World’s Cutest Alchemist

As Luna and I headed into the hallway, an unexpected person followed behind.

“Excuse me, Ms. Raccoon, could I have a moment of your time?” Maren asked.

I turned and looked at the noble woman. I wonder what race she is; Luna and I had both guessed that she wasn’t human, but, even with her pointy ears, she wasn’t exclusively and elf either. Maybe a half-elf?

“Maren, right? What’s up?” I asked.

“I know you’re a very busy person, but if possible, I’d like to invite you over for a cup of tea sometime. The kids I look after really idolize you and would love to meet you. Oh, and of course, Ms. Luna would be welcome as well.”

For some reason, I felt like it wasn’t just those kids who liked me very well. I noticed it before when she kept staring at me during the meeting, but I think this Maren person also likes me; Maybe in a way similar to how a fan views an entertainer? That’s the vibe I got.

I wonder why? I haven’t even done that much. If I had appeared on TV or livestream or something, I could understand it. But, as of now, there isn’t much of that.

“Where do you live?” I asked.

When I said that Maren’s face brightened like I just gave her a cookie or something. Though, it was quickly replaced by her usual elegant expression.

“I live in Sunrise Forest, since I live a little deep into the forest, I’d have to guide you in.” She said.

Sunrise Forest? I’ve never heard of it.

“Alright, I’m really busy as of late, so, it’ll probably be sometime next year when I can visit.” I extended my hand for a handshake, “It was nice to meet you, Maren.”

“That’s fine,” Maren smiled, “It was wonderful to meet you too.”

When her hand grasped mine, my eyes widened for a brief moment. Her hands were cold, it wasn’t freezing cold like she had just come out of a freezer, but, a cool, refreshing cold.

Luna and I turned to leave, when we were a little bit away, Luna grabbed my hand that shook Maren’s and interlocked our fingers. I felt…A bit of jealousy coming from her. I know it shouldn’t, but, that made me happy. A jealous Luna is absolutely adorable.

After we got back to the car, she didn’t immediately turn it on, instead, leaning over the center console and spoke,

“Mask…” She said quietly.

Ah, right, I completely forgot about this. Really, I bet I could fall asleep with it on and I wouldn’t notice.

I deactivated full-mask mode and when I did, Luna leaned in and gave me a kiss as if she was proclaiming that I was hers.

Pfft! Hehe!

That confidence lasted briefly as she quickly returned to turning on the car with a flushed face.

As we drove home, I looked out the window with my chin and cheek rested on my palm. It’s been way too hectic recently…I just want to go home and brew potions. Those guys will go and field-test the bouncy potions, so, all I have to do is wait for their results. As for everything else? I think I’m free to just brew potions until chairman gramps needs me or I run out of bottles. Whichever comes first.

Taking a deep breath, I rested my eyes for the rest of the car ride.

…

As soon as Luna and I walked through the front door, I received a message from the group of testers; We had a group chat made for it, so anyone could respond or see what was tested.

[Martin (bald) - Tested the bouncy ball! It bounces!]

I smiled knowingly when I read that message.

Should I be surprised? I knew that was immediately going to be one of the first things that people test out when they buy the potion. Honestly, I expected one of them to immediately buy a bouncy ball from the exchange and test it out as soon as I handed them the potions.

Luna looked intrigued at the message. Come to think of it, does she even know what happens to the bouncy ball? She’s someone who has free access to my potions, yet, she only takes the mana potions to drink.

The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

What was surprising though was that he directly messaged me the video instead of sending it to the testers group chat.

[Martin (bald) - (video of bouncy ball test)]

“Shall we watch it together?” I asked, gesturing to the couch.

“Mhm.” Luna nodded.

We took a seat next to each other and played the video.

It started with Jean setting up her phone to get a good view of everyone. Most of the testers were still in that meeting room, the only ones missing were Pearl, Kaela, and Maren. The remaining group stood near the right side of the room, where the couches were.

“I’ve got a bouncy ball!” Martin exclaimed, raising the ball high so that everyone could see it.

“What? Why do you have one of those?” Amelia asked incredulously.

“Ahaha,” Martin scratched the back of his head, “If the apology went well, I was going to ask alchemist Raccoon to sign it, I ended up forgetting though because of these potions.”

“…Sign your…Bouncy ball?”

“That’s right!” Martin nodded confidently.

“…Whatever floats your boat.”

While Amelia and Martin were having that back and forth, the rest of the group congregated around Martin. Everyone was interested in what happened to the bouncy ball, at this point, it could be considered a mystery of the world.

“It says we have five minutes of bounce if we use the whole bottle.” Martin said.

“Are you going to use the whole bottle? It seems like a waste.” Jean commented, “You can just use a little bit, see what happens, and then use the rest for something else, no?”

“No! This is all I need to see!” Martin shook his head.

Jean shrugged, Martin wasn’t going to change his mind.

“This is it before the potion,” He said and let the bouncy ball drop from his hand. It hit the floor and bounced back up to him, “Just a standard ball, we’ve all played with these before, nothing new about it.” He commentated. He gave me a similar vibe someone sponsored to review a product.

But! Don’t get it twisted! I’m not paying him a cent!

“Now, when apply the potion to it…” Martin untwisted the cap and poured all of it onto the ball without a second thought. Most of it was absorbed into the ball, but some of it fell onto his hand and then dribbled off of it and onto the floor, getting absorbed into that instead.

“Wow…” Martin mumbled.

