My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1848: Chapter 1642: Never

In the past, you always thought that I was with you because of wealth and prosperity, but you never knew that I never thought that way.

”You always believed I was with you for money; you don’t understand me at all. What I really want is not that. I just want to live with the man I love the most. When I achieve my ideal goal and marry the man I love the most, I realize my life is already fulfilled!

But in your eyes, you may think this is nothing, but for me, it’s a big deal. I can endure you constantly disregarding me, and I can endure you doubting me again and again. I can tolerate almost never finding you by my side when I seek you out, but I cannot endure you wronging me time and time again, not even willing to give me the basic trust.

Over these years, in the eyes of outsiders, others think we’re a loving couple. But the truth? How do you really treat me? Are you even aware in your heart? No matter how I try to please you and cater to you, you always brush me off with a smile, do you know that? Sometimes I genuinely feel heartbroken and feel like a failure. Why is it that after treating the person I love with such sincerity, this is the result I get? Why is the person I love most unwilling to say he loves me?

I can’t distinguish which sentences are true and which are false anymore. But I’m not asking for much; just please, I’m pleading with you, don’t repeatedly deprive me of the right to happiness. I just want to be with you. For you, I’ve changed so much, yet ultimately, I find no matter how much I change, I’ll never be good enough for you. You’re always a notch above me—because your education is different, your background is different, everything about you is different. Our views of life, values, and ideals are all different. But do you know something? It’s precisely because of these differences that I follow your lead. I follow you and slowly shift my own perspectives on life based on yours. Your values differ from mine, and I adjust myself to match your values.

Do you really see these things as insignificant? Do you think I was born to be lowly, destined to treat you this way? Are you inherently supposed to be elevated high on others’ praise, so I, as your wife, must be stamped underfoot, forever unable to rise?

Yichen, I can’t find a way to understand how you see us now. Your coldness towards me is driving me to the brink at times. I don’t know what to do or what attitude to adopt towards you. Clearly, many things aren’t my fault, but for your so-called dignity and to make you happy, I lower my head and admit fault repeatedly. Yet in the end, no matter my weakness, you never care about how I feel. Why is what I want so hard to achieve?

When I ask you questions, you always think of avoiding them. When trouble arises between us, and I want to clarify things thoroughly, you choose to wrong me indiscriminately. Do you really trust me? Do you truly see me as family inside? On the day you confessed to me and during the years you genuinely treated me well, I considered you family, but you saw me as a tool to use instead.”

”I’ve never seen you as a tool for my use. I just wanted you to stay safely at home, not wandering aimlessly. It’s not that I don’t trust you; rather, the mistakes you’ve made make it hard for me to trust you. I’m afraid; I’m afraid that past events might repeat themselves, and I can’t endure such pain again. Why is it, after hurting me so many times, you now understand what it feels like not to be trusted?”

”When I was with you, I shared my whole heart and every truth with you. My trust in you has always been wholehearted. I’ve never doubted you, but you never believed in me. Perhaps you think I’m cheap, right? Should everything conform to your wishes? Clearly, many things aren’t my fault. Why do I still bear all the blame for your happiness?”

I’ve pondered over and over without finding a suitable conclusion. When I finally come to terms, I realize everything I’ve done is just because I love you. But ultimately, this is the result. Do you really know me? You always think I’m with you for Xiao Jing, wealth, and prosperity. In a world with so many people, so many wealthy individuals, others could offer me complete trust. Why do I choose you then? Because I believe someday I can warm your heart, which has grown cold because of me, through my efforts to change.”

”You once said your heart was dead, never to love again. Yet you ended up with me. I don’t know if you’re with me to torment me or use me.

Why treat me this way? Why won’t you give me a peaceful life? Why distrusting me repeatedly affects you little, but it delivers fatal pain to me...”

”Zihan, some things have passed; let’s not revisit them. Isn’t living a stable life now good enough? Why stir up those past people you know had ill intentions? Why do you act this way? Are you deliberately testing my patience?

My patience has limits; I can’t forever accommodate and love you unconditionally. I just want you to cherish and genuinely be with me, with no one else dwelling in your heart. Can you truly do it? If you can, I can forfeit everything for it!”

”It’s too late for you to say these things now. Since you’ve wronged me without distinction, without even an apology, how do you expect me to forgive you?

I truly want to ask you this: On what basis did you wrong me indiscriminately in your heart, and how do you regard me? Why, having done wrong yourself, can you wrong others uncaringly, yet unleash no apology? Do you truly have the right to be this arrogant? Just because you’re wealthy?”

I understand better than anyone what kind of person you are; how could you choose me solely for wealth and prosperity, given your arrogance...