My Alleged Husband

Chapter 872: Chapter 818: What’s Death to Me?

”Do life and death really mean so little to you? By disregarding your own life like this, where do you think you leave your parents? You’ve never considered how much your family suffers, always acting solely for your own selfish desires, doing whatever you want to do. That’s your true intention, isn’t it? You’ve never thought about how much pain this will cause everyone!

One shouldn’t be too self-centered. Lack of self-control isn’t a good thing for anyone, nor does it lead to good outcomes. With a single cut, you end your own life, but those who suffer are still alive. They are in agony over your departure because they care about you, they value you as much as their own lives. Have you really never considered how much your actions would hurt your loved ones, how much pain they would feel?

You think that by dying, you’ve ended it all, but you’ve forgotten how much pain those who are still alive will endure.”

”Yes, you’re right, everything you say is correct. In the eyes of all of you, I am a coward, nothing at all. I live so selfishly, for my own trivial desires, I could disregard even my own parents, I could abandon my own child. What is there that I couldn’t do, when I am willing to give up my own life? What do you think I could possibly fear?

All my life, I never had the courage. I am afraid that if I really take that cut, I’ll never see you again. But eventually, I realized that it’s not that frightening after all. What’s truly terrifying is losing you!

You want to live happily, but I can’t live happily. My life is doomed to be filled with pain and sorrow. All I’ve ever wanted was you, just you. I gave up everything, let go of everything, just to be with you. When I look back on those times, I was genuinely happy and joyful. But now, all the happiness has turned to ash in an instant!

They say happiness is easy to achieve, but why is mine so hard to come by? I just want to live peacefully together, I don’t want anything else, I ask for nothing. I’ve laid down all my principles, all my self-respect and dignity. People say I have no backbone. Is it really my fate to be trampled upon as they wish? It’s only because I care too much for you, that in front of you I’ve become someone without any bottom line, neglecting all my principles just for you!”

Old Master Zhang never imagined his son would turn out to be like this one day. Is this person still the lively and sunny son he once knew? What has he gone through over these years to become so wretched and desperate?

He cannot comprehend, nor can he understand what kind of mentality, what kind of thoughts lie deep within his son’s heart.

He has become numb. He can even dispense with his own biological father. Perhaps there really is nothing he wouldn’t do. What he wants seems so simple, yet he has forgotten the most important responsibilities he should bear in his life. He has cast everything aside for a woman, and yet, even after he had resorted to suicide, she still refuses to forgive him. Is there truly no path left for them? Why have they come to this point? Where has that sweet happiness and joy gone? What has become of all the trust they once had?

”I don’t care what kind of conflict you and your spouse are having, nor do I care how you’ve fought with each other. But have you ever thought that I have to bear the punishment for all the wrongs you’ve vented out? You’ve gradually come to this point; do you think it’s appropriate? What exactly do you both want deep inside? Don’t you know anymore? You’ve turned out like this, how should we, your elders, your relatives, feel about this?

Why are you still so impulsive now, so reckless without consideration of the consequences? Don’t you really know how much your family will sacrifice for you? Time and again, what have you regarded all this as? Have you never considered what you really want? You just blindly follow all the thoughts in the depths of your heart. But are those thoughts really correct? You’ve become numb. You don’t know who you are anymore. You’ve become unkind, unjust, disloyal, and unfilial!

You are no longer the son I know. The person you are now feels so strange to me as a father. I don’t understand where my former son has gone, the one who was so kind, so amiable, so bright and sunny. But now all that’s left of you is shadows, you live your entire life in darkness. You can’t see a single ray of sunlight, a single bit of joy. You think everyone is as dark as you think, but the darkest person here is you yourself.

From the moment you made that cut, I knew you were no longer my son. You’ve become someone else, a stranger I don’t recognize and don’t know. Who has taken over my son’s body, coming back to deceive his father? Why treat me this way? Wouldn’t a good life here have been enough?

What is it about this family that makes you feel you can’t continue, can’t face it, and have to resort to such a measure? Do you find happiness in doing so? Happiness? You’ve driven yourself into a dead end, and you’ve brought pain to everyone, making it impossible for everyone to face it all. Perhaps what you want is really different from us, but do you realize that all we want is a stable life?

You are no longer my son, you have become a stranger, and this estrangement scares me. Being someone who can so easily disregard their own life, I really don’t know what else you couldn’t do. No matter how much blood is on your hands, no matter how many people you’ve hurt, can you really just abandon all your family members?”

”I can’t worry about so much anymore. The woman I love most is leaving me, I can’t go on living. I want stability too, but everyone is pushing me to a dead end. I have nowhere to turn but to take my own life. My death will provide a peaceful society, a peaceful life for everyone. You think such a life is the peace you all want, and that’s what you desire!

What does life and death matter? No one can escape from birth and death. By dying early, I’ve simply fulfilled everyone’s wishes...”