My Alleged Husband

Chapter 984: Chapter 877: Your Life?

”Dad, is it because your life is incomplete and imperfect that you want my life to be the same—to become a life that is incomplete and imperfect? I wish to live happily and joyfully, and I hope everyone can find their correct path. Again and again, I invest so much, not for anything else, but to see you happy.

I am your son, and I’ve seen you shed tears silently, that feeling of helplessness and loneliness—I can’t bear it. You are my father; regardless of time and place, how could I possibly care only for my mother and not for you? Without you, my mother wouldn’t have given me life, and for that, I am grateful. But sometimes controlling a child’s life can make a family slowly turn against each other.

How many wealthy families have turned father against son because the father wanted to interfere in his son’s affairs repeatedly? I don’t want us to end up like those ordinary wealthy families; I want our lives to be different from everyone else’s. We should carve out our own path that makes people proud, rather than follow in their footsteps onto a path wrongfully taken!

If you truly trust me as your son, then please give me a chance to try walking my own path. I want to create my own life, and I hope for my life to be happy and joyful. Dad, your life is incomplete, and I understand youth is a bright sadness—a youth without sorrow is incomplete. But right now, I don’t want to bear all of this; I just want to live happily. I only wish everyone would give me a bit of trust, even just a little at the end. I don’t want all trust to vanish in an instant.”

Zhang Yichen never expected his son to be so stubborn, impervious and obstinate. He doesn’t know how to persuade his son anymore; his mouth is dry from talking, yet his son is still trapped in a dead end, unable to turn around. This leaves him very embarrassed and in a difficult position. If he truly interferes with his son’s life, will his son eventually turn against him? If so, what can he do? Time and again, he’s only acted for his son’s benefit. If his interference indeed makes his son’s life incomplete, he’d rather not intervene at all.

”Nai’er, how many times do you want me to tell you? I’ve told you repeatedly, I’m not interfering with your life, nor am I trying to dominate it. I just want to keep you from taking detours and suffering. The pain I’ve endured, I don’t want you to go through it—it’s too exhausting. The one thing you won’t endure in this life is being abandoned by your mother and me. We’ll never let people say you’re a child your parents didn’t want; that’s the greatest happiness in this world for you.

I sincerely hope you don’t come to me and talk about your life because every person’s life isn’t achieved through mere words now—it relies on one’s actions. I know you’ll tell me because I don’t trust you completely, haven’t let go, and that’s why you have no way to prove your life is right or wrong. But do you know? If the day comes when I truly let go, you will indeed lose me. Are you willing to have your biological father completely leave you for life, forever unable to receive any love or care from him?”

”Can we stop discussing this now? Didn’t you say you would bring grandpa and grandma back to take care of mom? Then I hope you keep your word and bring them back soon. I wish their return could bring some positive change to my mother’s condition. Seeing my mother is unbearable for me; I have no way to make her like this. I can only strive to awaken her memories, to have her recognize me. Yet, despite saying it a thousand times, she still forgets I’m her son in a blink of an eye. As her child, my greatest failure is my mother not recognizing me, and no matter what, I fail to make her remember me. That’s my greatest failure and setback in everything I’ve ever done.

”You’re right; I need to have your grandpa and grandma return immediately because the doctor told me the best way for your mother to recover is to have her parents accompany her. She hasn’t had their companionship for so many years—perhaps that’s why she’s become so depressed. Don’t always think it’s someone else’s fault; consider your own reasons. Even so, my heart still aches; she’s my wife, and she suffered so much because of me. How can I erase the pain deep inside?

I wake up from nightmares again and again, seeing her standing right in front of me, yet I have no way to.

I don’t want to continue living such a failed life, you understand? Again and again, I hope to be happy, hoping my existence brings joy to this family, making it better and happier. Yet, I don’t want to realize eventually all this was my doing—all the mistakes I’ve made. I don’t understand what grave mistake I committed in my life to make it such a mess. Have my parents returned home yet considering leaving again because of such failure? Why has this family broken repeatedly? Is it truly just because my parents came back? No, it’s just because I mishandled family relations over and over, being too self-centered, making decisions alone, stubbornly refusing to hear others, and misunderstanding my family’s care for me.”