My Alleged Husband

Chapter 874: Chapter 820: Caring

”Zhentian, have you really become foolish? You were never like this before. Although I always liked to think of you as naive and said you were too simplistic, never thinking things through before acting.

But why, when doing this today, did you still not consider the ultimate outcome deep inside? You never cared what your father might think, you only had eyes for me. But in your eyes, is a wife really that important? Your father is the one who gave birth to you and raised you, how hard it was for him to bring you up, yet I am just a pawn you brought into the family. Wives can be found again, but if your father is gone, he is gone forever. Why don’t you ever consider your own family’s feelings?

Although you care so much about me, deep inside I am really touched, I am happy, and I am able to receive such profound love from you, but sometimes love shouldn’t be like this. Your kind of love is too selfish and advantageous. This kind of love is not something we can bear. We want so little in life, we yearn for happiness that is too simple, but why does it always end up with outcomes that make us both not want to go on living? Is that the outcome you really want?

You should know that all anyone wants is just a simple life, we’ve been through so much together over the years, you know better than anyone, you also know how I have been living these years, you also know what I mean to you? Deep inside you understand better than anyone, but why do you still pretend to be innocent? You always feel that this will win everyone’s understanding, do you find that interesting?

Time and time again, I am the one who takes the blame while you step out to take the fall for me, making the whole world think I am not a good person!

Sometimes you need to think about it from another perspective, consider issues from the standpoint of others. Only by empathizing can you know what your actions look like to others, what others will think of such outcomes. Never only consider issues from your own perspective, because that perspective is too careless, you cannot make the decisions that others want to make. Sometimes your thoughts are just misunderstandings of others, but that’s not what others think at all, thus misunderstandings between us have grown. Isn’t that the case between us?

I think now, the person you should most apologize to is not me but your father. If you had really died here today, you would have lost your father, your son—bluntly put, you would have abandoned them once again. This time completely and forever abandoning them. In their hearts, they would never forgive you, a cruel father, a heartless son, because your actions are simply unforgivable. Why do you keep treating them like this, just for me?

Since I’ve said before that I no longer hold any grudges about everything in the past, and I’ve married you, it means I will no longer pursue past mistakes. There’s no need for you to keep dredging up the past; clinging onto it brings no benefits, only deteriorates our relationship, making it more complicated. I just want to stay here quietly, beside my own child. Please give me this chance, don’t make things difficult for me repeatedly, always opposing me.”

Zhang Zhentian hung his head, crushed by his wife’s words, as he finally realized that none of his actions were ever right, his wife always knew better. What did all his actions amount to? And yet again he almost caused his father to utterly lose him, he knew how much his own life mattered to his father, yet why were his actions so thoughtless, always oversimplifying everything, never considering their feelings?

It’s all because I was too autocratic, time and again, never thinking if others could endure such blows. All I wanted was a spur-of-the-moment decision, only to end up regretting when it is far too late, and nobody will wait forever for you to admit your mistake, nor will they necessarily forgive you even when you do.

”Xia Jing, I’m sorry, I understand now, I feel that none of my actions were ever right, and now all I want is a stable life. I will never again frivolously sacrifice my own life, because there is only one life, and under no circumstances can I treat it frivolously. If I did, how much pain would my family, especially my father, be in? He who raised me with such hard work, would I be causing a parent who has aged to send off a younger person?

If that were the case, how painful would that be for him? I am his son, how could he possibly understand or be happy if I left this world in such a way? What he wants is just for his son to live securely by his side, to talk with him constantly, and to see this person at home as a form of happiness and consolation. But if I were really to leave this world, what then would my father say, unable to ever again see his son, would he be even more devastated?”

”It’s good that you understand now. If you continue on this path, I really wouldn’t know how to speak to you.

Your thinking is so much slower than everyone else’s, everyone else knows to admit their mistakes immediately, but you never have time to react and think there is nothing wrong with your actions. However, in reality, everything you have done has been wrong, you have never considered other people’s thoughts at the time. Aren’t you going to apologize sincerely to your father now, do you still think he should keep worrying about you?”

Anytime, anywhere, as parents, it’s impossible not to care about their child’s wellbeing. Even if their child commits a mistake, as parents, they will always only care about what kind of life their child has!”