World’s Cutest Alchemist

Since my core still felt strained, I decided to rest for the remainder of the day.

Just as I was about to text Mouse, I stopped at the sudden notification appearing.

Someone sent me a message.

And it was to BinLover rather than Raccoon.

“Hm?” I tilted my head and took a look.

[Superian: Hello! I’m sorry for bothering you out of nowhere, but may I ask a question? I’m one of the people who sold you opara grass a few months back.]

Was he? I shrugged. Whether he was or not didn’t matter to me, I’m just curious about the sudden message.

[BinLover: Hi!]

[BinLover: What’s up?]

[Superian: I’m just curious on what you ended up doing with that opara grass. If you don’t want to tell me, please feel free not to!]

[BinLover: ?]

[BinLover: I planted it in my garden!]

[BinLover: (Photo)]

[BinLover: Isn’t it cute?]

[Superian: It is. I like your garden. Thank you for the answer!]

[BinLover: Sure!]

[BinLover: But why ask?]

[Superian: Ah, I don’t know if you know, but there’s this famous alchemist called ‘Raccoon’, there’s virtually no information about them and a lot of people are trying to find out. Recently, there’s been a post about how Raccoon possibly visited an arcade and played a guild’s Alchemy Lab machine. Apparently, they used opara grass in the potion recipe they created and people remembered that there was someone buying opara grass a few months ago. Even if it makes no sense, there’ll possibly be people looking into you just based on the slimmest possibility you could be this ‘Raccoon’.]

“Mm…” I mumbled. It seems like that arcade story finally got released. I was wondering when it’d happen.

I expected that. I expected that people could find out that I lived in Florida. But, I didn’t expect the story of me buying opara grass to be out there.

It doesn’t even make sense. It’s like latching on an invisible string to try and make it visible. There’s no reason that opara grass = Raccoon, yet, there might be people looking into ‘BinLover’?

Haah… I internally sighed. Well, whatever. I’m curious to see where this goes.

With those thoughts, I replied.

[BinLover: Oh.]

[BinLover: Why does opara grass = Raccoon?]

[Superian: It doesn’t but some people are desperate for anything that could be considered a clue to their identity.]

[BinLover: Why do people care so much about them?]

[Superian: A few main reasons.]

[Superian: One, they’re a presumably unaffiliated alchemist, with no guild or company behind them. Alchemists aren’t common but they’re in high demand so even if they’re unskilled at first, corporations can train them to be useful.]

[Superian: Which brings me to the next point, Raccoon has proven themselves to be skilled even without help. From what we know, Raccoon only awakened 2-3 months ago and is already able to make D grade potions. They’ve also made explosive potions, which are extremely effective as you’ll see if you watch any of their clear videos. Corporations or guilds drool at the thought of getting a talented alchemist]

[Superian: Two, they’ve made explosive potions. This could be a benefit for guilds and governments or a disaster. Raccoon has been using explosives as their main weapon since the first floor, likely indicating they’re using cheap materials to make them. We don’t believe they currently are, but if Raccoon were to be swayed or influenced by terrorist organizations, it could cause unprecedented mayhem.]

[Superian: Three, the less information known about someone, the more curious the masses get. Raccoon has nothing out there about themselves, not their age, gender, personality, nothing. We only have assumptions made by analysts and identifiers. They’ve never posted a comment and have only sold potions. Similar to the rank 1 ‘Anon’, people are naturally more curious about the unknown.]

[Superian: Four, this is more of a personal opinion…But, their actions appear quite cute—]

Excuse me…? I immediately stopped reading there and tilted my head.

[Superian: —If you watch the first floor clear, you can see how inexperienced they are and they look like a child trying to win a round of hide and seek. It pairs well with their ‘Little Bomber’ alias—the nickname they’ve been given—and because they have the anonymous mode on, people have to get more imaginative. Currently, most people believe the Raccoon is a small, teenage girl who could be their daughter.]

“…” I stared at the message in disbelief.

Should I just blow everything up?

[Superian: There are more reasons, but these are the main ones. Any more questions?]

[BinLover: You explained this all very well! How do you know so much?]

[Superian: Haha, thank you. I’m looking to be a journalist, so I naturally try to keep up to date with the news. I’m personally very interested in Raccoon myself, so that’s a bonus.]

[BinLover: I see, I see! You’ll definitely become a great journalist one day!]

[BinLover: Ah, but…What should I do? Are people going to keep messaging me and reading through my previous posts? That feels a bit disturbing.]

[Superian: Don’t worry! I can handle a majority of it if you give me permission.]

[BinLover: ?]

[BinLover: Go ahead? But how will you handle it?]

[Superian: First, could you send me more photos of your garden?]

[BinLover: Sure!]

[BinLover: (Photo)]

I sent her photos of my strawberry plants and plants before I remade my garden. I didn’t include any material photos except for the opara grass.

[Superian: Great! I’ll write a post basically just saying that I’ve spoken to you and that you’re just a simple gardener/botanist. That’ll be enough for most people to not bother you, but, there might be a handful of people who want to confirm things themselves.]

[BinLover: Okay! Thank you for your help!]

[Superian: No, thank you. Even this story brings me a step closer to becoming a journalist. Have a good day!]

[BinLover: You too!]

