World’s Cutest Alchemist

Preparations were underway. I had already confirmed online that floor 3 has the same number of goblins as floor 2. The only difference is these goblins will now have different weapons, or classes.

It’s so simple, is the tower always this easy? Classes or not, it doesn’t matter to the power of explosions.

At least for the first ten floors. I doubt anything can even approach me on these ‘tutorial’ floors.

“Let’s see…Potions? Check. Explosions? Double check. Outfit? Easy check.” I nodded, “All good to go!”

After finishing marking off my mental checklist, I sent Mouse a text.

[Me: Going now! Talk to you later!]

[Me: (Waving raccoon icon)]

[Luna: Stay safe and keep to the back lines!]

[Luna: (Waving mouse icon)]

I don’t exactly understand what she means by ‘Stick to the back lines’, but I get the sentiment. Stay away from the monsters, right?

What could it be otherwise?

Shrugging, I took a sip of water before pulling up the menu.

[Would you like to enter the tower?]

[You have reached the limit of floor clears for Floor 2, entering will bring you to Floor 3.]

[Confirm?]

[Y/N]

[Current Floor: 2]

‘Yes’

[Entering Floor 3]

[We wish you luck.]

A familiar sight entered my view. The luscious plains of grass expanded for miles on end. Behind, the great forest lay, filled with nature and materials.

And my personal favorite part of this environment—Rocky.

“Hehe!” I giggled, happily running up to Rocky.

It’s funny, it feels like just yesterday where I was terrified to even enter the tower. Now, I’m happy to see my inanimate friend.

They say adaptation is a scary thing, but I love it.

Even if this peace and calm won’t last, at least for the first 10 floors I can rest easy.

Hugging Rocky, I felt it’s warmth. The sun hit it at just the right spot, so it wasn’t too hot but like a comfortable heating blanket.

Though, I am a little curious on how that works. If the floor is generated on entrance, there shouldn’t be enough time for Rocky to heat up. Perhaps it’s procedural?

Whatever, me no need to think about confusing stuff!

“Hehe.”

After finishing our reunion, I headed to the goblins spawn.

Pouring a gluetrap potion around their starting location, I walked away and hid behind a nearby rock. Unfortunately, this one wasn’t Rocky, but its still been a reliable back to hide behind.

I no longer drank buff potions, I simply didn’t need them. Instead, I just kept them in my pouch for emergencies.

I waited for the timer to run down and soon enough…

Ten hideous green beings materialized into existence. But, unlike their usual appearance with wooden spears and clubs, they held different weapons.

One had a crude-looking bow that looked like it could snap if you pulled the string too hard.

Another had a circular wooden shield like an ancient gladiator. In its other hand held a small iron dagger.

The tallest one wore a stupid-looking bucket helmet. It wouldn’t be odd for drool to leak from its mouth at any moment.

And the scariest looking one had an ‘old-man’ sort of look—a hunched back leaning over a wooden cane or staff. A long, dirty and unkempt gray beard sat on its pointed chin. Instead of the usual dirty, brown loincloth, this old goblin wore a rugged robe with a hood covering its head.

Mage goblin? I wondered. Could a goblin actually use magic?

Before I had time to think about it longer, the bow goblin looked around like a scout. Soon, it saw me, pointed at me, spoke in goblin tongue, and charged.

The gladiator goblin led the charge, followed by the stupid-looking one. The others weren’t far behind, chasing just after the leading goblins.

The old man goblin also began coming towards me, except it was walking instead of running.

I tensed up a little seeing all these different kinds of goblins come at me.

Perhaps, I wasn’t as fearless as I thought.

I audibly gulped as I wondered if it was too late to drink my buff potions.

But, it was a needless worry. Just a few seconds later the gladiator goblin got stuck and fell face first into the glue. The dumb goblin followed as did the rest. Each and every one of them got trapped in the potion.

The only concern was the old man goblin who was following behind them, but that was needless. As if it didn’t even register the other goblins, it simply walked forward and stepped onto the glue. It tried to lift its cane but it wouldn’t move no longer.

It’d be a pitiful sight if they weren’t enemies.

Uncapping a bottle of denomyl liquid, I approached the trapped goblins and threw it at the gluetrap before booking it behind a nearby rock.

“Hup!”

I had perfected the strategy and optimized(?) the location for their spawn points and where to hide after throwing the potion.

BOOM!

[Floor Cleared!]

[Time Taken: 0:17]

[You have set a record for your class!]

[Rewards are calculating.]