“Just how does it work?” Someone else quietly asked, “And why doesn’t the bottle become bouncy even though it’s holding the liquid?”

“Probably coated the inside with something, I guess.”

“It didn’t get absorbed into his hand, but it did get absorbed into the floor?” Someone remarked.

“The potion mentioned that anything with stronger properties makes the potion not work, I reckon Martin’s skin counts as being stronger.”

“Huh, I wonder if that’s because he’s a mid-tier awakener or if it’s like that for everyone? Would that also happen for a baby or would the potion absorb itself into them?”

…It’s fascinating seeing how peoples minds go to certain things. I can tell you confidently, that the last thing on my mind was how this potion would affect babies.

But, I can say that it wouldn’t affect them. The natural resistance of life is stronger than the potion, it’s why the potion doesn’t directly affect living animals, plants, or people.

“Okay! I’m going to drop it!” Martin exclaimed and took a deep breath.

The commotion had quieted and every focused their attention onto the ball in Martin’s hand.

Even Luna had slightly leaned forward to make sure she wouldn’t miss it.

“Three…” Martin started a countdown, “Two…”

A mischievous feeling bubbled inside of me as I watched.

“One!”

Just as Martin said one, I yanked the phone away and hid it behind my back.

“Hey!” Luna exclaimed and looked at me with a betrayed expression, “G-Give it back!”

“Hehe, give what back?” I asked innocently.

“The phone! It was just about to show what happens!”

“Oh,” I said, “The phone’s dead though. It ran out of battery.”

“Liar!” Luna pouted and shot me a glare, “It was near full battery just a moment ago!”

“It’s opposite day.” I said.

“Hmph, fine, whatever, I’ll just ask Martin for the video and watch it on my own phone.” She went to pull out her phone but I was a step faster and practically jumped onto her, embracing her so that she couldn’t move her arms.

Of course, she was stronger than me, so, at any point she could have broken free, but, she didn’t.

“Let go! I need to see what happens!” She fake-struggled. There was no real power or effort in her attempts to break free.

“I can’t let you do that!” I exclaimed.

“Why not!”

“The world as we know it will end if you see that video!”

“B-But! I need to see it!”

“Do you…Do you really need to see it even if it causes the world’s destruction?” I asked.

“I must…” She solemnly said.

“Haah…” I sighed, “Okay…” I let go of her and held out the phone, “If you really want to see it, then here…But, just know that the sacrifice I’m making for this deserves a reward.” I presented my face and closed my eyes.

“You…You just wanted a kiss, didn’t you…?” Luna quietly accused.

Pfft, hehe!

“Mm…Mwah.”

After that, she grabbed the phone and rewinded the video a bit and continued watching.

“Three…Two…One!” Martin exclaimed and dropped the bouncy ball.

The ball hit the floor and it didn’t bounce to his hand, no, not even close. Instead, it sprung straight up and smacked against the roof. Then, it began to accelerate. It bounced off the ceiling, slamming into the ground and then into the ceiling, it was out of control.

“Duck!” Someone shouted.

“It’s bouncy!” Someone else screamed.

The ball hit various furniture like lamps, paintings, and plants, each and every one of them getting knocked over.

“We have to catch it!” Someone said.

If they didn’t the meeting room would be destroyed.

Martin rushed forth and tried to catch the ball, but he was just out of reach and the ball bounced to the complete opposite side of the room.

“I got it!” Mary said reaching for the ball. But, what she didn’t realize was that there was a table right in front of her, she ran straight into it as the ball bounced away. “Ow!”

“Oh my goodness.” Amelia muttered before chuckling. Only about three people were actively pursuing the ball: Martin, Mary, and Jean. Larry, Amelia, and Robert just stood watching the chase.

The ball and people went off screen as multiple crashes and thuds sounded out. After a few moments, something returned to the screen. It was the bouncy ball.

It bounced off the ceiling and slammed straight into the phone, a second later, the video only showed the ceiling.

It stayed like that for a while until we finally heard someone speak,

“The potion’s effect ended…Got it.”

A moment later, Jean returned and picked up the phone, showing the absolutely destroyed meeting room. It was like a hurricane ran through there.

“Pfft! Bahahahaha!” I burst out laughing at the chaotic mess I just saw. That looked straight out of a sitcom!

“Hahaha!” Luna laughed along. I bet she was glad she hadn’t tested it herself now.

I bet what was happening was that when they finally went to catch the ball, it bounced straight off of their palms. I know from personal experience!

Months ago, when I was recording the teaser video, that’s exactly what happened to me! The ball had completely destroyed my room.

What I found out was that the potion actually amplifies the bounciness. Making it near impossible to retrieve once it’s in motion.

And, don’t tell anyone, but that’s exactly the reason I cut off the video there. I wanted people to test it for themselves when they bought the potion! Am I evil?

Nah! Hehe!

I would’ve loved to see Luna experience it first-hand though. That’s a shame. But, at least I got to see these funny reactions. Oh man, I can’t wait for Christmas.

I smiled and sent a message to the group chat.

[Me: Received! Thank you! Btw, I know I said I wouldn’t ask you all of anything, but, could you please keep what happens to the bouncy ball in specific private? If you do, I’ll give everyone another two bouncy potions for free!]

[Amelia: I see the gremlin tag you have isn’t without reason. I’ll keep my mouth zipped.]

[Martin (bald): Of course! My tongue is tied! I’d love for everyone else to experience the excitement personally!]