After closing the chat, I sighed and leaned back in my chair.

Now…How should I handle this?

I wasn’t ignorant of Raccoon’s fame and desirability. I’m simply neutral to it. As long as I can sell potions, what does it matter?

I just didn’t know they were this obsessed.

It made me want to mess with them.

At the same time, I can stop people from bothering BinLover.

A win-win situation.

And once I’ve got an idea in mind, I put it into motion.

I created a Tawer account with the name ‘Raccoon’.

Tawer accounts were basically the social media platform for awakeners. They’re different than the forums, as usernames are public. Handles on Tawer get locked once someone using an alias achieves a certain amount of fame. And Raccoon has definitely reached that threshold.

Any follower I had will automatically start following my Tawer, assuming they have an account themselves.

It’s tower-enforced so there’s no room for doubt.

“Now…What to write as my first post?” I tapped my desk in thought.

But I soon knew exactly what to write. There was something I’ve been wanting to correct since the first floor.

…

People who had followed Raccoon’s tower profile suddenly received a notification. At first, they thought she was back to selling potions and plenty of people moved to immediately buy out her mana potions.

They were quite good after all. Unlike usual mana potions, her’s had a sweet taste and were a bit better than the average D grade mana potion.

But, the notification wasn’t for an exchange listing as they thought. Not at all.

Rather, it was a notification that Raccoon had created a Tawer account.

This riled up the people who weren’t as interested in her potions as much as they were the person herself.

Someone who had never revealed themselves to the public, an alchemist who simply creates and sells potions has finally started making movements to step into the limelight?

Guilds, governments, and the curious bystanders all immediately went to check out her Tawer page.

It was empty for now, but surely, she’d post something soon? That was a common thought going through most peoples heads.

And their thoughts were soon proven correct.

[Raccoon: They’re called Dynokali potions—the ones that go boom—pretty cool, right?]

“…” A certain government agent stared at the post with a wide mouth, unable to speak.

“…” Various news agencies and journalists stared at the post with blank minds.

“Bahaha!” A certain guild master laughed out loud as he read the post.

“Hahaha! Of course, an alchemist would want their potions to be known correctly!” An alchemist laughed before he closed the post and continued his own alchemy.

People who had been expecting Raccoon to finally come out, to reveal themselves, or at the very least, to comment on the arcade situation all felt like they were hit by a stone brick.

She didn’t confirm or deny that she was the arcade-goer; She didn’t say that she was working with a guild; She didn’t say anything anyone expected of her. She simply informed the masses of her explosive potion’s name.

It didn’t take long for various replies to appear underneath her post.

→ [Is this really Raccoon?]

→ [As expected as the Little Bomber, you can’t stand having your explosives incorrectly titled!]

→ [Raccoon, please reach out to your local tower association.]

→ [Did you really expose yourself on a date?]

→ [Dynokali? It is cool! Did you name them yourself?]

→ [Are you affiliated with any guild or corporation?]

→ [Why are you an illegal awakener? Is there a specific reason?]

→ [Do you have any plans to go public?]

→ [Do you live in Florida?]

→ [What are your future plans?]

→ [Have you really only been awakened for 2 months?]

→ [When are you teaming with a party?]

→ [Please post more often!]

→ [Come to the Red Lions guild, we’ll offer you the best conditions and treatment!]

→ [What about the other potion you use? The one that traps the monsters before you explode them?]

↳ [Raccoon: Those are called Gluetrap potions! They’re a real hassle I tell you.]

↳ [You reply to this comment but none of the others??]

↳ [Any plans on continued posting?]

↳ [Have you made any potions you haven’t revealed in your floor clears?]

↳ [Raccoon: Tons in theory, but I have yet to actually brew them due to point concerns.]

↳ [Our Yellow Turtle guild can provide you all the materials you need!]

↳ [Red Lions will provide you everything!]

→ [Is there any reason you decided to start communicating with the public now? Does it relate to the arcade story going around?]

↳ [Raccoon: Guess! Hehe.]

↳ [Ah…This brat?]

↳ [Raccoon is a troll???]

↳ […Maybe she should have stayed out of the public eye.]

…

“Hehe!” I giggled, leaning back in my chair.

I should have done this sooner.

If people really want to watch my every move, it’s only fair that they get messed with, right? I mean, it’s not like I asked you to stalk me.

Maybe I should do a QnA at some point? That sounds like it might be fun.

Everyone is quite curious about me after all.

Looking at the forums, I could see them having a meltdown. There were tons of theories, conspiracies, and assumptions being made about me right now.

They all just have so many questions about poor little ol’ me! It’s only fair if I answer them, right?

But, alas, today is not the day. I’ll let it simmer for a bit before dropping the bombshell known as a QnA. That sounds like the most fun after all.

After a while of scrolling through the reactions and replies, I finally texted Mouse.

She responded quickly, and we soon started playing the good ol’ Shadows of Freest. We also voice called instead of using text chat.

After a fun day of playing, the moon had revealed itself in its full glory and we said our goodbyes to each other.

I felt really accomplished today. Though I didn’t brew any potions or make points, I completely rearranged my garden and even set the internet on fire for a little bit.

So, I went to sleep with a smile.

That night, I dreamt of using my Dynokali potions.