The Trash Returned from Warhammer

True freedom lies in jumping out of the necessity of fate and choosing the future with one’s own will?

Kaworu Nagisa’s red pupils contracted. There was no need for a long-winded lecture; a single sentence was enough to point out the answer. Kaworu felt as if he had jumped out of a cage and seen a much broader world. A line from a book flashed through his mind:

”Not within the Five Elements, jumping beyond the Three Realms.”

He suddenly understood where Shinji’s attraction lay. The ”Second Child” often said, ”He really doesn’t look like an Earthling,” which was actually a compliment. What attracted Kaworu was precisely this absolute freedom, because from the very beginning, Shinji had jumped out of the script.

The protection of the Emperor was a reality. Since returning from his ”further studies” in the 40K universe, Shinji was still Shinji, but he had already jumped out of the 2K script and was no longer bound by the inevitability of fate. Therefore, it was inherently impossible for Gendo Ikari or SEELE to control him.

Another script was being written by his own hand. Shouldn’t this power, god-like in its magnitude, be attractive?

”So, the freedom I seek has such height; it is a freedom above the root of all things.”

Kaworu murmured to himself. Their conversation had already entered a philosophical depth that no one else could possibly understand.

”Yes, true freedom is jumping out of the cycle of souls, shaking off the predetermined script, and using your own hands to control destiny, rather than having both life and death planned out by others. That is true freedom—absolute liberation.”

”Then, can I fight against fate with you?”

Kaworu’s eyes were filled with longing.

”No, and you shouldn’t. This is my will, and it is my path. I am only responsible for telling you my understanding of freedom. As for how to find it, that is your business.”

It was still a cold tone, but the effect was ten times stronger than ”fight with me,” because it was fundamentally impossible for Adam and humanity to fight side-by-side, and Shinji would never keep a ticking time bomb by his side.

That would be too unprofessional. And as for some platonic love between boys? Would you like to take a few bursts of bolter fire?

Kaworu pondered quietly, sometimes regretful, sometimes depressed, but in the end, a glimmer of hope appeared in his eyes.

He had come to Tokyo-3 specifically to seek the answer to what freedom was, hoping to become friends with Shinji and explore it together. Only after observing him did he realize that the latter didn’t need that at all.

He had already jumped out of the inevitability of fate; he was absolutely free, the ultimate form he longed to become.

”I understand. I will go and find this path. Thank you, Shinji-kun.”

”You don’t have to thank me. This is a reward for your instinct to resist. Before I change my mind, leave.”

Shinji waved his hand and sat back down.

Kaworu took a deep look at the back in front of the campfire. He had done his best, and Shinji hadn’t given him the chance to become friends, but he felt no resentment.

This wasn’t a boy who needed the understanding or approval of others; he was a warrior with a heart of steel, an Angel of Death of the Emperor, the supreme realm he was pursuing.

”Wait.”

Having just taken a few steps back, Kaworu stopped abruptly. He turned back, full of hope, only to see something dark fly toward him. He instinctively reached out to catch it, only to realize it was a skewer of grilled fish.

”Since you’re here, don’t go back empty-handed. Take it and eat.”

Shinji still didn’t turn around.

Kaworu froze for several seconds, looking at the grilled fish, then at the back by the campfire. He placed a hand over his chest in a salute and retreated into the shadows.

He left content. For Kaworu, this trip had been worthwhile. On the entire Earth, only Shinji could lecture him, and yet it made so much sense, resolving many of the confusions he had harbored since his birth.

With the soul of an Angel and the heart of a human, his mission and his will to pursue freedom had tormented him every moment. He had once thought about falling in love with someone and using selfishness to fight against his mission, but Shinji had told him that selfishness wasn’t necessary.

Using a will of steel to fight against the shackles that bound him and tearing apart the inevitable fate—that was true freedom.

”He thinks about things more than I do.”

Rei Ayanami reached out, her pale cheeks full of confusion.

”Rei, have you never been confused?”

”Yes, but I was only confused about whether to build bonds with others. Later, I stopped thinking about those questions.”

Rei tilted her head and replied. Seeing Shinji hand her a grilled fish, she instinctively took a bite and narrowed her eyes in comfort.

”But I’m different from him. Ikari-kun helped me take the first step and also resolved my confusion.”

This was the biggest difference. From being closed off to interacting with others, Kaworu was stuck at this step. He learned too much from humans, and the more he learned, the more confused he became. It would have been better to just be a normal Angel and follow his instincts to kill.

Rei Ayanami had better luck. She didn’t need to be trapped in self-doubt; she just needed to follow in Shinji’s footsteps.

”But is this really okay? There was an opportunity to win without fighting earlier.”

”Simply resolving one Angel doesn’t have much meaning. If I wanted to kill him, I would have done it already.”

Shinji threw a few branches into the campfire and clapped his hands. ”I had no intention of deceiving him. To fight against inevitable fate, one must kill gods and defy the long-determined script. As the vessel for Adam’s soul, I cannot turn Kaworu into a puppet, and keeping him by my side is too much of an uncertain factor. If the 13th Angel is abnormally strong, there’s a risk of it backfiring.”

