World’s Cutest Alchemist

“Bouncy~ Bouncy~ Bounce~” I sang as I threw the empty glass potion bottle on the ground, watching as it sprung back up to me.

I repeated this over and over again, catching the bottle each time before bouncing it on the wooden floor once again.

In my hands was a beta version of the Elasticity potion, name pending.

For the past few days, I’ve been working relentlessly on this potion—experimenting, theorizing, tuning….

My first attempt at making this potion failed. As did the second and third…And so on.

Only after my 46th attempt, did I get a working potion. And that was on day 3.

After that, things still didn’t exactly proceed smoothly, causing me to lose hours of sleep. Who knew that changing the laws of physics with a potion would be so hard?

But, it was all worth it. On the 5th day of creation, I finally succeeded. I could’ve got it done on day 4, but I took that day as a day of rest and hung out at Mouse’s place.

Catching the glass bottle as it bounced up to me, I threw it at the floor once again—BREAK!

The bottle shattered, glass exploding all over the floor.

“Mm…Five minutes.”

That was the duration and limit I’ve reached so far. Using a whole bottle only allowed five minutes of elasticity—or bouncing.

I didn’t think I’d get any better than that. Especially not in an affordable budget.

Besides the main effect of the potion itself, I also implemented a ‘security measure’ for the first time. I didn’t want people knowing how this potion was made. It was fine for those crude buff potions, and even the mana potion since almost everyone can easily learn how to make those.

But these…These were mine.

Sure, I might find another potion like these from those alchemy misters on the gallery. But here, on Earth, the closest thing I found were ricochet potions.

That’s not to say other alchemists couldn’t make a similar potion if they tried. Especially if they had a base to go off of and some hints—my potion—but that’s exactly why I implemented security measures.

So that they wouldn’t get hints.

My security measures included fake materials into the potion that don’t effect how the potion works but can ruin the potion if implemented incorrectly. These were materials that sounded plausible and could be found by people who analyzed my potion.

But that wasn’t enough. Anyone with a bit of research could easily pick out false materials in a potion. So, I also included materials that sounded fake but were real in the potion.

This should be enough for most, but I wanted just one more measure. So, I mixed everything up.

Using my mana, I scrambled the properties of the potion, mixing them around inside so they—in layman’s terms—look like a bunch of jumbled wires tied together.

So now, if people wanted to reverse-engineer my potion, they’d have to solve an annoying puzzle.

This was another benefit of cauldrons, they can help mask your potions, making them harder to reverse-engineer. Unfortunately, I’m broke.

I stared at the blue-green potion in my hands.

Even though I made it myself…This really is a weird potion.

The way it works is when you pour the liquid on anything, the liquid absorbs itself into the closest mass—the one it’s touching—and overrules that object’s property, making the primary one its own.

So, if I pour the potion on the floor, wherever it’s touching will have its property priority lowered and the potion’s property working instead.

I can’t say replaced, since it’s not replacing the property just overpowering it for a bit. After five minutes, the original property basically devours and destroys the potion’s.

In other words, my potion is a weakling!

It has no strength and can’t destroy or replace other properties and can only defend itself, dying after five minutes.

If this was a character in a game, I’d reroll instantly. Sounds like some kind of niche novel title.

“But it’s okay! I still love you, no matter what anyone else says about you.”

There were a lot of other trials and tribulations that came with creating the potion. Such as, what would happen if someone drank it?

I had no clue! And I wasn’t going to test it.

What if my insides become rubbery and stop working!? I don’t wear a straw-hat, I’ll just die!

That was easily solved by asking the gallery though. Those guys tested it out for me, not on themselves, but on various things they fed the potion.

Apparently nothing bad really happens as your body is stronger than my potion’s properties. That’s why pouring it on yourself doesn’t make you a rubber-rubber man either.

Also, they told me that the potion has a sweet taste? Which was odd. I didn’t add any flavor-enhancing or flavor-changing materials to it since it wasn’t a potion planned to be drank. It seems, I just—unintendedly—have a habit of making potions taste sweet.

Maybe it’s all the strawberries I’ve been eating? Well, whatever the case, I don’t mind.

The last thing I had to do was decide a name for it.

Of course, there’s the boring ‘Elasticity Potion’ that describes it well and keeps it sort and simple is straight to to point.

