World’s Cutest Alchemist

When I returned home, I opened the door to a now unfamiliar silence. Though I expected it, I still felt a little sad that Luna hadn’t returned yet.

I flicked on the lights, kicked off my shoes, and headed to the kitchen.

The meeting with chairman gramps took around three hours; So, Luna should only have three to five hours left before she clears the gate. Assuming her six to eight hours estimate was correct.

That was the perfect amount of time to start on Luna’s reward: Delicious food.

There’s a cut of meat I’ve been waiting to try, but, it just takes too long for me to reasonably want to make it. So, technically, her reward won’t be ready today, but tomorrow.

That’s fine though. She said she wanted strip today anyways. I’ll make that later, probably after she returns since it doesn’t take long to make and is best eaten hot.

Opening the freezer, I took a step back and nodded proudly.

It was full of frozen red meat and chicken. This was one of the first big purchases we made together, we practically bought a whole cow!

Everything was neatly organized and separated based on the cuts we ate the most. The cuts of chicken like: breasts, thighs, wings, and even two whole uncut chickens were on the top side of the freezer.

In the middle section, the easiest place for me to access, were the red meats. And at the bottom were miscellaneous things like frozen foods, and precooked things.

What I was looking for was in the far back of the middle section. In fact, it was so tucked in there, I had to remove several other steaks before I could grab the one I wanted.

It was something I hadn’t cooked ever in my life, nor, have I ever even eaten it. The only times I saw these were on YouTube videos of chefs making and describing them as the juiciest most delicious cut of meat in their lives.

Finally, after pulling out over 75% of the red meats out of the fridge, I found it. I had to lean halfway into the freezer to grab it, when I did, I couldn’t even pull it out. The bottom was frozen stuck to the shelf.

“Hnng!”

“Ngh!!”

“Huuup!”

I used my entire body to pull it out before eventually failing miserably. It was really stuck in there.

“Haah…Haah…” I panted, placing my hands on my knees, out of breath.

“Darn it! Why is this tougher than the fifth floor!?” I grumbled.

I shot a glare at the freezer before smirking. An idea had come to mind.

Heh! You just wait, I’ll be back!

…

[You feel a little stronger.]

I savored the taste of my D+ grade strength potion.

“Pah!” I let out. Honestly, for the aesthetic I wanted to toss the bottle on the ground, but, I really didn’t want to end up cleaning glass.

So, I just gently placed it on the counter.

Heading back to the freezer, it was time for round two!

I leaned in, grabbing the cut of meat.

“Hnng!” I pulled.

I used my whole body weight. It moved. Albeit very slightly, I could feel it starting to move.

Is this still not enough! Gah!

Another idea came to mind and I immediately executed it.

Drawing mana from my core, I moved half of it to my arms and the other half to my legs.

“Huup!” It was moving! Finally! Then, suddenly, “WAAH!” I fell to my butt as the entire shelf came out of the freezer. Different cuts of steaks scattered all over the ground and in my hands was the cut of meat I wanted with the shelf still frozen to the bottom of it.

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

“Oh come on!” I shouted.

Annoyed, I let out a deep sigh of exhaustion and looked around.

“All this for a brisket…” I mumbled.

…

On the cutting board sat a untrimmed 20 pound brisket with tons of fat and silver skin on it.

Maybe it because I’ve never been to Texas or a BBQ restaurant, but, brisket was one of the few cuts of cow that I’ve never had. It was always way too expensive to want to try and why would I get a brisket that takes over half a day to cook rather than a strip or sirloin that can be made in under thirty minutes?

But, from what I’ve seen online, it should be good; All the internet chefs say its the most tender and juiciest cut of meat they’ve had. So! I think it’d be a great reward for both of us if I can cook it right.

And to do so, I needed help. A lot of help from tutorials and internet chefs.

“Let’s see…”

Well, I hope I don’t screw this up.

…

“Haah…” I sighed, stepping back.

It was a lot of work, but finally, the brisket sat in the oven cooking slowly.

From what I know, I shouldn’t need to check that until either the apartment burns down or it’s ready to eat. Whichever comes first I suppose.

Stretching, I glanced at the clock. It took over an hour for me to get that cooking. Most of it was because I didn’t want to mess it up. It’s supposed to be a reward, not a punishment.

As long as Luna came back without a scratch on her, we’d both be eating good tomorrow!

And, well, if she does come back injured, first, I’ll be really upset and second, the punishment can just be me eating it in front of her alone!

There’s no downsides! I’ll get to enjoy a nice, tender, juicy brisket either way!

With that done, all that’s left is to kill time brewing potions.

Ah, wait, I suppose there’s one more thing to do.

Heading to the dining table, I pulled out my phone, and opened the messages app.

[Me: Mama!]

The reply came almost instantaneously.

[Mama: My baby!]

[Mama: Do you miss Mama already?]

[Mama: How’s my daughter-in-law doing?]

[Me: What about me!?]

[Mama: You too, I guess.]

[Me: You guess!?!? Mama!!!]

[Mama: My daughter-in-law didn’t ghost me for six months~]

[Me: Ah! That’s water under the bridge!!]

[Mama: Hmph! My grudge will be washed away when I get to take you shopping.]

[Me: How about a few more dynokali potions instead?]

[Mama: Deal! Oh! You should’ve seen the look on everyone’s face when I pulled it out during training! Everyone looked at it for a moment before they all ran like scaredy-cats and dove behind cover!]

[Me: Ah!! I want to see that!]

[Mama: Hehe, I know. And that’s why I recorded it!]

[Me: !!! Send!!]

[Mama: Nope~ I’ll only show you in person.]