”So you pointed him toward a bright path?”

”Hmm, an inevitable path toward loyalty. As for how to do it specifically, he will help me find a way. After all, he is the soul of Adam, more useful than SEELE. It’s just a pity that those old men are too cautious and still didn’t send Unit-03.”

Rei blinked, thinking the boy next to her was exceptionally cunning. This effect was even better than cooperation, and it didn’t carry the slightest risk. She suddenly smiled.

”What are you smiling at?”

The girl hugged her snow-white calves, resting her head on her knees, her tone carrying a hint of coquettishness.

”I am very happy that Ikari-kun’s orientation is normal.”

.

.

.

The car was speeding along the highway, and the group was fast asleep. No one knew that an Angel had visited the previous night.

’Damn, I overdid it.’

Asuka was still humming and hawing. She had played too hard while diving, and when she wanted to execute her plan in the evening, she couldn’t get up. What was worse, she had heard the class monitor and Ibuki whispering, learning that Rei Ayanami had spent the whole night alone with that idiot Shinji, and her heart almost stopped on the spot.

It was over. Forget about sneaking ahead—she had even forgotten to keep watch! And the Rei Ayanami sitting next to her was as expressionless as usual. She had snuck a peek dozens of times and couldn’t see a single clue.

”Tell me, what did you do last night?”

Rei, who was pretending to sleep, opened her eyes, glanced at the nervous girl next to her, and closed them again.

”Tell you what? Usually, even when I go to the bathroom, you’re crouching outside the door. Is Agent Soryu losing her touch this time?”

’I just played too hard in the afternoon and couldn’t get up in the evening! It’s all that idiot’s fault, he made me hold back for days, and once I let my guard down, it all blew up.’

Asuka shifted the blame on the spot, her teeth itching with hatred, but she couldn’t do anything about this doll-like girl. She lowered her voice.

”You confessed, didn’t you?”

”Mm.”

”Heh heh, you really didn’t dare... wait? What did you say?”

Asuka’s eyes widened instantly, her face full of disbelief.

First came extreme regret—she had relaxed for just a little while, and Rei had taken advantage of it. Then came extreme tension; a familiar scene lingered in her brain.

She had gone to attend Shinji and Rei’s wedding, feigning calmness as she offered her blessings, even finding someone halfway to pose as her boyfriend to make it look like she was happy, too. But back home, she could only hold her pillow and cry.

’Be strong, Asuka. Even if you lose, you must do it with dignity. You must have the composure of an adult; you cannot be looked down upon by others.’

Seeing Asuka’s eyes lose their luster, Rei was stunned.

’No way, where did your usual attack power go? You’re a glass cannon that shatters before it even fires, right? Wait, no, I haven’t even told you the result yet, and you’ve already imagined a catastrophic outcome?’

”Do you want to know the result?”

”What does your business have to do with me? Do you want to say it out loud to trample on my self-esteem? Give it up, I won’t get in your way in the future.”

Asuka turned her head to look at the scenery, expressing a wealth of emotions in a single sentence.

It was a hedgehog-like defense, an incredibly high sense of self-esteem and deep unwillingness; she was more like a stack of powder kegs, struggling to maintain her final dignity, ready to explode at any moment.

She was truly the person who could say the famous lines: ”I hate Papa, I hate Mama, I hate Shinji, I hate everyone.”

”My confession did not succeed.”

”Don’t console me... wait, you didn’t succeed?”

That was fast. The little head that had been looking at the scenery snapped back instantly, her face wearing a different kind of disbelief—well, the kind filled with schadenfreude.

Rei immediately clenched her fists, feeling that her sympathy from just a moment ago was very undeserved. She wanted to ignore her, but she knew she couldn’t escape.

”How could that be? Your success rate must be high. Tell me quickly, what happened? So I can learn from your mistakes later.”

’You know it’s high, so you’re just here to stir up trouble, right? Learn from my mistakes? You even want to use me to summarize your experience?’

Rei gripped her fists even tighter and said sullenly, ”Someone confessed to him before I could.”

”Who?”

”Kaworu Nagisa.”

”That stalker?!”

Asuka was terrified and could no longer suppress her voice. Her scream woke up everyone in the car. Then, she stared at the front seat, covering her mouth as if she had discovered a huge secret.

’Wait, the stalker is a boy, right? How does that work? Right, could that guy be... so that’s why he’d rather go train with the soccer club than look at my new swimsuit with lecherous eyes?’

Seeing Asuka’s eyes lose their luster again, Rei wanted to explain, but everyone was asking what had happened. How could she explain that? She could only look toward the front seat and see a pair of sharp eyes in the rearview mirror.

Shinji was no loser from a campus anime; he had naturally heard everything and almost crushed the steering wheel. Looking at Asuka’s terrified expression, he took a deep breath.

’I must communicate with Unit-02’s soul. If I don’t fix this glass cannon, I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop myself from loading the bolter.’

He then transmitted a message to Rei with a stern gaze:

’Now, immediately, right this instant, explain this black pot clearly!’

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