My Alleged Husband

Chapter 869: Chapter 815: Love But Can’t Have

Zhang Zhentian felt that no matter what he said to his father now, it would be useless. The only thing he could do was to make his father happy to be alive. However, the taste of unrequited love, he really didn’t want to experience it again, because for him, it was the most painful thing he never wanted to endure in this lifetime.

”Dad, I know, everything I’ve done has let you down, but all I want is to be by the side of the woman I love the most. Do you understand? For her, I have traveled all over the world, and when she left, I didn’t abandon myself. I did everything to win her back, not out of impulse. What I wanted was just for her to be by my side.

Even if the person in the depths of her heart isn’t me, I feel at peace just being able to see her. You can’t understand this feeling, the desire to stay by her side quietly. But for you, is this too difficult? Does it make you feel, time and time again, that all I’m doing is just putting on an act?

You’ve never experienced the taste of unrequited love, how painful can it be? Do you comprehend the pain deep in my heart?

This pain is something no one can change. Since I chose this path from the beginning, it proves that deep down, I only want to spend my life with her, no matter what the final outcome is, no matter how much turmoil we have to face together. But such days are really precious. Two people in love together, facing the world hand in hand - who can understand that feeling, who can experience it for me?

All of this depends solely on myself. I don’t ask for much anymore, repeated pain and sorrow have severely impacted the depth of my heart. I just want to stay by his side calmly, to accompany him. Since I chose to hurt you in the beginning, now I can’t choose to hurt her to protect you.

If I truly choose to do that, then without a doubt, it would be to hurt every one of you thoroughly again. None of you would hope for such an outcome, would you?”

”Son, maybe I really can’t understand that taste of unrequited love you mentioned, even less so experience it. Your mother has been gone for so many years, do you know? Even if nobody understands me, can’t you empathize with the depth of pain I hold as a father?

You love your wife, and because of our interference, you can’t have her, and that’s a taste of unrequited love. You’re heartbroken, but what about me? I loved your mother very much too, but she has completely departed from this world. My love for her is also unrequited, and it’s even harder since she has gone. Your wife is still alive; you can argue with her, chase after her, but I can’t do anything since she has left this world, and she can only live forever in my memory.

Actually, I really hope you can think clearly for yourself about what you really want. But over these years, you’ve committed errors time and time again, yet you have never considered what I, in my entire life, have truly wanted. You’ve become numb; you’re lost on the pathway of life; you don’t know what you really want; step by step, you’ve turned into what you are today.

Maybe you think your life is going pretty well now, carefree, but you’ve forgotten those who were hurt because of you, how painful their lives must be.

You’re talking about the pain of love lost to me now, but we’ve both experienced it. Everyone goes through it, they’ve all become numb, unsure of how to live their lives. I keep pushing myself to a dead-end. I need to know that I must never let the interests ahead cloud my judgment no matter when or where.

I didn’t get where I am today easily. My conglomerate and my company reaching this outcome wasn’t easy either. Everything I’ve done, I’ve worked hard for all by myself, without relying on anyone, starting from scratch. Yet I gave you a life of luxury, and in return, you’ve given me nothing but taunts and abandonment time and time again!

When you’ve done all these things, have you ever considered how much we, as parents, adore you? We have made so many sacrifices for you, our children, yet no matter what we do, in your eyes it’s all but a fleeting dream, and you don’t care. Because deep in your heart, you no longer know whether you should protect your family or live together; you simply don’t know anymore.

In fact, your life has been a failure. You’ve sacrificed so much for yourself, even more for your wife, willing to pay any price to elope with her, even if it means abandoning your own child. In the end, the result is that you’ve made mistakes over and over again.

You’ve made so many mistakes, yet you haven’t realized if you were wrong or not. If you don’t know where you’ve gone wrong, you won’t know what to do. You see everyone as devils, but the real devil is yourself. You’ve destroyed the happiness of all those around you time and time again; you’ve ruined your life for your so-called lofty ideals.

Think about it, has your wife really been happily by your side these years? Has she never missed her child, never thought about returning to this home? You might have been happy at the moment, but the consequences are immensely great. Everything requires a price, and the price you’ve paid is being rejected over and over. I believe that feeling is something you both will never forget in this lifetime. It’s the hurt your son brought to you, choosing never to forgive you as parents. How does it feel deep in your hearts?

Love lost is just a phrase, and whether you can obtain it in the end still depends on your decisions. If you choose to live well with him, then you must spare no effort to win her back!”