My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1826: Chapter 1620: Making a Wish

The pain and harm I gave you have become powerless and pale.

”Zhentian, actually there are some things deep inside your heart that you are aware of. Those things aren’t just forgotten by talking about forgetting, like how I did such things to you today and said such words to you. You might feel indifferent towards them, but does your heart truly not feel any struggle? Does your heart genuinely not feel any pain?

I believe that deep down, you feel the same pain because you are a man. As a man, you should have dignity, and you don’t want your wife to be thought of by anyone else. You also don’t want her to have another man in her heart, especially when that man isn’t you. For you, that’s a great insult.

Over the years, I’ve seen your genuine feelings for me, but I’ve always chosen to avoid them, ignoring your sincerity. Every sincere but unpleasant advice you gave me, I treated as if I didn’t hear. I know doing this is truly unfair to you, but there are some things I can’t help. I can only use this way to tell you, to oppose you, because perhaps this is the only way you will slowly let go of me.

I once read a book called ’Letting Go is Also a Form of Beauty.’ Letting go is a form of fulfillment, you know? When I saw this book, I was so surprised. I wondered why others could let go so perfectly, turn away so perfectly. Even if there are tears streaming down at that moment, they can still leave resolutely. But why can’t I?

If back then, when you pursued me, I had resolutely turned away, would there not be today’s tragedy? Would you not be so deeply hurt by me? All this is mistakes I made, yet ultimately, it made you bear this pain together with me, and I feel truly sorry.

Some things are genuinely impossible to let go of. You can’t give up the past. You can’t forget the things I told you. Since that’s the case, why do we have to forcibly entangle? Both feeling guilty, uneasy. Is this the life everyone wants? This is just pushing each other step by step onto a dead-end road, only realizing what you’ve done wrong, what choices you’ve made, what consequences they’ve brought you, whether you’ve gotten what you wanted in this life!”

Zhang Zhentian understood the intention behind his wife’s words. She still hoped he would let go and fulfill her life by leaving. But for him, wasn’t it the hardest thing in the world?

”Perhaps what you say is correct, but I find it impossible to fulfill this point. Maybe I don’t have such generosity. But do you know? The moment I think about letting go of the woman I’ve cherished for decades, no longer being mine, my heart twists in pain. I can’t bear that kind of pain. I don’t wish for you to bear the same sorrow with me. I just want us to live a stable life together. Is it really that difficult? Isn’t it fine to give me a way out and give yourself a way out?

You think I can’t let go of your past. But today, I’m going to clearly tell you: as long as you’re willing to try giving me a chance to love me, try staying by my side!

Then I am willing to give up all past things for you. I can treat all those past events as if they never happened. I will still love you as before, still accompany you by your side, never leaving nor abandoning, until the end of my life.

Perhaps you don’t quite believe what I’ve said right now. But you know? Every word I say to you comes from the heart. I’ve never intended to deceive you, even if you’ve said so many lies to me. My heart still believes in you. I can still make choices and decisions deemed unwise by everyone just to keep you by my side. I’ve reached this point. I believe you won’t remain heartless. Aware of your feelings for me, yet still rejecting me from afar...”

Zhang Yichen heard his father’s words, and his heart felt a bit tangled. His heart trembled along with it. Even his father can let go of past prejudices for his mother and his lover, so why can’t he do the same? His wife is someone he spent ten years searching for. That kind of feeling isn’t something that can be severed easily. Shouldn’t he make some sacrifices for her? Should he really be so autocratic, destroying his life over these trivial matters?

Maybe only by truly letting go of the past can the future between them be the best choice. Maybe, only in doing so will each person know what kind of life they truly want, and for what life they will make such a choice. Perhaps those choices will benefit them enormously throughout their lives, or maybe those choices will bring significant burdens.

Ran Zhihan pondered in his heart, wondering why his parents could reach this point while his husband couldn’t let go of past prejudices?

If his husband could do the same, wouldn’t life be so much happier? No one can truly know.

”Zhentian, some things are not so easily let go of, as you should understand. Even if you swear an oath here, saying you can let go of all past things, does your heart truly pass that hurdle?

I don’t wish for you to force yourself to do anything. I just hope you speak and act according to your true feelings. I hope you can live happily. I don’t care. I’m indifferent to how painfully I live, as long as you can be happy. I owe you too much in the past, never considering making any changes for you. Now, I just want to do something for you!

Also, I hope you don’t foolishly invest all your emotions into me like you did before. That way, in the end, you’ll truly be very tired. One day, my departure will strike you hardest. That moment isn’t the outcome I want to see. What I want is for you to smile brightly at me.

But the things you said today truly touched me. Maybe someday I will deeply love you. Until that day comes, I really can’t help but be consumed by it, entrapped for life. If that day truly comes, I hope you’ll truly be able to let go of all the past as you said today, wholeheartedly be with me and live!”

I thought we could break through the gloom of life, but in the end, I was disappointed...