My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2355: Chapter 2188: Born for Love

The countless heartless mockeries have left me shattered.

Zhang Zhentian knows deep down what his wife is thinking, but some things are really hard for him to say. Everyone has their own dignity and face, and everything that everyone does will be affected, with equal consequences. No one is truly willing, yet he lives on, feeling utterly exhausted. Is living really so painful for him? Why can he never find the life he wants? Why must he endure such a miserable life? Although he knows the outcome of his life, in the end, he can only be submerged in pain, living in eternal suffering, never seeing the light of day.

Xia Jing sensed Zhang Zhentian’s inner feelings. He knew that maybe he shouldn’t have said it so bluntly, as it really harms the harmony of the family. He apologized to his father.

”Zhentian, I’m sorry. I know that hearing this kind of words from your wife would make you feel miserable. But I really don’t want to hide my inner feelings anymore. I just want to live with the person I love the most. If my beloved boyfriend could return to me, I would abandon everything. I wouldn’t even care about my life. If time gave me a chance, I would rather stand in the middle of the road, let all the cars run over me, shatter me to pieces, just to see the man I love the most one last time in the hospital. For me, that would be the happiest thing. If I can see him look at me one more time, I would be content. A person’s life might be too full of difficulties; why must my life be so full of bumps? Can’t I just live happily at least once? Time and again, life has pushed me into the depths of despair. My actions have destroyed all my happiness with my own hands.

The roots of my happiness were buried by me. I don’t know how many wrong things I’ve done in my life, nor how many people I’ve let down, but I know that this time I truly fell for someone. When you fall for someone, you better forget about winning. I understand that from the moment I realized I truly had feelings for him, I knew I wouldn’t have a chance to win, because my heart belongs to him. Wherever he goes, my heart follows, even to the ends of the earth. ℯℯ𝘭.

I don’t even know how pathetic my life has been. The person I want is never mine, the career I want to achieve never goes smoothly. I just want to know why, in the same country, I have to go through so many experiences and setbacks. The person I want left me, and the career I aspired to crumbled. I want to live happily, yet I continuously struggle in countless dark nights, crying for help, hoping my bright life could save me, but my bright life can only come from her, my first love boyfriend!”

”Forget it, whatever I say won’t get through to you either. I don’t want to meddle in the matters between you and my son anymore. Do whatever you want, just hope that in the end, everyone shows mercy and doesn’t do things that make each other even more sad. Can’t past things just become the past? Must they be brought up over and over again, making everyone else feel miserable too?”

”I have thought about it, but for him, I could risk my life. The moment I got drunk, even if it meant being hospitalized, I already knew I was deep in and unable to extricate myself. I didn’t know how to make my presence felt, so I chose to hurt her. But surprisingly, hurting her ended up causing my own suffering. When will the thousand-year wait finally end and bring him back to me? I don’t know. I call him over and over, but my number is completely blacklisted. Who can understand my despair, my pain? When I saw him delete all of my information and records, who could comprehend my despair then? Again and again, I warn myself not to make mistakes, just stay happy with him, why must everyone be unhappy with me? But in the end, I let him down, I lost him. Thinking of all the times we’ve spent together, the moments we shared, how painful my heart must be. The night scenery that seems splendid to others is sorrowful, dim, and colorless in my eyes. I cannot see any light in the utter darkness. I only know I am truly in pain. It has become a dark place in my heart, an eternal darkness, with no way to find light, unless he can come back to me!

Perhaps none of you can fully understand my pain in this life, but I truly want to tell you that I love him. I love him so much that I disregard everything. I love him enough to sacrifice my life for him. I love him enough to throw away everything I care about. But ultimately, I can’t keep him by my side. How incompetent must I be to fail to hold onto the one I love the most? I’ve thought about how I can win him back?

Even if I made a mistake, no matter how heaven treats me, I can only choose to accept all of heaven’s punishment, because I have no right to choose.

I won’t bring up these matters again. I’ll think about how to live happily, but I have no way to make myself happy. As soon as I close my eyes, my mind is filled with images of holding hands with him. Over the years, I’ve never forgotten the joyful times we spent together. The happiness we shared in this life was the happiest moments of my lifetime. Perhaps those days are no more, but my heart will forever love her, no matter where she is, no matter if he eventually marries and has children, I will love her for a lifetime, never forgetting. This kind of love is deep-rooted, a love that comes from the heart, a love that can’t be erased by anything. Perhaps time will prove everything, but time is also a liar!”

”How much I let myself suffer, never rely on time. Time brings only pain, it can never heal your heartache. I paralyze myself once and again, just to live a life where I never have to worry about everyday needs, but ultimately, everything turned into something else. Everything is the consequence of my own actions; I can’t blame anyone, my life is truly consumed by suffering!”

Wherever there is love, there is home!