My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1569: Chapter 1363: The First Step

Everything is so painful, but who can explain all this helplessness?

”Zhentian, are you really foolish? You never used to be like this. Although I always liked to think you were silly and said you were too naive and acted without thinking.

But why, when you did this today, did you not consider the final outcome from the depths of your heart? You never cared about what your father would think, and you only had me in your eyes. But is a wife really that important in your eyes? Your father is the one who gave birth to you and raised you. He worked so hard to bring you up, and it wasn’t easy. But I am just a pawn that you brought into the house. If a wife is gone, you can find another, but if a father is gone, he’s gone forever. Why don’t you consider your family’s feelings?

Even though you care so much about me, deep inside I’m really moved and happy. I am able to receive your deep love, but sometimes love isn’t like this. This kind of love is too selfish, and it’s not the kind that we can bear. The life we want is really simple, and the happiness we seek is very straightforward. But why does the outcome, again and again, leave us both in unbearable pain? Is that really the outcome you desire?

You should understand that everyone only wants a simple life. Over the years, we’ve been through so many ups and downs together; you know this better than anyone else. You know how I have survived these years, and you know what I am to you. Deep down, you understand better than anyone, so why do you pretend to be innocent? You always think that way trying to get everyone’s sympathy, do you find it amusing?

Time and again, I take all the blame, and you step out to bear everything for me, making everyone think I’m not a good person!

Sometimes, think about it the other way around, consider things from others’ perspectives. Once you switch perspectives, you’ll understand what others think of your actions. When others know the outcome, what will they think? Never think only from your own perspective, because that’s too careless. You cannot make decisions for others about what they want to do. Sometimes your thoughts are just your misunderstandings of others. Often, because of this, misunderstandings between us grow bigger. Isn’t that what happened between us?

I think the person you most need to apologize to right now isn’t me; it’s your father. If you truly died here today, you would lose your father and your son. Bluntly speaking, it means you once again abandoned them, this time permanently. In their hearts, they will never forgive you, the heartless father, the heartless son, because your actions are simply unforgivable. Why do you treat them like this repeatedly, just for me?

Since I’ve said I no longer resent you for all the past things, I’ve married you, which means I will no longer pursue past mistakes. You don’t need to hold on to the past so tightly, it has no benefit, it will only worsen our relationship and complicate things. All I want is to stay here peacefully, stay by my child, and I hope you give me this chance, don’t keep making things difficult for me, opposing me every step of the way.”

Zhang Zhentian bowed his head to his wife’s words because he finally realized that nothing he had done was right. His wife was always so sensible, and what was all he did worth? This time he almost completely lost his father; although he cared so much about his own life, why did he act without thinking, always seeing everything so simply, and not caring about their thoughts?

Blame it on being too arbitrary, time and again, without considering whether others could bear such a blow. What he wanted was just a spontaneous decision made in the heat of the moment, which he immediately regretted in hindsight, but by then it was too late, no one would always wait for him to admit his mistakes. Even if he did admit, others might not necessarily forgive him.

”Xia Jing, I’m sorry, I understand now. I feel that nothing I used to do was right. Now all I want is a stable life. I will never again easily offer my life to others because life is, you only have one life, and under no circumstances should you make fun of it. If you did, imagine how painful it would be for your family, especially dad. As you said, could you stand to see a white-haired person send off a black-haired one?

If that happens, how painful would it be for those people? I am his son, yet I can only leave his inner world in this way. How could he possibly understand, how could he possibly be happy? For father, all he wants is for his son to live a stable life and stay by his side, to talk with him, to come home and see him there is a kind of happiness, a kind of comfort. But if I truly leave this world, what would my father have to say? Not seeing his own child would leave him in even more torment?”

”I’m glad you’ve realized. If you keep going like this, I really wouldn’t know how to talk to you.

Your thinking is unbelievably slower than everyone else’s. Others immediately admit their mistakes for what they do, but you don’t have time to react and still think your decisions are correct. But what about the facts? The fact is, everything you did was wrong. You never considered what others thought at the time, and now you still hesitate to sincerely apologize to your father, still thinking he should worry about you there?

Wherever and whenever parents cannot but care whether their children live or die. Even if their children make mistakes, parents will always care primarily about how their children are living!”

Many things become smooth once you’ve taken the first step. If you always remain entangled in place, what you get in exchange could simply be pain.