My Alleged Husband

Chapter 723: Chapter 693 Late Night _1

Life is just like that, making one lose their dearest things over and over again before finally realizing how much they truly cared about them. At the time of possession, not a single person thought about what the outcome would be, why is everyone so selfish, disregarding others’ comfort for their own thoughts?

In a lifetime, one encounters significant and abundant matters, but ultimately, everyone only receives pain. Some people give their all over and over again for themselves, but no one knows what their life has actually been like.

Has anyone contemplated what their life has been like throughout their years, repeatedly tormented by agony? Who has considered how they should bear it all, the fatal blows, the freshest of pains? Who knows? During the day, one numbs themselves with work, but what about the deep of night? The yearning in one’s heart grows ever deeper, until eventually they become just a walking corpse, no longer knowing what they deserve, with no one aware of what kind of end they will face in their lifetime.

Perhaps such is life—enduring all the hardship only to eventually experience love and separation. But does one really know what they have received in their lifetime? People steam in agony again and again, repeatedly experiencing so much pain. Who knows what kind of harm one will receive? Such is everyone’s life, yet ultimately, because of one’s own actions, one falls into the most painful abyss of suffering, unable to extricate oneself. Everyone is like this, but who knows what kind of life they really want to achieve contentment?

Many hearts are naturally greedy. Some, for their personal gains, will stop at nothing to harm those they hold dearest, yet others are willing to sacrifice everything repeatedly for the happiness of those they cherish most.

Zhang Zhentian really didn’t know how to persuade his wife. He was aware that she had truly fallen into an abyss of suffering and could no longer pull herself out, and no one could save her. He kept waking up from nightmares repeatedly in the dead of night. She made decisions about her life over and over again, hurting herself just in the hopes of that person in her heart turning back to glance at her, to stay by her side even if just for a day. Are hearts really so fragile? Why can’t hearts withstand the erosion of time? Time changes everything, rendering it all so trivial, so fragile.

Xia Jing also understood what was in Zhang Zhentian’s heart. After all these years of sharing a bed as husband and wife, how could there be no mutual understanding? Without the most basic knowledge of each other, what meaning is left in living together for so many years? Even if not united by love, the companionship of so many years inevitably leads to understanding. Often the person who knows you best is not your friend but your enemy. You might not understand yourself, but do you realize how well those around you do? They spend half a lifetime just to understand you, so that one day they can strike you down and make you utterly collapse. Yet you don’t realize that their profound knowledge of you may ultimately be what helps you. One cannot always exchange a heart for a heart; only when we are repeatedly hurt and tortured do we realize that all of it amounts to nothing.

”Xia Jing, maybe you can’t hear a word I’m saying right now, but I hope you know, as your husband, I would never hurt you.

All the genuine love I’ve shown you over the years, have you not felt even a bit of it? The sacrifices I’ve made for you, do you not feel them at all?”

”Truly, the greatest pain in the world is to watch helplessly as your loved ones, one by one, leave you behind. The agony of having those you love abandon you one after the other while you stand there, powerless. No one understands the pain in my heart over the years. All of you think I act selfishly, just concerned with my own thoughts and feelings, disregarding everyone’s opinions. But do you know how it feels when you face me over and over again, how my heart aches when you accuse me time and again? I too yearn for a happy life, but I am helpless! I’ve given so much through the years, but what about me? What have I received? I’ve given everything, but all I got in return was his indifference. Do you know how speechless that makes me feel inside? So tired, so very tired. Sometimes I wish to close my eyes and never wake up, to fall into eternal rest at that moment, so I would never have to bother with a happy life. I just want to sleep forever and never wake up, but when I open my eyes again, I find myself in utter darkness, unable to see my own hand. Do you know that darkness? That emptiness? No one knows!”

”You always think your suffering is the greatest in the world, as if no one else could ever understand what you’ve been through. But do you know, there are so many others who have suffered the same pain? Who hasn’t gone through it? Who hasn’t been honed by suffering over and over again? Despite it all eventually leaving one covered in scars, devoid of happiness, do you know how much I care, how much I wish you could stay by my side? Just like you yearn for your beloved to stay with you, I too share the same longing. The loneliness and solitude of the dark night, feeling my way in the blackness, the sense of defeat—it repeatedly shatters my heart...”