My Alleged Husband

Chapter 965: Chapter 858: The Past

Old Master Zhang had no idea just how much psychological pressure his actions had placed on his son. His son had never truly understood what it felt like to bear such pressure; all he wanted was to live his own life freely and without interference from anyone. But such a wish was something he could never achieve.

As a father, deep down, all he ever thought about was how to ensure his son’s happiness, to let him live the kind of joyful life that everyone dreams of, and to prevent him from enduring hardship after hardship, only to end up gaining nothing in return. He could not accept such a fate. And yet, this fate seemed to have become the inevitable conclusion of his own life. Time and time again, he was unable to escape it or erase it. All he could do was repeatedly let destiny carve him apart at its will. He had manipulated everything within his power, only to ultimately realize that all of it was nothing but fleeting clouds.

No matter how much effort he had poured into his life, in the end, everything was lost. The things he longed for had never come to pass. He walked along a path that everyone else had deemed hopeless, step by step. Yet, he had never once considered giving up. He believed that as long as he could live the life he desired, filled with joy and purpose, then his entire life would be free of regrets. He would be willing to endure any suffering for that cause.

”Have I, as a father, been asking too much of you? Were my actions so unbearable that you are no longer willing to take even a single step down the path I’ve planned for you? Even if it’s just one small step? In your heart of hearts, what do you truly think of me? Again and again, I’ve poured all my life’s philosophies into you, into the very depths of your being. I wanted you to understand that no matter what choices you make or what outcomes you face, we will always stay by your side. We will never abandon you in this lifetime.

I’m a living, breathing person too. I’ve made countless mistakes, and not every one of those mistakes has been forgiven by others. Still, I have a clear conscience. In truth, those mistakes have left me with no choice for the rest of my life, yet I would still make the same ones all over again. Even if time reset itself, I would not change a single decision I’ve made in the past. Those decisions have given me a different kind of life—taken me, step by step, down a path leading to a new era.”

”Child, as a father, I would never hurt my own child, no matter how much pain my child causes me. Deep down, I have always treated my child as the most precious person in my life. Why can’t you understand this? Yes, you’ve hurt me before. You made me into the person I’ve become. But I’ve never blamed you—because I know that every decision I made had to prove itself to be the right thing to do. I couldn’t let you suffer alongside me. Even when you wanted to leave and venture far and wide, I gave you the freedom to go. Back then, I said, ’If you leave this house, you’ll no longer be my son.’ But when you returned, I still endured the pain and refused to shut the door in your face. Do you know how much that moment tore at my heart?”

”You’ve always known that I’m all bark and no bite. I may sound strict and harsh, but when it comes down to it, my heart aches. The pain deep within me has never truly been understood by anyone. Time and again, you’ve placed all your hopes upon me, and I’ve borne all the burdens and sins alone. I don’t blame any of you for this. After all, wasn’t this outcome nothing more than the path I myself chose to walk?”

”Zhentian, it’s true, your father wasn’t wrong. Over these years, you know better than anyone what you’ve been thinking deep inside. Even so, I still hope that you can take the time to reflect—think this through carefully. When it comes to this matter, it doesn’t really matter who’s right or wrong, or who’s to blame. We should face it all with an optimistic attitude. We shouldn’t heap all our pain onto others. Father is innocent. Our son is innocent. All our family members are innocent. And yet, the pain we’ve caused them through what we’ve done—have we really faced any punishment equal to what they endured?

Time will change everything. Reality has always been cruel, forcing us to adapt again and again. But if we can find ways to see reality as something beautiful, only then will we walk a new and different path in life.

I’ve spent so many years of my life living in pain and hatred. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life trapped in that pain. For me, it’s not just mental torment—it’s also physical agony. I can no longer endure it. Each time I close my eyes, I see bloodied bodies lying before me. They’re the people I killed, one by one. Do you know how scared I am when they come for me, demanding repayment for their lives? I’m so terrified that I can only hide under the covers, trembling. But I don’t dare tell you about it. I’m afraid. I’m deeply afraid that if I speak up, you’ll think all of this is the consequence of my heinous crimes—that I brought this upon myself.”

”I’ve struggled alone for so long, clinging to everything as if it were the most important part of my life. All I’ve ever wanted was happiness, joy. I never expected to suffer blow after blow. Do you understand what I feel every time I embark on yet another leg of this journey called life? Do you understand how much excitement fills me when I treat all I have as my own family?”

”Through all these years, the two of us have depended on each other for survival. In each other’s arms, we never once thought that one day we might have to part. But perhaps separation isn’t always a bad thing. For everyone, parting is an opportunity to challenge themselves, to face things they’ve never faced before. If the two of us stayed together forever, do you think we’d find those challenges? I don’t want that sort of ending for us, and I hope you can understand my painstaking efforts. Don’t make things difficult for your father anymore. Don’t let our son down. They’ve never told us to leave this home. It’s all just been my foolish imagination driving me to act this way. But why, why do you insist on following in my footsteps, knowing full well that this decision is wrong? In the end, the ones we hurt are not ourselves but our dearest family members. Can you imagine how much sorrow we’ve planted in their hearts? How utterly heartbreaking it must be for them, watching what we’ve done?”