My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1688: Chapter 1482: Helplessness

Life is full of helplessness, where are there so many peaceful days?

Zhang Zhentian had no idea what his father’s innermost thoughts really were. He thought his father should be happy with everything, and he believed that his return to this family was the happiest thing for his father in his entire life. Yet he never expected that his return would ultimately make them look down on him.

”Dad, I know, maybe deep down in your heart, you feel that my return to this family is a sign of weakness. But I can openly tell you that no matter what, I definitely don’t mean to feel any loss. I just want to stay steadily in this family. I just want everyone in the family to genuinely see me as one of the family members. The harm I once caused you may never be remedied in this lifetime, and I have already sincerely apologized to you many times. No matter what, deep down, you guys still aren’t willing to see me as a family member. I don’t understand what I really mean to you, nor do I understand what the significance is.

Repeatedly, I tell myself I am your son. No matter what, I am willing to stay by your side to take care of you. Regardless of what opinions you have about me, if I stay by your side, it proves I still have the chance to show you my filial piety. Once, I caused you harm, and for the rest of my lifetime, I can only use my remaining years to make it up to you. I want to give back all the love, care, and attention I once owed you. I will stay by your side, even if it means serving like a beast of burden, I won’t hesitate!”

”Why do you do this to yourself? Since you knew this day would come, why did you firmly decide to leave in the first place? Don’t you understand that your departure back then caused everyone in the family so much worry? You didn’t see the family as people you sincerely wanted to be with, always thinking about using your friends and treating family members as if they could be casually used. You seemed to think your family could be easily hurt without any complaints, but you forgot that family members are people too, not gods!

Zhentian, you are not young anymore. As a father, I shouldn’t have to repeat myself over and over again. Doing so would only harm your self-esteem, you know? Some things can’t be easily forgotten. Look back and reflect on all the choices you made. Was there any choice you made back then that you don’t regret?

You hold a grudge over us rejecting you so harshly back then, and you can’t let it go. Yet you choose to say nothing. I don’t know how to address this with you. I don’t know if your tolerance is just that strong, or if you’re simply hiding it too deeply!”

”Dad, I’ve explained this more than once. I’ve never been resentful for being forced to leave the family or because you shut me out back then. Since I’ve said I wouldn’t mind, it proves I truly can let go. No matter what, you are my father. Everything I brought upon you was my mistake!

Even if this time, when I return to your family, you still shut me out, I can understand. No matter how you treat me, I’m willing to accept it because you are my father. Just like you once said, I am your son. This is an unbreakable blood relationship. Maybe this blood will make you feel a kind of sadness and feel that we’re not worthy of being your sons, not worthy of living in this family with you. But we have genuinely come to realize our mistakes. I believe that in the time to come, you will surely see with your own eyes what kind of price we paid for our wrong choices!”

”You don’t have to do this at all. Over the years, I haven’t given you much, and you don’t need to repay me now. Between us, there is still no relationship. Even if you’re my son, so what? When you left back then, it already severed all ties between us as father and son!

The moment you heartlessly turned and left, that figure I will never forget. You didn’t look back, and you didn’t have the slightest attachment to this family. You left so free and easy, giving up on everything here, thinking you would never step foot here again in this lifetime. But I didn’t expect you to still come back begging!

Admittedly, if it weren’t for you getting in a car accident, such a major incident happening, if I didn’t see in your son’s heart a bit of reluctance, and if it wasn’t to allow you all to heal peacefully, how could I agree to let you return to this home?

The mistakes you’ve made, I can never forgive in this lifetime. Why do you keep humiliating yourself, begging time and time again for our forgiveness? Don’t you feel you’re living too humbly?

A real man should live honorably. How can one kneel for minor things or shed tears over slight unhappiness? Men don’t easily cry. Do you think you’re still a man now?

The moment you put down your dignity, knelt begging for our forgiveness just to return home, I already had no regard for you at all. You’re not worth my high esteem. You’re not even one-tenth of your son, who can reach the pinnacle of life through his efforts, but you can’t!

He never demeaned himself before anyone, and you? Who have you pleaded with? Don’t you have even a bit of self-awareness in your heart? Do you think others will regard you as their most important person just because you beg them? They won’t.

You can give up everything for your wife, that I understand because we’re all passionate people who’ve been through love, and it’s impossible to give up on such feelings. But that doesn’t mean you can use this as an excuse to absolve yourself of the mistakes you’ve made. Saying that you did it for your wife feels way too unfair, as if shifting all the responsibility to her.

I also know you’ve thought about taking responsibility, yet you never took that step. Because deep down, you believe that all the mistakes shouldn’t be borne by you alone, there should be others sharing the burden too, that would be fair...”

Joy is always so effortless.