, I fought hard to prove to my grandparents that I have a tough life. Again and again, I worked tirelessly to prove it, and in the end, all the result I got was the harm they caused to everyone in the family. I am unsure of what attitude to hold towards them. Time and again, I wanted them to live happily, but they brought this outcome to my mother. I don’t understand what I should do for the best result.

I truly wish she could live happily. Seeing my mother live like this now made him sober. He also wouldn’t want to live like this. For him, it’s an insult. Who wouldn’t want to live a normal life? Why does he have to end up like this for some unworthy matter? He lived to this point time and again, never thinking what he should have done wrong in this life, nor expecting to turn out like this someday. Everything he did was in hopes of making everyone in the family happy, joyful, and live a blissful life, but in the end, everything turned into bubbles.

When he thought he could change the whole family, you delivered a fatal blow to him, turning him into this. I truly regret you allowing him back into this home. I regret pleading for you at that time. I shouldn’t have helped you. If not for me, maybe they wouldn’t have returned, and my mother wouldn’t be like she is now. The greatest regret in life is my mother turning out like this, while I’m powerless.

You’re my father; wouldn’t you understand what kind of feelings I’m experiencing? This feeling torments me, circling my thoughts all the time. I don’t understand what I should do to completely erase these thoughts. I’m terrified, terrified that one day I’ll wake up and never see his mother again. I’m afraid that one day when he leaves because of this illness, how will I cope? He’s my mother, and even if the whole world abandons me, he never will. He’s my mother, who gave birth and raised me. Deep down, he can abandon the whole world, but he cannot abandon me, his son. I’m the continuation of his life. He concentrated all his love on me because I understand his loneliness. I comprehend why, due to me, he lives within this heartache. But you claim you love him dearly, care less about him, and pay much attention to him. In the end, when he got sick, didn’t even know what he wanted inside, and you claim to be family to him?

I hate my grandparents, not for any other reason, but because they chose to bring harm to my family time and again. They never considered whether I could bear it. They never thought how their actions would bring me such pain and hurt. Deep down, there is a path, always only for themselves, too selfish. Now they still stay in the house, and I don’t want to go home and face them. You can go out and do your things, but I must stay here. I want to take care of my mother, ensure her safety. I want to see my mother wake up personally because, for me, it’s the greatest joy in the world. You never understand what my mother wants, let alone understand the depth of the relationship between me and my mother, which was built on trust from the start, one that doesn’t exist between you and me.

Dad, deep down, you know clearly what Grandpa and Grandma have done all these years, and why he chose to come back to this home. You can choose not to say anything or ask anything, but it doesn’t mean I know nothing. No matter how hard you try to erase all evidence, I’m still a person. I have my own connections and capabilities, and I can find all the evidence. Even if you make these people disappear from this world, I can still present every mistake they made starkly in front of you!”