My Alleged Husband

Chapter 708: Chapter 678 Life_1

Zhang Zhentian didn’t want to drive his wife into a corner step by step, but as a man, there were some things he truly couldn’t be indifferent about. He knew full well how much his wife loved another man, and he could only silently watch as she loved someone else, powerless to make her sincerely want to spend her life with him. Perhaps this was the greatest failure a man could experience.

”Xia Jing, as your husband, I don’t want to say anything else right now. I just want to ask you one question, and I hope you can answer me honestly. What do I really mean to you in your heart? What have these decades of companionship meant to you? Or have you merely treated me as a toy to harbor your nostalgia, a plaything? Do you know how much I’ve loved you all these years, how I’ve been willing to do anything for you, going to any length to give you what you wanted? Why would you choose to say such things to hurt me in the end? Do you really hate me that much in your eyes? Can’t you even give me the slightest bit of sincere treatment without relentlessly wounding me, leaving me battered and bruised, before you can feel happy inside?”

”Zhentian, I really didn’t mean it that way. I never thought of using such things to hurt you. I know how much you love me, and I understand how much I’ve cared for you over the years. But do you know that the yearning in one’s heart can’t be replaced by anything? The person I long for is not by my side right now, and yet I can only watch helplessly as the person I don’t love sacrifices everything for me time and time again—how is that not torture for me? I, too, hope that you can live a happy and peaceful life, but some things are beyond my control. Affection isn’t something I can forget whenever I wish to. His place in my heart over these years cannot be shaken by anyone! I am not heartless. When I see the person I do not love sacrificing everything for me, my heart hurts and I feel sorrow. I don’t want those I don’t love to sacrifice so much for someone like me who isn’t worthy of their love. Many times, I’ve really wanted to tell you that I’m truly sorry, but there are some things I can’t tell you. Because if I do, it will lead to a different outcome. I fear loss. I’ve already lost so much. And if I lose you, if I lose my family, then what would be left for me in this life?”

”Perhaps you think I’m being incredibly selfish, but who doesn’t act selfishly at least once in their lifetime? I could have supported you, hidden my feelings for him deep inside my heart, even while being with my own husband. I would never forget him. I buried my yearning for him forever in my heart, a longing that would remain unchanged wherever I went, whatever I did. That yearning has taken root deep inside me, etched onto my bones, and cannot be discarded in this lifetime. Maybe in your eyes, all this doesn’t justify my actions, but do you understand what it’s like to love someone to the marrow of your bones? If I don’t see him for a day, I pine for him incessantly, always hoping that he might send a message back. Every day, I check my phone frequently to see if he has sent a message, and it’s been so hard for me to endure for so long!

”Have you ever considered how I’ve managed to survive these days and nights—a countless number of days and nights? Every day, I wrestle with agony. I fear that ultimately, I’ll lose everything. I just want to be able to hold on to the life I desire, securely and steadily!

”Perhaps in your eyes, none of this seems important. Perhaps you don’t think it’s all that significant, but there are certain things within me that I simply can’t let go of. I’ve seen my dearest leave me behind, and although I reach out time and again to grasp onto my beloved, I am left grasping at thin air, alone in this abyss of pain. I am utterly desperate, a despair you have never experienced and cannot understand. This despair brings me profound pain. Maybe your lives always seem glamorous, with many laurels resting upon your heads. You were born with a silver spoon and had it easy. But me? I had only my efforts to rely on, climbing one step at a time, only to be cruelly toppled just as I neared life’s peak, forced to start all over again. Which of you has ever experienced such disappointment and pain? None of you! You’ve always felt that everything you want in life will easily be handed to you, but you forget that all of it still requires your own effort to truly obtain in the end!”

”I understand that after I tell you all this today, you will have your own opinions about me. But some things, I truly have no way of explaining to you. I have already made this decision, and now the most important thing I can do is to settle for this life. I simply cannot forget him; I’ve buried him deeply in my heart. No matter when or where he is, no matter whether he settles down or remembers me in the end, I will always love him. This love, I will carry with me until death, taking it into my coffin, keeping it forever in my heart. Only then will I realize that the person I loved the most has finally accompanied me into the grave!”

”Because my love for him has followed me into the grave!”

”Everyone chooses different paths in their hearts. Everyone eventually chooses a different outcome for their lives. My life was destined to be this way; I don’t want anyone to end up lamenting their own powerlessness, to have been incapable of holding onto the person they loved the most!”

”Yes, life is full of bumps and scrapes. No one’s life is smooth sailing. The path one chooses ultimately leads to the corresponding result—it’s all a cycle of cause and effect!

”Perhaps in your eyes, my life could have been perfect because of your presence. But do you understand that by appearing, you have truly disrupted my entire life...”