World’s Cutest Alchemist

When Jean stood just a few steps in front of us, she immediately bowed and spoke,

“I’m very sorry, Ms. Luna, Ms. Raccoon. The after gate dinner got a little rowdy and someone must’ve overheard it. None of us intentionally tried to expose your secret relationship.”

She sounded very heartfelt; I could tell she was truly apologetic.

Rather than responding immediately, I interlaced my fingers and looked at her from head to toe.

Jean was a mature-looking woman. I reckoned she was in her forties; She was clearly adult who may even have a kid or two. She was dressed like a biker aunt—unzipped leather jacket, black shirt, and jeans.

It was kind of weird seeing an adult—even older than my mother—apologize to me so sincerely. But, I guess that’s maturity. If I and Luna were really trying to hide our relationship for whatever reason, she and her party had been the ones to leak it.

Though, there’s also the thing where Luna didn’t particularly tell them to be quiet about it. So, she’d also technically be in the wrong. But, Jean is taking accountability despite everyone being at fault.

There were about ten minutes left until the set meeting time. I figured that the party would start trickling in one-by-one. So, I opted on waiting to mess around until everyone arrived.

“Let’s wait until everyone is here to chat.” I solemnly said with my most mature and serious sounding voice I could muster.

“Okay.” Jean nodded and took a seat on a separate couch.

I took a glance at Luna and saw that she was maintaining her usual expressionless persona; She looked cold and aloof. Noticing me looking at her, she glanced towards me and I slightly lifted my mask above my mouth and stuck out my tongue playfully.

Very slightly, the corners of her mouth lifted with amusement. I quickly readjusted my mask and turned towards Jean.

She was looking at me, if I had to guess she was starstruck and admiring her idol—me! Thankfully, she couldn’t have seen me make a face at Luna from her angle. If she had, my persona would’ve crumbled instantly! I can’t be having another loss before the meeting even starts! That already happened with chairman gramps and if it happens a second time in a row, I can never go to a meeting again!

The silence settled in and I’m sure it was extremely awkward for at least one of us! And it certainly wasn’t me!

Though, now that there was someone else here, I couldn’t just lay on Luna’s lap. So, I was getting bored.

Guess I might as well check what the alchemy misters said. I had informed them of my new bottles while Luna was working the TV.

[New Bottles!! Aren’t these just so cute!?]

Author: BinLover

Look at these!

(multiple images of [Raccoon and Mouse Glass Bottle])

(multiple images of [Raccoon Glass Bottle])

(multiple images of [Mouse Glass Bottle])

I hired someone to make me a steady supply of these! 1400 weekly! Don’t these just look amazing!? Quality is good too, they’re even better than my previous potion bottles.

→ [Juxtaps: Nice. Raccoon is for you, I presume. But what’s the mouse design for?]

↳ [Love Fusion Mix Hands: So clueless. (rolling demoness eyes icon)]

→ [Love Fusion Mix Hands: These are so adorable, cutie! Congratulations on the new bottles.]

→ [SlimeLube: Slime?]

→ [CauldronBro: Congrats! Just like getting a cauldron, getting your own brand of bottles is always special. The details are simple but enough for someone to glance at a bottle and know that ‘Yeah, those are Bin’s bottles.’ Are you going for three different versions? Is that why you have the ‘raccoon’, ‘mouse’, and ‘raccoon and mouse’ types?

Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author’s consent. Report any sightings.

Like, is one going to be for offensive potions, another for defensive potions, and the last for utility potions? Or is it just for aesthetic purposes?]

↳ [Juxtaps: Knowing her, it’s only for aesthetic.]

↳ [CauldronBro: Yeah, you’re probably right.]

→ [EfficiencyLord: You only get 1,400 weekly? So, you’re only going to make 200 potions a day? How slow.]

↳ [ObsidianTier: 1,400 is plenty. Not everyone only makes potions in batches.]

→ [✪Potions Are Easy: Congratulations on the new bottles! I remember getting my first custom made bottles, I still have them to this day. When I want to go down memory lane, I grab them from storage.]

Oh? I didn’t even think about categorizing the potions in separate bottles like cauldron mister said. Though, I’m not very interested in doing that. Sounds like a whole lot of unnecessary work.

Also, why is Jux mister so clueless? He’s like one of those dense protagonists that wouldn’t understand someone is into him even after they’ve kissed.

Well, whatever, it’s fun seeing Love Fusion tease him.

“Haah…” I sighed.

I didn’t even think about it until efficiency mister said something. As amazing and cute as the bottles are, they do limit how many potions I can make and sell per week, assuming I only use those bottles—which, I likely will for commercial use. Currently, I make 300 potions a day: 50 mana potions and 250 bouncy potions.

That’s 8,400 potions per month. And I’m only getting 5,600 bottles per month. That’s 2,800 potions I’m missing out on. I won’t even be able to stockpile bottles for personal use at this rate.

I’d have to take 3 days off per week if I don’t want to run out of bottles.

Mm…What to do, what to do~

I could get another glassblower. But that might be too early. I need to let drug mister settle in first.

Ah, right, didn’t he say that he could be more efficient if he had better skills or something? Then…Maybe it’ll be fine with time?

