World’s Cutest Alchemist

[Me: Chairman gramps! My lawyer says I can probably ask to add simple marketing to my terms without a problem! Can I advertise my bouncy bouncy potions?]

[Chairman Gramps: Hm? You’re finally putting those potions on the market? Are you looking to coincide with the collaboration’s release date?]

[Me: Yep! I figured that’d be the best time!]

[Chairman Gramps: Are they FDA or CPSC approved?]

[Me: No? Are potions supposed to be?]

[Chairman Gramps: Only if you’re selling them outside of the exchange. I asked because if they were, it would have been something we could bundle. It’s fine though, I can agree to adding that term. Do you have enough stock?]

[Me: Um…I have a lot, I think.]

[Chairman Gramps: You’re going to need more.]

After thinking about it for a moment, I nodded to myself. Yeah, honestly, there’s no way my meager supply of bouncy potions is enough; I’ll need at least ten times what I have now.

Hm…Alright, let’s up the production. After my daily 50 mana potion sale, I’ll focus solely on bouncy bouncy potions.

[Me: Got it~ btw, I’m still thinking about the other two contracts, but the first is pretty much set. What time will the collaboration drop?]

[Chairman Gramps: That’s wonderful news. The Little Bomber collaboration will drop on Christmas day, December 25th, 00:00. We’ll do teasers in the coming weeks, we’ll only reveal that you’re the collaboration partner three days before Christmas.]

[Me: !? Three weeks from now!?? That soon!? Doesn’t it take a long time to plan, design, and implement these things!?]

[Chairman Gramps: We’re quite efficient here at ALG.]

For some reason, I pictured him having a smug smile when he sent that. And to be fair, that’s completely reasonable!

The amount of overtime his workers are going to suffer! Phew, am I glad I don’t have to…

Wait a minute…He wanted me to voice act my character in that MOBA…Oh no!

[Me: Say…Employees…No, contractors do get breaks, right?]

[Chairman Gramps: …Yes?]

Phew!

Hehe!

With that settled, it was back to making potions! But, instead of mana potions, it was time to crack out the good ol’ recipe book.

I hadn’t actually made bouncy bouncy potions in a while. After I stockpiled 300, they basically sat there collecting dust for months. I should really play with one sometime, that’s what I made them for after all.

Flipping through my notebook, I found the page that housed the ‘Bouncy Bouncy Potion’ recipe.

“Hm…” After reading through it a few times, I found myself lost in thought.

The recipe isn’t bad. Especially considering it was made in the early days; The cost is pretty low and it isn’t extremely complicated to make. Honestly, I can’t even tweak much of the ingredients without needing to do a major overhaul.

So, it’s probably fine to make as is…But…Can I do anything to spice it up?

I sat in thought for a good while before sighing.

This book was originally published on NovelPhoenix. Check it out there for the real experience.

No good ideas came to mind. So, I purchased the materials needed and got to work.

…

Another few hours had passed by smoothly, and I welcomed new bouncy potions to the stockpile.

I don’t think I say it enough, but, man, this cauldron was one of the best purchases of my life! It’s so useful!

First, it allows me to create more potions per batch! A whole 50! And, it makes that batch of 50 faster than if I were to make them individually! And I can’t forget to mention the quality boost my potions get!

Originally, my bouncy bouncy potions are a lowly D grade, straight in the upper middle of low tier. But, when using the cauldron, they come out as D+ grade, bringing them to the very cusp of becoming mid tier!

[Bouncy Bouncy Potion]

Grade - D+

Creator: Raccoon

A physics-altering potion created by a ‘(genius!!!!)’ alchemist. This potion changes the properties of anything it absorbs itself into temporarily, making anything ‘Bouncy~ Bouncy~’

However, when applied to something with stronger properties than the potion, the potion will not take affect.

* Not meant for consumption!

* I’m not responsible for any mishaps!!!

* Lasts up to 5 minutes depending on amount of potion used!

‘Bouncy~ Bouncy~ Bounce~’

The buyers are going to be confused when they see that a very low amount of them is going to be D grade while the rest are D+ grade. Maybe they’ll even become collectibles.

Hehe! It’s a shame they aren’t higher graded though. I wonder what I’d need to do to get them to mid tier? Maybe a duration increase?

Anyways, I stowed them in the closet next to the other stockpile and crashed on the couch in the living room. It was already nighttime.

Luna can’t be out for much longer, right?

Haah…I miss her.

Is this how pets feel when you’re at work all day? Should I be waiting by the door, staring at it like a patient dog?

Hm…? That could be a potion idea, right? The half-animal transformation potion? Basically, just giving someone animal ears and a tail. That sounds fun. I could even go one step further and actually give them translation abilities-

OH MY GOODNESS!

YES! I’ve thought of my next original potion creation.

Though there are language translation potions currently on the exchange, they’re all boring! So unbelievably boring! Bah! I’ll drink this terrible tasting potion and be able to speak with people from other countries freely! Lame!!

