My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1819: Chapter 1613

The deepest memory we had was that embrace between us, yet now that embrace feels so extravagant, as if I were embracing air.

”Do we have to meet like this in the future, just because we once loved each other so deeply but now have to be strangers? Do you think this is too cruel for me? You know clearly that I can’t let go of this in my heart, so why do you still want me to accept such pain? You’ve truly left me with no choice!”

”Actually, I can see that the relationship between the two of you must be very good, so why choose to give it up now? Despite having such a good wife who is struggling for your daughter inside, you wander around outside without calming your heart. Do you know that your actions put your wife in a very difficult position? She only wishes to give you a healthy, happy baby. Sometimes, certain things happen much sooner than you expected, catching you off guard, because they teach you that on this journey of life, regardless of time and place, you must stay vigilant; otherwise, one day you’ll end up trailing behind and experience the bitter taste of being stepped upon by others!”

Xia Jing knows these words are meant for him, but he lacks evidence and cannot let these words be copied out.

Despite once being such a loving couple, why has the relationship between the two of us become like this in old age? I never expected this ending in my lifetime. I just wish none of this had ever happened. But why doesn’t heaven give me another chance? I only wish to go back and make it up to my wife. Is it really so difficult? She has already given up completely and will never return to me again, yet I remain stuck in the past, unable to extricate myself...

”That’s how people are; when they have something, they never feel satisfied, but when they lose it, they realize how important it was to them. They might go to any lengths to retrieve those things, but can you really find them in the end? Can you bring back what has been lost? Time has already passed; can you reverse it? It’s impossible, but why cling to it? Perhaps for a sliver of faith that keeps you alive!”

”Exactly, though there’s been no intersection, he’s been living well abroad for years. Even without me, he’s been living happily as if nothing’s missing, and it’s strange that even when he wasn’t by her side, he was happy. Why do I keep entangling with them? Why don’t I give him a way out? Just for that bit of narcissism in my heart, should I hurt so many people? Just because of that narcissism, must so many people bear the consequences of the mistakes I once made? I shouldn’t be so selfish; what one has done will eventually come to light, and even now I cannot erase this person from my inner world. She must be someone who can let go of this love because this love didn’t belong to me in the first place. A marriage that wasn’t meant for me—even if we’re together, life won’t be happy...”

”Do you think he and I are suitable together? Back then, we defied everything to be together, even going against my father. Reflecting on it now, I realize how unreasonable I was, saying such things to my father, who loves me so much. But gradually, as time passes, everyone develops different mindsets. Once you understand many things, they become different too, but some people remain trapped in a dead-end their whole lives, unable to get out...”

”Some people can continue living not because of anything else, but because of the trace of longing and obsession in their hearts, allowing them to have a shred of faith to live a few more years, or even decades, in this world. If they lose that faith, then how would they carry on living? They don’t want their world to collapse; they believe that as long they can watch the people they care about happily give birth to the child they wish to see, it is enough for everyone. One shouldn’t be too greedy, right? Greed leads to nothing good!”

”Am I greedy? Actually, I’m not greedy in what I do; I just hope to see the ones I love grow happily—what’s wrong with that? I just hope to be with the ones I love for a lifetime—isn’t that good? Sometimes I really can’t understand why the marriage I’ve fought so hard for has to be ruined by my actions again and again. I could have kept it going forever, but instead, I play the villain in it, making it fall apart beyond repair!”

...

After talking with himself for half a day, Zhang Zhentian ultimately doesn’t want his wife to leave him just like that. But now he feels that since he sees in his posts that he can live more happily and more joyously, that’s what he hopes to see. He doesn’t ask for much in this lifetime, just to see those he cares about live happily, even if he’s not by their side, and that’s enough for him. And Xia Jing has already accomplished that; during the five years without Zhang Zhentian, Xia Jing lived freely alone abroad. She had once divorced her husband and nearly ended her own life, but now looking back, it was all so naive and laughable. Why give up one’s precious life for a man? Although people often say: Life is precious; love is more precious. If it’s for freedom, both can be discarded.

Zhang Zhentian struggled for a long time but finally realized that regardless of whether he did right or wrong, he shouldn’t punish himself this way. He should sincerely wish his dearest wife well, knowing that without him around, she can still live freely. That’s the best thing for him, isn’t it? He loved Xia Jing so much, but because of him, he broke Xia Jing’s heart. Now that Xia Jing can live happily without him, that’s perhaps the best outcome for him.

Some things don’t need to be said to be understood; not everything is simple. Sometimes, things are very difficult.