My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2024: Chapter 1817: Joy

Simple pleasures, the essence of a happy little life!

Ran Zhihan heard her husband say these words repeatedly and felt that if she didn’t take this chance to be a bit proud, she might lose her place in the family. Though having a place wasn’t crucial to her, what mattered was whether she could be by her child’s side for life.

Yet at this moment, she suddenly felt that without a place in the family, she wouldn’t have any ability or qualifications to stay and accompany her child. She didn’t ask for much, just to be with her child peacefully. Perhaps such a request seemed reasonable to others, but it felt overly extravagant to her, as she simply couldn’t manage it. If one day they truly drove her out, what would she do? Again, no one ever considered a mother’s feelings; people were eternally selfish.

Zhang Yichen seemed completely oblivious to his wife’s expression. At this moment, their relationship suffered with some form of provocation. The originally loving life they shared would one day erode from mutual doubt, even if they were once so in love and trusted each other deeply. But once someone interferes, the previously happy marriage can only head towards its own demise.

”Zhihan, let’s go home. It’d be wonderful to witness our son’s growth together, wouldn’t it? Stop being angry, it’s not worth it. Ruining your health and worrying me isn’t worth it either. Surely you can’t bear to see me, your husband, worried too? You’re so understanding; you should perceive what should or shouldn’t be done. Only by figuring out how we should interact can this marriage be even happier. I know I haven’t trusted you enough, but you never thought of how painful it was for me inside when those things happened. I’m not a saint; I have emotions too. I can’t reconcile with my wife having connections, however thin, with other men!”

”Stop right there. You speak so nicely, but do you know how much hurt you caused me when you made a mistake? You never contemplated the pain in my heart. You lacked any consideration for my feelings. Why bother uttering these insincere words now?

Furthermore, I haven’t agreed to forgive you, so where does this notion of us living happily even come from? You admit yourself you don’t trust me that much. Without trust between us, how can we continue living together? Reflect carefully on what each of us must do to genuinely maintain the happiness of this marriage.”

”I already said it wasn’t deliberate of me to doubt you, but some things force me to think more. I’m a man too; I have self-respect. If I could discard even that, what’s my purpose living in this world? Every person thinks differently; all I want is to calmly live the life I envision. Why can’t you understand the pain I endure inside?”

”You still feel wronged by me. Your pain, but did your words not inflict pain on me as well? You’ve hurt my pride too, you know? I thought as long as I loved you enough, as long as I had enough confidence to live a lifetime with you, it’d be sufficient. But no matter what I did, in your eyes it was just a dream!

All my hopes for you were squandered by your distrust, eroding everything. Do you think a life without a happy marriage is meaningful? I’ve no clue if there’s any reason left for us to continue. Perhaps you seek forgiveness only for appearance’s sake concerning our child. But don’t you know every word, every action from you matters to me because I care about you? I care about you so intensely that even your thoughts matter to me!

Perhaps you can’t comprehend this concern, because you’ve never cared for me this way. But do you know how much I care for you? I’d forfeit everything for you. Why then, can’t you? I yearn for us to genuinely be together someday, but for you, this may seem too extravagant, too hard. Yet, my inner turmoil is deeper than yours, do you understand?”

”So, what do you need for forgiveness? It’s not just my fault either. You never think about whether these events would cause me pain?

Have you considered what impact such matters might have on me? You’re always so arrogant, self-centered, never considering my feelings. I’m a living, breathing person. I also experience headaches, I also feel my nerves unfurling, akin to an impending explosion. You’ve never felt the exhaustion that stems from work. I’ve arranged everything for you at home; all you need to do is stay home with our child. But you did such hurtful things, even went out and hurt me. I don’t want to dwell on the past anymore. I just wish the past would drift away like the wind and never return. Yet you repeatedly rub salt on my wounds; your lack of trust in my sincere intent to live life with you is evident. Maybe you don’t even care, but I do about our marriage. I care if our child can be loved happily by both parents.

You should understand more than anyone that I was a child without parental love, working tirelessly for everything I have today. I don’t want my son to suffer like that because of these events. But you’ll never care how a father yearns for his child to live with happiness; you don’t consider the struggle. I’ve sacrificed much for this family, just hoping everyone could live richly and not worry about food and clothes. But have you thought about what my struggles are for?”

Regardless of your forgiveness, at least for the sake of our child, don’t let this hard-earned marriage crumble...”

Sometimes, what we desire isn’t easily gained; many things aren’t easy to let go.