It’s up to me to spice things up a bit! Hehehe!

Grabbing my notebook of potion ideas, I started to jot down various concepts and ideas.

It’s a shame that I need to focus on bouncy bouncy potions for the time being, else, I’d immediately start creating some mock-up potions. But, I guess that gives me more time to refine and theorize the idea, so, it’s fine.

I don’t know how much time passed as I was jotting down things, but, at some point, my eyes could barely stay open. I was tired, it was way past my bedtime and I hadn’t even cooked dinner yet.

Closing the notebook, I made my way to the couch. My phone was sitting on a cushion; It was already close to midnight.

Mm…

I headed to my room and threw on my familiar raccoon pajamas. I might as well be comfy if I was going to be waiting; I didn’t plan on using my brain any longer today. I already felt mentally exhausted.

Flopping onto the couch, I closed my eyes briefly. I wasn’t going to sleep, I was just resting my eyes.

Some unknown amount of time passed before I heard the front door unlock.

I perked up, my eyes immediately shooting open as I threw a glance at the door.

Finally!

As I started making my way towards the door, it opened. And the most beautiful girl in the world stepped inside.

A smile crept onto my face as I approached her.

“You’re back?!” I exclaimed, my tone higher than I expected.

“I’m back.” Luna replied with a smile, opening her arms.

Instead of hugging her immediately, I circled around her a few times, inspecting her from head to toe. I must admit, Luna looks super good in her tower climbing outfit.

Thankfully, it looked like Luna was unscathed.

“Good! Unhurt!” I jumped into her embrace and hugged her tightly.

“Of course,” Luna replied, “You told me not too, so, I stayed my safest.”

“Hehe!” Hearing that, I giggled. Good! I’m glad she listens well, “Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!” As a small reward, I gave her plenty of kisses.

“Sorry I got back so late, the gate took longer than I thought it would.” Luna said after a few moments.

“It’s okay, as long as you’re uninjured that’s all that matters.” I replied, “I didn’t make dinner yet since I didn’t know when you’d be coming back. Good thing I did too, else, you’d be eating cold steaks.”

“How about we just wait until tomorrow?” Luna offered, looking at me from head to toe, “You look tired and comfy.”

“No way!” I shook my head profusely, other than the fact that I had the brisket cooking for tomorrow, I can’t let Luna go to sleep without eating! She was in that gate for however many hours, there’s no way she had time to eat, unless she ate something on the way back, but I don’t think she did.

“You just go shower and put on your pajamas! I’ll go start cooking now!” I said.

“But…Haah…Alright.” Luna smiled and sighed, “Then, I’ll be expecting something delicious.”

“Of course!” I patted my chest, “Just leave it to me!”

She nodded before leaning in and giving me a small peck before heading to the bathroom.

“Hehe!” I giggled, heading to the kitchen.

I had long since defrosted the strips I was cooking.

Grabbing a pan, I set it on the stove and turned the heat to high.

…

A little later, three steaks were resting on the cutting board. They were incredibly juicy. I planned to cut into them when Luna was finished with her shower—which shouldn’t be long from now.

A few minutes later, I proved right as she made her way to the dining table, wearing her mouse pajamas.

“Perfect timing!” I said, “They’ve just about finished resting.”

“They look beautiful.” Luna commented as I cut into the steaks.

We were met with a warm red center. Perfect. I plated everything neatly.

“Thank you for the meal!” Luna said licking her lips. She waited for my signal before starting to devour her food.

The steak was cut into bite-sized pieces so she smoothly tossed it into her mouth and chewed happily. She looked super cute while eating, especially wearing her mouse onesie, so I couldn’t help but smile.

“Mm! Delicious!” Luna mumbled.

“Hehe, of course.” I said with pride, “Who do you think cooked it?”

Luna chuckled, continuing to eat.

I also started eating and…Wow, I must say, props to the chef. Whoever this chef is deserves a Michelin star. Oh wait, it’s me! Hehe!

It didn’t take long for us to both finish eating. We were both hungry, so, we simply feasted without speaking much.

Luna took the plates and brought them to the sink to wash.

“Haah…” I yawned, feeling even more sleepy than before I ate. What’s it called? A food coma?

As much as I wanted to ask and learn all the details about Luna’s gate clear, I was simply too tired to listen. I felt like I could fall asleep standing.

I rubbed my eyes and stood up, waddling over to Luna.

“Mouse…” I whispered.

“Yeah?” She asked, turning her head to me while continuing to scrub the dishes.

“I’m gonna go lay down…Okay?” I think I said.

“Pfft, alright, I’ll be there in a few.” She replied.

“Okay…Mwah.” I sleepily gave her cheek a kiss before heading to the bedroom.

I don’t even remember getting into bed. All I knew is that I was out like a light and wandering in dreamland.