I remember upgrading my [Plant Growth] skill to be more efficient, with continuous effort, won’t he also upgrade whatever skills he has? Plus, depending on the price, I could even buy him a skill from the exchange.

Well, whatever, it’s probably too early to be thinking about this stuff for now. I haven’t even had drug mister for a month yet.

When it becomes a problem, I’ll look more into the solutions.

The door made an unlocking noise as another person entered the room. This time, it was a red-haired girl. Her name was Mary, right? I think Luna told me that she was Jean’s relative or something?

She was young, even younger than me. From appearance alone, I guessed she was around 16 or 17.

Unlike Jean’s calm and mature demeanor, Mary looked a little anxious and regretful. When she spotted us, she speed walked over until she was just a few steps away.

“M-Ms. Raccoon, Ms. L-Luna, I’m terribly sorry!” Her voice trembled slightly, she was the complete opposite of Jean. Which, I guess makes sense considering her age. “I-I shouldn’t have been talking about your private relationship in public…Now the whole world knows…” She looked genuinely apologetic.

Before I had the chance to respond, the door opened again and this time, a burly looking man entered. He was bald with a beard stubble. Honestly, he’s kind of intimidating. Was this the shield guy Luna mentioned? What was his name again? Martin?

He spotted us and immediately walked over with large steps. With his build, he could’ve been a sports star easily.

“Mage Luna, alchemist Raccoon!” He was naturally loud, I could tell how their conversation got leaked so easily now. If we weren’t in a specially isolated room, I bet you could hear this man from one end of the building to the other!

Martin clapped his hands together and did a 90 degree bow, his bald head would’ve blinded me if the sun had reflected against it.

“I’m terribly sorry!” He exclaimed, “It was my big mouth that exposed you!”

…Wow, am I glad we didn’t have this meeting in a cafe or something.

I stared at the bald man who was still bowing and then glanced at the anxious teenager behind him.

This makes me feel like the bad guy or something…Why do I feel like a delinquent or loan shark who came to their house to collect money?

“Let’s wait until everyone is here to chat.” I said the same thing to them as I did to Jean.

“Understood!” Martin shouted, straighting his back and turning to Luna, “It’s good to see you again mage Luna, if only it could have been under better circumstances.”

Luna gave a nonchalant nod. Martin and Mary headed to the couch Jean was sitting on and took a seat.

There, Martin whispered(?) to Jean, using his hand to try and block the sound from reaching me. Though that failed miserable, since, even Martin’s whisper sounded like a regular speaking voice.

“Hey, that’s really the Little Bomber!” He said.

Jean whispered something back; Unlike Martin, she was actually quiet so I couldn’t hear her.

“Do you think she’s brought her potions with her?” Martin asked.

After he heard Jean’s reply, he turned his gaze towards me—specifically towards my leg pouch and turned back to Jean, “Wow! I didn’t even notice! Oh my…Do you think she has her dynokali potions with her?”

This time, Mary whispered something to Martin.

“Huh? I’m being too loud? But, I’m whispering?” Martin replied.

I turned to Luna and whispered,

“Was he like this in your gate as well?” I asked.

“Yes,” Luna nodded. “But he’s quite reliable when he’s doing his job.”

“I see, I see. He gives me middle-aged uncle vibes.”

“I think I remember him saying he does have a young niece and nephew.”

“Knew it.”

Slowly, the rest of the party started to arrive. They all gave a brief apology, but, none of them looked as anxious as Mary did.

Soon, the last person arrived. A beautiful, noble-looking blue-haired girl entered the room. Immediately, my gaze was drawn to her. She looked around, spotting us before gracefully making her way towards me.

I believe this was Water, the other mage Luna worked with. Luna had told me she likely had some trait to give her a noble air, and, I can tell. Every move she made looked like it had dignity in it.

She was wearing a simple but elegant dress with a wide skirt. It looked like one of those dresses from the medieval era, if someone told me she was a noblewoman or princess, I wouldn’t doubt it.

“Ms. Raccoon,” She said, her voice was soft but charismatic. She gently pinched the sides of her skirt and lifted it slightly as she nobly bowed, “A pleasure to meet your acquaintance, it’s unfortunate that it must be in a situation like this, but a pleasure nonetheless. My name is Maren.”

…I don’t remember Luna telling me she talked this much, much less sharing her name? Didn’t she tell everyone else to simply refer to her as Water?

“…Yes, nice to meet you too.” I responded before turning to the group, “Now that everyone’s here, I’d like to have a little chat. Shall we sit at the round table?”

I stood up and headed to a seat. Luna followed, as did the rest of them.

Once everyone was seating, I tapped the desk with my pointer finger and spoke with a steady voice,

“Hello everyone, you may already know me, but, I am known as Raccoon, or the Little Bomber.”

“It’s my fault!” Martin immediately exclaimed, standing up.

Everyone’s attention turned to him—all except for one. From the side of my eye, I noticed that Maren kept glancing towards me.

“My loud mouth is what ended up exposing your hidden relationship! Mage Luna, alchemist Raccoon, I’m super sorry! Is there anything I can do for you? All I’ve got is this bulky body, so, if you need physical labor for something, I can do that!”

“M-Me too!” Mary stood up, “It’s also my fault! I’m really sorry!”

Guys…I can’t mess with you if the mood is like this. I’ll just look like a scumbag!