My Alleged Husband

Chapter 702: Chapter 672: Nightmare_1

Zhang Yichen saw his biological mother becoming so anxious every day, he felt quite sorry for her. No matter how much harm his mother had once inflicted upon him, his mother had always loved him. There was not a mother in the world who did not love her child. It was just that she chose the wrong path, and he knew she now regretted it. So why should he keep holding onto the past so tightly? Revealing the past torments everyone, trapping each within an eternal struggle with pain. If that were the case, wouldn’t he also lose the goodness at the core of his heart? He never wanted these things to happen in his family, because everyone thinks differently.

”Grandpa, there are some things we don’t need to dwell on like before. As long as Mom can come back, as long as our family can be reunited, as long as everyone can live happily, what harm is there? Let the past be completely washed away by time. Maybe time truly is the best medicine, able to heal the wounds in everyone’s heart!”

Now that our family has finally reunited, why should we let unhappy events ruin our chance at happiness? We’ve already paid too much, too painful a price that no one else can settle for us. Each time it’s we who suffer. We should learn to look forward and forget past displeasures. To have my mom and dad back home so they can be together forever, wouldn’t it be better to return to our previous happy life?”

Old Master Zhang felt his grandson made a lot of sense. He also thought that there were things he shouldn’t probe into as he had before. If one clings to past matters, then no one can truly live happily ever after. Perhaps it was time for him to open his heart, to treat everyone around him kindly. Why should he repeatedly hurt them with his actions? Life was hard on everyone; no one lived easily, each struggling through pain.

”Maybe you’re right; I’ve held onto too many things. Perhaps, I really should let go of those unhappy memories and seriously consider whether I’ve been wrong all along. It’s time to let go and for them to be together without me clutching at the past. But that doesn’t mean I can truly forget everything. Everyone has their little secrets, which I can understand. But to repeatedly disrespect one’s husband is something I will never tolerate, after all, he’s my own son!”

”You might think it’s okay to forget the past, but I cannot. You might all believe that time is a healer that makes you forget all the pain you’ve suffered, but time is truly useless. It cannot change the fact that you’ve been hurt; it only intensifies the pain in your heart again and again. Time is the most terrifying killer, repeatedly pushing you into dead ends, making it impossible for you to turn your life around, leaving you wailing and struggling in agony. It gives you no chance to turn your life around because time knows too well that once you do, it loses the ability to keep you down!”

”Perhaps I shouldn’t complain about the heavens’ unfairness toward me because the heavens are actually fair. They give you something but also make you lose something you dearly love. But I will never be grateful to the heavens because the pain they’ve made me endure cannot be erased in this lifetime. Time and again, I reflect on every path I once chose. My only true regret is losing her. I’ve never regretted any decision except for my mistakes that caused me to lose her, the greatest pain in my life. It’s a pain impossible to forget, carved deep into my bones. I lost the person I loved most due to my wrong choices, my wrong decisions, and there’s no way to make amends for any of the mistakes I’ve made!”

No matter if I spend this life in happiness or in the abyss of suffering, it means nothing to me. Time after time, I wake up from nightmares. Do you understand what kind of nightmares? Time and again, I dream he looks at my hands and leaves me behind. Who could understand the torment inside me? When I wake from these nightmares, I find no one around to help me. My world is devoid of anyone but me, and I remain alone in the dark, where you can’t see your hand in front of you. Who can understand such anguish? Perhaps you can’t understand that kind of pain, but I have no way to explain it to you. I can only endure over and over again through sheer will because I cannot fall. I must spend all my time missing him, accepting the punishment the heavens have dealt me. Only by eternally suffering can I know just how wrong my actions have been—I, who hurt the person who loved me most!”

Zhang Yichen decided not to say anything more. He knew his mother was now deeply mired and unable to extricate herself, nightmare after nightmare turning her into a fearsome person. His mother had been so ravaged by pain. He understood her anguish over the years and would no longer harbor resentment towards her as before. Every day she lived was agony, being with someone she didn’t love, having lost the man she loved most. What kind of mental torture was that? What kind of resolve had sustained her to this day? Should he really continue to resent her, denying her any comfort for the rest of her life?

”It’s getting late, let’s not talk about these things anymore. Everyone should head back to their rooms and rest early...”