My Alleged Husband

Chapter 704: Chapter 674: Anger_1

Xia Jing knew that the things she was doing now were something her husband might never be able to understand or forgive for the rest of his life.

She had gone too far in her life, time and time again hurting the trust her husband had in her, hurting the love all her relatives had for her.

Sometimes she couldn’t even understand such things herself, and if they were to happen to her, she might even do something more outrageous. Yet, she had pushed the pain onto others over and over again. Why was she so selfish? Couldn’t she learn to empathize with the psychological pressure others had to endure? Why was every action she took so self-centered? If she could learn to look ahead and consider the kind of pressure others were bearing in their hearts, then maybe she wouldn’t keep making mistakes that hurt others, making everyone see what she had become. What should she do to make everything go back to how it was at the beginning? Was she destined to keep making mistakes forever? Did she really have to let the heavens torment her with suffering time and time again?

When Zhang Zhentian heard his wife talk about those things, he was truly angry. He had never expected the wife he loved deeply to have another man on her mind, a truth so unfair to him. He could forsake everything for this woman before him, even the prestige and reputation of his family and his father’s hard-earned legacy of a century, but he was willing to cast it all aside for his wife. Why did he have to face such a cruel reality?

He felt that even if his wife did not love him, there was no need to tell him these things. If she had kept him in the dark for his entire life, at least he would have been able to live a short and happy life. Why make him so sad? Why push him towards the abyss of pain again and again? In his wife’s eyes, what had he become?

”Xia Jing, I don’t want to say anything to you right now, I just want to ask you one question: in your heart, is it me or your first love who is better? I hope that at this moment, you will tell me the truth about everything, without hiding anything from me. Otherwise, I truly will not be able to forgive you for the rest of my life. You know there are things that are taboos for men, and no man can tolerate his wife still thinking about another man, especially one she has not forgotten over the years. If you tell me the truth, it is possible that I will choose not to deal with you for the rest of my life, or it may lead to the end of our marriage. I hope you will think carefully before you speak,” he said.

With a sigh, Xia Jing knew that her husband was giving her a way out, a chance for him to step down. He didn’t believe a single word she said because he was afraid it was all true. Such a reality would be a tremendous blow to him; his dearly loved wife was fixated on another man, an intolerable thought for a husband. If word got out, what would others think of him? Maybe she had never really considered the feelings of her husband. Why was she so selfish? Could she really never learn to consider what others went through in their lives? And were all those experiences caused by her actions?

”Zhentian, I’m sorry, I must admit I truly, truly love my first love. No matter when or where, he is the most extraordinary person in my heart, and my love for him will never change,” she said.

”I feel that things have come to such a point that there’s no need for me to deceive you anymore. If I continue to lie, I would just be irresponsible. I don’t want our future life to become ugly. I’ve always wanted to live happily, always thinking that I could grow up carefree under your protection, but I forgot that you too are human, you’ve given me everything, and in the end, all I can do is hurt you. It’s hard for me too, but some things are out of my control. The more I face this outcome, the more I realize that some things are truly destined, no matter how I try to change it, there’s nothing I can do about it.

Now that I can honestly tell you everything, it proves that I no longer harbor any illusions of continuing with you. If you choose to divorce me, I have no complaints. I’ve hidden these things deep inside me, and every time I see you forsaking everything for me, my heart aches terribly. I’m not heartless. I am moved by your sacrifices for me, and I feel guilty. Being with you while thinking of another man is indeed unfair to you, and you cannot accept such a thing. Many times I have been really selfish, but I’m helpless. All I want is the happiness in my heart, yet I forget that you need my utmost care. You are my husband, and often I just expect you to understand me, but I forget you need my understanding too. Time and time again, I see you eager to go home, yet because of me, you stay outside with me, never returning. Do you think my heart feels nothing? Watching your eager eyes to return home, but ultimately you stay because of me, and that disappointed and dejected look, it really upsets me. I don’t know what decision would be the best for you. Every action I take ultimately hurts the people who love me the most. I really don’t understand what purpose my life serves.”

”I’m not afraid to tell you, hearing those words made me truly angry!”