[Me: !! Come over immediately! (raccoon ‘right now!’ icon)]

[Mama: I can’t~ Your Papa is keeping me here because of ‘necessary training’]

[Me: Wah! (raccoon pouting icon)]

[Mama: (laughing fox icon)]

[Mama: So, what did you need? Seeing as that’s the only reason you would text me.]

[Me: ?! Not true!]

[Mama: Oh? So you don’t need anything?]

[Me: …I do.]

[Mama: See? What an unfilial daughter of mine.]

[Me: Bah! (raccoon pouting icon)]

[Me: Lawyer!!! Check!!!]

[Me: (pictures of ALG’s 1st contract).]

[Mama: Oh! Is my baby going to be in ALG Royale?]

[Me: Secret!! (raccoon ‘shushing’ icon).]

[Me: If the contract is fine, yes. Don’t tell anyone!]

[Mama: Haha, okay~ I can’t wait to see Marcel’s reaction to that. He plays the game a lot.]

[Me: Do you play it too?]

[Mama: Not often. Anyways, I’ll send this to our family’s lawyer…Speaking of, why don’t you have their contact?]

[Me: (raccoon shrugging icon)]

[Mama: Right, well, make sure you save this number: (Family Lawyer - Louis Wallen) He’s always been reliable.]

[Me: Okie~ Thanks!]

I saved the lawyer’s contact information. Do I have to pay this guy? Hm…Eh! Mama will handle that!

With that done, all that’s left is to kill time brewing potions. For real this time.

Purchasing the materials for mana potions, I got to work.

…

After I finished a batch of mana potions, I noticed that I had gotten a text message from someone.

Checking it, my eyes widened slightly.

This guy works fast!

It was Louis, our family lawyer.

[Family Lawyer - Louis Wallen: Good evening, Ms. Stella. This is Louis Wallen, I have received your contact information from your mother, Elara. For any legal concerns, please don’t hesitate to contact me.]

[Family Lawyer - Louis Wallen: I have read through the contract titled: ‘ALG Battle Royale - Little Bomber Collaboration’. There are no issues or underlying clauses inside. If you wish, we can try to add a few terms, otherwise, it’s a good contract.]

Oh, perfect! For one, I’m glad that chairman gramps wasn’t lying! If even the lawyer says that’s a good contract, then, I’m super excited! That means, the next time we meet, they’ll officially start working on my collaboration!

Hehe! That’ll be one step closer to seeing Luna’s shocked face!

To my surprise, that wasn’t the only text message I had gotten.

[Unknown Number: Hello, Ms. Raccoon, this is Audrey, Chairman Eugene’s personal assistant. I have been asked to forward you the digital version of two contracts.]

[Unknown Number: (ALG Battle Royale - Alchemist Specialist.docx), (ALG Battle of the Awakener’s - Star, the Cutest Bomber.docx).]

Wow! Do all professionals work really fast!? First it was Ashley, with her immediate replies to any message. Then, it was Louis, who’s already read through that first contract. And now, it’s chairman gramp’s personal assistant! I can’t believe they’ve already sent the contracts for those other two offers.

Well! Looks like I’m already putting our lawyer to work!

[Me: Hi! Mr. Louis! Thank you for your hard work! What kind of terms could I add?]

[Family Lawyer - Louis Wallen: Without pushing your luck, it should be easy to add simple marketing. You may be able to advertise your potions while they’re advertising your collab.]

[Family Lawyer - Louis Wallen: I’m not a marketing major, however, in my opinion, I believe this would be the perfect time to market your ‘Bouncy Bouncy Potions’ if they’re ready for sale. ALG always goes all out when marketing new collaborations, that’ll trickle down into hype for those.]

Hm…

I stared at the text for a few moments.

The bouncy bouncy potions, huh. Honestly, they’ve been ready to sell for ages. I just haven’t yet out of laziness and…Maybe a bit of gatekeeping.

I mean! What can I do!? I always see posts online asking about ‘What happened to the bouncy ball?’ or ‘When will these potions be released?’ But! They’re going to be disappointed!

What’s it called? When something doesn’t meet expectations? Ah! It’s like expecting a chocolate chip cookie but getting a raisin cookie instead!

“Haah…” I sighed.

Louis was right. Even I, someone with no skill in business, could tell that it’s a perfect time to sell my bouncy bouncy potions. Especially if I match the timing with the skin’s release on ALG Royale.

But…I still feel a little reluctant! It’s like sending my babies off to war!

But, it has to be done someday, doesn’t it? Else, they’ll just rot away in my closet.

Alright, fine! I’ve made up my mind! The bouncy bouncy potions will go on sale when the collaboration drops! Locked!

[Me: Got it~ Thanks, Louis! I’ll ask them to add that.]

[Family Lawyer - Louis Wallen: Of course. When is the closing?]

[Me: Three days from now.]

[Family Lawyer - Louis Wallen: At the ALG Office, correct? What time?]

[Me: 13:00, yep.]

[Family Lawyer - Louis Wallen: I’ll be there.]

[Me: Oh! Okay~ Thanks for your hard work!]

[Family Lawyer - Louis Wallen: Of course. If you need anything else handled legally, let me know.]

[Me: Well! Since you’ve said so, I’ve got two more contracts for you to read right here! Hehe! Thanks!~ (ALG Battle Royale - Alchemist Specialist.docx), (ALG Battle of the Awakener’s - Star, the Cutest Bomber.docx)]

[Me: Oh! And, I need you to write up some contracts for me!! I’ll tell you more in detail later!]

[Family Lawyer - Louis Wallen: …As expected from Elara’s child.]

[Family Lawyer - Louis Wallen: I’ll get back to you when I finish reading…]

“Hehe!” I giggled.