My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1684: Chapter 1478: Pain

Always, time and again, I hurt those closest to me, driving them all away, and after they’re gone, I realize that this wasn’t what I wanted. What I truly wanted was just to have the one closest to me stay by my side. But is it really that easy? Once lost, it’s gone forever. No one will choose because of your loss, and no one will pity you because you’ve endured unbearable memories.

”I knew from the start that the person who understands me the most in the world isn’t anyone else but you. You know what I want the most because you’ve watched firsthand how much I love you over the years. For you, I’ve reached the point of doing whatever it takes. I’ve even convinced myself that I could live without my own life. If it wasn’t for your call, if it wasn’t for me dimly hearing my father wanting to kick you out and leave you battered on the streets, I really wouldn’t have wanted to wake up no matter what. In my dream, I can hold your hand, kiss your lips, and cuddle you every night. Do you know how happy that feels? In reality, when have you ever given me such joy?

When we were passionately in love, don’t you understand what kind of feeling you gave me? Do you still not understand what I want now? Over and over again — does my heart really not break? You can’t hear the sound of heartbreak, but I can feel it. The moment my heart broke because of you proved that for the rest of my life, I could only live under your control.

If I really can’t completely let you go, then even if I one day truly wake up and you’re not by my side, what’s the point? I’d rather sleep in my dreams forever and never wake up again. All I want is you, only you, I love you. Do you know how much I love you? Love you! Love you! Love you!

My love for you has never changed all these years. Even if deep down you may no longer care about me, I’m still willing to be with you. Because every day with you, even if I’m absent in your eyes and you’re absent in my heart, I’m still happy. Just seeing you by my side is a kind of happiness for me. Maybe you think I’m foolish, naïve. When one clearly isn’t worth it, why do I continue doing this?”

”Can you stop talking? What’s the point of saying this now? I know you love me a lot; you’d do anything for me, using all means, and you’d show absolute loyalty, though you can be heartless. But you never make up your mind when it comes to me because deep down, all you want is for me to stay by your side and give you a happy home, so you can have the complete love of a wife like other men. But do you know? Since our problem began, I haven’t been able to do that, but now I can clearly tell you, I truly can because no one else will ever exist besides you in my heart.

I think we both need to remember this lesson, didn’t we? Why always wait until it’s lost to regret? Does regret after loss truly restore everything? Can it return to its original state as if nothing happened? This is impossible, and we both know it, just unwilling to speak the truth!”

”My dear wife, rest assured, this time I’ll remember this lesson no matter what. If not for this lesson, how would I realize how deeply I love you? Do you truly regard me as your husband deep down? I’m truly thankful. Although I’ve suffered immensely this time, my heart is sweet because you care for me day and night disregarding your own health. Your presence beside me already makes me happy!

The happiness I seek is truly simple, having you in mind. Who in this life hasn’t lived selfishly? And my most selfish moment is now, wishing you to stay by my side. Perhaps this seems very selfish, but I’ve never wanted to dwell on who is right or wrong.

In my eyes, a perfect life is when everyone can live happily ever after.

This is a blood-stained lesson. Had I paused even a little longer, perhaps I’d never see you all again. But I eventually broke through my nightmares and chose to wake up. I chose to face the cruel reality with my last bit of courage. When I wake up, I don’t know if you’ll agree to stay with me or if you’ll really remain by my side. But waking up means hope. Not waking up means losing even the last bit of hope. I don’t want our hope to shatter just like that.”

Maybe only the two of them know what kind of things this calamity brought to them deep inside.

Each of them found what they most wanted deep in their hearts. To have the one they love the most is truly the happiest thing in the world. Never had they considered what each other wanted. They always hurt each other, but in the end, who do they really hurt? Doesn’t it always end with their own hearts? Why hurt oneself while hurting others? Is that really the wisest choice? But it isn’t!

Since Zhang Zhentian woke up, Old Master Zhang’s condition gradually improved, too.

Indeed, with his son recovered and his daughter-in-law and son reconciled, this family is about to return to its original state. As an elder who longed for such happy moments, how could his heart not be excited or happy? Everyone desires a mediocre life, never considering how perfect their life should be. Only by living in the happiest world time and again will one’s life in this world not be in vain.

After everything, Zhang Yichen saw from his parents’ situation that if one truly cannot stand it, why involve others? If you’ve decided to walk this path, you should see it through. If you’ve chosen to love those around you, love wholeheartedly no matter what. If, because of a bad incident, you choose to give up — even if two people remain together, what meaning does it hold? Ultimately, it only leads to each harboring their own intentions, hurting only themselves, wounding the ones they love the most. Those who don’t love you can never hurt you, while those who do love you will be heartbroken over and over by your actions. No one wants to experience that kind of pain repeatedly in their lifetime. With each choice, choosing to walk your own path, love whom you love, and love those who love you — only then will life truly be perfect, never regretting an error and realizing it was your fault all along.

Caution should always be taken, never easily trusting others because you never know if they’ll deceive you.