[Leaderboard has updated.]

~~~

[Floor 3 Leaderboard]

[#1: Anonymous: 0:04 (Swordsman)]

[#2: Han-bul: 0:11 (Rune Mage)]

[#3: Lightning Lord: 0:13 (Mage)]

[#4: Samurai: 0:15 (Samurai)]

[#5: Eel Love: 0:16 (Mage)]

[#6: Raccoon: 0:17 (Alchemist)]

[#7: Tsuki: 0:20 (Archer)]

[#8: TowerClimber: 0:24 (Explorer)]

[#9: Flame Queen: 0:29 (Mage)]

[#10: Loving Buddha: 0:30 (Monk)]

~~~

“Hehe!” I jumped for joy at the notification.

I did it! Once again, I prove the I am the greatest(cutest) alchemist to ever touch the face of this earth!

Explosions are OP!

Back at the explosion sight, not even a trace of blood remained.

I can already imagine the gallery’s reaction.

“Raccoon is the alchemy-god’s avatar!”

“Raccoon is the savior of alchemy!”

“Raccoon did it once again!”

“Raccoon proves that she is not a one-hit wonder!”

“Hehe!”

[Rewards have been calculated.]

[You have gained 3 Gold Skill Tokens!]

[Skill Tokens 5/10 (5 Gold)]

[You have received 3,000 points.]

My eyes widened at the rewards.

“Three!” My lips curled to an even brighter smile.

I was halfway to getting a new skill. I was excited, just what kind of skill would I get?

If I keep getting gold tokens, there’s a 100% chance of getting a gold grade skill! My [Plant Growth] skill is only a bronze-grade skill and I use it all the time!

Just what would a gold grade alchemy skill be used for? What if it perfectly auto-harvests materials for me!? What if it’s a radar that leads me to rare materials?! Could it prepare materials for me?

“Hehe…” As I was lost in delusion, a notification brought me out of my stupor.

[Would you like to enter the next floor? Y/N]

[Time Remaining on floor: 57:22]

“Ah, right! Materials! I need to go harvest!”

I quickly ran to the forest and begun my search.

…

[They did it again, Raccoon clears the 3rd floor with a time of 0:17]

[Raccoon is on a roll, just how far will they go?]

[Alchemy >>>> All Other Production Classes]

[The Little Bomber strikes again!]

[Raccoon’s Floor 3 Breakdown]

[Little Bomber or uncontrolled terrorist?]

[How far do you think Raccoon will go?]

Author: xx

Raccoon has just cleared the third floor of the tower. She still seems to be alone, but it seems to be working out for her, those explosions really pack a punch. Did you see how that iron dagger was sent flying to Narnia?

Currently, they spend around two weeks before each floor clear. In between they sell potions which sell out within minutes (though there hasn’t been a listing for the past few days, wonder what’s up with that?) As of now, they’re one of the most famous alchemists for several reasons:

* No guild

* No known identity

* Good potion quality for the price

* Bombs

* She’s cute

So, how far do you think Raccoon, the Little Bomber, will go?

→ [My bets on Floor 4 max. If they can clear floor 5, I’d be surprised.]

→ [Author tried to sneak in point 5.]

↳ [Haven’t you watched the first floor clear? It’s 100% a valid point.]

↳ [Yeah, I know, I completely agree lol]

→ [Since when is she called ‘Little Bomber’?]

↳ [Started as a meme nickname a few days ago, but it kind of fits so people have actually started using that as her title.]

↳ [Oh wow, I like it.]

↳ [My terrorist can’t be this cute?!]

→ [As most others said, Floor 4 is the max. She’d be completely useless on floor 5 other than pre-floor buffs. As long as she stays solo, she’ll never clear Floor 5.]

…

After I finished my material collecting, the time ran out and I was back in my bathroom. My hands always got covered in dirt after a floor clear.

I quickly turned on the shower and lay in the bath.

“Hehe.” I was quite happy.

Only good things seemed to be happening today.

I cleared a new floor, collected a rare material for some nice points, and I get to brag to Mouse!

Thinking of it just made me happy.

I decided to review the clear video.

“Hm…Ah, that’s where the dagger went?” I mumbled, watching as the dagger flew to the sun.

“What was up with that old man goblin though?” I wondered. “Can it actually cast magic? Or is it just for appearances?”

When in question, just ask!

Searching online, I found out that instead of magic, they actually use shamanism—curses and the like.

“Wow…Scary.”

I definitely wanted to get nowhere close to them.

“Woah…There’s so many classes?” I mumbled in astonishment.

The website I was on listed all the types of classes goblins were known to have. Apparently, they can have most classes that we can have with a few being exclusive to the goblin race.

“Goblin Warlock?”