But who wants that nowadays!?

You gotta keep up with the times! Nowadays, all the rage is naming things in a convoluted manner.

For example: ‘Substantial Returning Boundless Wall Hitter Potion’! Or ‘Deforming Rebounding Springiness Potion’!

“Hehe…Just kidding.”

Truth be told, I already had a name set in mind. One that’s direct and easily understandable, while also being funny.

I’m not talking about ‘Ah, that’s a funny name’ kind of funny. But about the situations that will arise when people need to refer to the potion.

The ‘Bouncy Bouncy Potion’.

Alone, you’d probably think that it’s uncreative and a child could come up with a better name.

But, you’re not seeing the vision.

The future.

Picture this.

A party of awakeners are in a gate or something. Let’s say they’re raiding it with another party since it’s a high-grade gate.

The awakeners, already filled with tension search through the gate before eventually stumbling into an empty room. At first glance, it’s nothing special—just another room to walk through.

There isn’t much talking between the groups as the mood is set, everyone is wary and focused. Suddenly, the group hears a clicking noise and slowly, holes start to open in the previously empty walls and ceiling.

Just as they turn to look…

Boom! Monsters attack.

They’re swarmed by an army of monsters, being forced to retreat back into the hall from which they came.

Thinking quick on his feet, the most experienced of the group pull out a potion—A blue-green potion. Turning around, he splashes the liquid all over the path.

Confused, the other members look at him but are too busy running to question.

Just as the monsters are about to reach them, one of them suddenly loses their footing, tripping and falling to the floor.

The other monsters aren’t far behind, each of them thrown off by the sudden bounce in an otherwise flat floor. They start to pile on top of each other and the group sees this.

They know this is their moment—their chance! Turning around, they quickly start dispatching the fallen monsters before they can get up.

After a hard fought battle with countless injuries they pull through and wipe out the monsters.

Everyone is tired, the mood is serious, people almost die.

After a few moments of silence, to try and shift the atmosphere, one of the people decides to ask about that potion they used earlier.

Confused at first, a serious-looking man with a scarred face replies, “Which one? The healing one? It’s just one I bought from the exchange—from Raccoon, the greatest(cutest) alchemist to ever grace Earth.”

“No, not that one. I know of Raccoon’s greatness(cuteness) and skills. The other one,” The man replies, “The one that tripped the monsters.”

“…”

A moment of silence wafts through the air as everyone focuses their attention on the scarred man.

“…tion…” A mumble comes out.

“Huh? Could you say that again? I didn’t hear you.”

“…potion.”

“One more time?”

“…The bouncy bouncy potion.” He says with an embarrassed tone.

The group all just stare at him for what feels like eternity.

“Hehehe!” I burst out giggling at my imagination. “Or what if the serious guy says it without any embarrassment or hesitation and his party members are the one’s embarrassed?!”

Yes, that example may be a little embellished, but similar scenarios may occur!

“Hehe…” That sole thought made everything worth it.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t sell it just yet though. There were plenty of after-creation things I had to get done.

Like marketing…More testing…Making a batch recipe…

“Haah…” I sighed, so much work.

For marketing, I was pretty sure just listing the potion would make people buy it. However, that’s not what I wanted. I wanted people to know what the potion did and want it for that and not just because I made it.

So, I planned to record a small video—a trailer of sorts—to build up hype.

For testing, I needed to know a lot more things about the potion. Such as how they worked with weapons, or naturally bouncy objects. I was excited to test what would happen if I applied the potion to a rubber ball.

As for the batch recipe…Just thinking of it is causing me mental damage. That darn pot just makes everything ten times more difficult.

Batch recipes were basically just adding more of the same ingredients and working them at the same time.

Stretching my creaking body, I decided to just get to work.

If I do this properly, couldn’t I get two objectives done at the same time…?

…

It has been a couple days since Raccoon cleared the fourth floor, and even more since her last Tawer post.

People had naturally expected for Raccoon to make some kind of statement after she cleared the fourth floor. After all, wasn’t that why she made a Tawer in the first place? To start promoting herself and step into the limelight?

But after her last post, which was just a reply to someone asking them to ‘Guess!’, it’s been radio silent.

Just as the hype was starting to die down, a new notification sent ripples through interested parties.

A certain government agent, Nero, immediately clicked onto the post.

His eyes widened in surprised. It wasn’t a regular post, but a video! Was Raccoon finally revealing herself? Could he finally stop working overtime?!

With hope in his eyes and anticipation in his heart, he pressed play.

The video started by showing a blank wall and a wooden floor.

A moment later, from behind the camera, small hands appeared in frame and waved at the camera. She posed bunny ears, a fox face, and a heart with her fingers before once again all that was left was the blank wall and floor.

“…What is this? A joke?” Nero muttered, the hope from his eyes starting to fade. Nevertheless, he continued watching.

After a few moments, the hands reappeared, but this time holding an empty bottle.

Curious, Nero tilted his head, wondering where this was going.

It didn’t take long for him to be taken aback.

In the video, the bottle was thrown at the wall and instantly shattered, spraying glass everywhere.

“What?” An instinctive voice came from Nero’s mouth.

The video didn’t give him time to understand what was going on before the hands reappeared with another glass bottle, this time there were two. One was empty and the other filled with a blue-green liquid.

She clanked the bottles together, letting the sound echo for a moment before pouring the liquid onto empty glass bottle.

“A potion?” Nero realized.

After all the liquid was poured onto the bottle, she threw the bottle at the wall.

But this time, it didn’t shatter. Rather, it bounced off the wall like a ball. The hands caught the bottle, showcasing it in front of the camera for a little before throwing the bottle again, this time at the floor.

The bottle bounced off the floor, hitting the wall, bouncing off that too before flying somewhere off screen.

“She made the glass…springy?” Nero mumbled in surprise.

But the video wasn’t done.

Next, the hands reappeared. Not with glass bottles, but with a dagger and cardboard.

“Hm…” Nero was fully invested in the video, watching with intrigue.

She stabbed the piece of cardboard with the dagger, showing it clearly penetrate the cardboard.

“Don’t tell me…” Nero started to mutter, a thought coming to mind.

Leaving the dagger on screen, the other hand brought the same potion from earlier. She poured the liquid onto the blade of the dagger.

Nero didn’t realize it before, but the strange thing was there was no excess liquid. In fact, it seems to absorb itself into the blade as if it were a sponge.

The hand brought back the piece of cardboard and Nero watched with anticipation.

Stabbing the piece of cardboard, the dagger bent as if it were a toy rubber knife. The same one that just easily pierced through the cardboard earlier could barely leave a dent now.

“That’s possible?!” Nero said in surprise.

But the video didn’t explain or even wait.

Next, the hands brought in another potion and dagger. She poured the liquid again, not on the blade, but the handle.

She showed the dagger pierce a piece of cardboard before tossing the dagger handle-down onto the floor. The dagger bounced like a ball before landing on its side.

“Hm…That could prove useful in combat scenarios.” Nero quickly thought.

The hands closed, lifting only a single finger—her pointer—signifying there was one more.

A few moments later, the hands appeared back on screen. This time, one held a potion, the other a rubber ball, like the ones you’d see at the store.

“Oh! How would that work? Does it become more bouncy?” Nero leaned forward, his full focus on the next showcase.

First, Raccoon showed the ball bouncing normally, like any regular bouncy ball. After a few bounces, she caught it before pouring the potion onto the ball. Like the others, the ball sucked up and absorbed all the liquid from the potion.

With her now free hand, Raccoon signaled a countdown starting from three and showed that she was about to bounce it.

Three fingers turned to two.

“3…2…”

Two fingers turned to one.

Raccoon motioned and just as she was about to throw the ball on the ground, the video ended.

“…What?”

“No…What?”

“Why did the video cut off?”

“Ms. Raccoon? Did you forget to upload the rest of the video?”

Just as Nero was about to fall into distress, another post appeared.

“Ah! Of course, there simply wasn’t enough space. So she uploaded it in two parts.”

But, the new post wasn’t a video.

It was simple text.

[Raccoon: New potion! Now introducing the ‘Bouncy Bouncy Potion’! The potion that makes all things bouncy! The first batch will be listed in a couple days, don’t worry though, mana potions aren’t going anywhere.

Did you enjoy the video? It was really fun to make! Especially when I applied the potion to a bouncy ball? That was super fun!!]