That was an upgrade to the old man goblin’s class—Shaman.

It’s interesting, it seems like there’s a whole goblin society I know nothing about.

But…How do people even get this info?

Is this all from the first 10 floors? Or are there more goblins on higher level floors?

“Ah…It could also be from a gate?” I thought.

Gates were basically tower floors but materialized in our world. They had their own danger classification and could appear almost anywhere.

They’re quite dangerous and I want nothing to do with them as of now.

The guilds and association people can deal with them, I’ll just chill and make potions.

That’s my class after all—Alchemist.

Though, if a gate were to threaten an outbreak close to my home, I may get involved.

“Hm…Can I blow up a gate?”

Now I’m curious.

If I throw potions in from outside the gate, one, would that work, and two, could I destroy the gate from the outside?

I can think of several poisons and explosive potions I could create that would be effective for destruction.

I shook my head. No use thinking about it. Even if I was curious, I had no plans for gate involvement yet.

Turning off the water, I dried my hair and got dressed.

After flopping in my bed, I threw a quick glance at the gallery.

“…Little bomber?”

My brow furrowed as I read the title I seem to go by now.

“…Because she’s little and she throws bombs? So we call her ‘Little Bomber’…”

I exited the gallery.

I’m an alchemist! Not a terrorist!

“Haah…” I sighed.

“Whatever.” I mumbled.

Going to the real gallery, I wrote a post.

[Cleared the 3rd Floor! I’m unstoppable! #BestAlchemistOnEarth]

Author: BinLover

(Video of Floor 3 Clear)

Drinks on me again! Aren’t you proud of my capable self!

Ah, but that old man goblin looked kind of scary. It just gave off a ominous vibe, y’know?

Too bad it’s nothing in the face of my EXPLOSION!

Wahahaha!

→ [SlimeLube: Where slime?]

→ [CauldronBro: You’re definitely getting better, congrats. But, did you not drink buff potions?]

↳ [BinLover: No, I’m saving them for emergencies. These guys are too weak and since they get stuck in the gluetrap potion anyway, I didn’t feel the need to.]

↳ [CauldronBro: I see. You’re not wrong, but a little advice: In case of emergencies, you won’t even be able to drink them in time. You should always drink buff potions before combat just in case. It’s not like they’re expensive to make, nor are they a hassle to drink, if taste is the issue you can easily fix that to make it taste like something you like.]

↳ [BinLover: Ah, I see. You’re completely right. I’ll drink potions before every clear from now on.]

↳ [Juxtaps: ?]

↳ [EfficiencyLord: ?]

↳ [Meditation Is Medicine: ?]

↳ [ObsidianTier: Who are you?! Bin wouldn’t agree this easily without a fight!]

↳ [BinLover: Why are you all spamming question marks!!!! >:((( Even I can see that I was getting complacent! Everything Cauldron said makes sense! In case of emergencies I wouldn’t have time to drink my buff potions, and I can make them taste like chocolate or strawberries! I don’t want to die from foolishness after all!!!]

↳ [Juxtaps: Wow…The child’s all grown up…Is this what being a parent is like?]

↳ [BinLover: Grrrrr!!!! >:((((]

→ [✪Potions Are Easy: A Goblin Shaman, huh. It’s strange, I realized it before but it didn’t click until now. There’s no soul or intelligence in these monster’s eyes.]

↳ [BinLover: wdym?]

↳ [✪Potions Are Easy: I just re-watched your other floor clears and confirmed it. The monsters you’ve been bombing are like hollow shells of their true selves. They have no intelligence and only seem to charge forward like it’s their set command. That shaman should have noticed something was wrong and would’ve never acted like that normally.]

↳ [BinLover: Hm…Probably just some tower stuff I guess? I reckon that after floor 10 they’ll be like normal monsters and stuff.]

↳ [✪Potions Are Easy: I see. Well, you should probably at least somewhat prepare for it beforehand. The strategy you’re currently using won’t work for long.]

↳ [BinLover: I’ll think about it!]

Closing the gallery, I stretched. Those old alchemy misters always have something to learn from.

As much as I wanted to relax in bed for the rest of the day, my day was far from over.

After using so much mana during skill modification, I learnt how much I really needed mana potions. So, it was time to make some.

But…I just had one last thing to do before researching.

[Me: I am the bestest!!! Floor Clear!]

[Me: (Raccoon with sunglasses icon)]

[Luna: Congrats!]

[Luna: (Jumping mouse icon)]

[Me: Call me the best!]

[Luna: You’re the best!]

[Me: (Happy raccoon icon)]

[Luna: (Happy mouse icon)]