My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1647: Chapter 1441: The Source

When a person is busy, they don’t know where all their suffering truly originates.

Zhang Yichen had never seen his grandfather lose composure like he did today. Maybe the grievances buried deep within his heart for so many years could finally be unleashed today. He could clearly remember how his grandfather often held a photo and silently wept, speaking softly to himself as he held that picture alone. Locked away in his own space, he always appeared so bright and lovable to the outside world, never burdening others with his negative energy. All he wished was for others to be happy and content, but he never considered how much pain he endured in solitude.

Sometimes I wonder, if I had shown my grandfather a little more care, would the outcome have been different? I have witnessed how difficult these years have been for him, how many times he has sacrificed for me, yet what have I given him in return? I couldn’t even provide him the basic joy.

If time could be rewound, would I think more carefully about what kind of life I should give my grandfather, what attitude I should adopt towards him? These years have been so painful, so heart-wrenching for him. No one knows that I have poured out all my sufferings, while my grandfather swallowed all his tears of bitterness, silently enduring so much on his own. And what have I been doing?

”Dad, no matter what, I hope you won’t say anything more heartless to grandpa. He’s really getting old and can’t bear another betrayal from his family. Could you show a little understanding, fulfill even the slightest filial piety? I would be grateful to you, do you know that? Do you realize how many people your actions have hurt? Have you ever considered the resentment your actions bring to you? You always think what you do is right, but is it really correct? Have you ever wronged him all these years? Has grandpa ever wronged you since the day you were born? Has he not provided you with a life of luxury, making sure you have no worries about food and clothing? Compared to others, you’ve been happier than anyone, even without a mother. Haven’t you ever felt that grandpa gave you all his love?

In fact, grandpa feels guilty towards you, which is why he put all the love he had for his wife onto you. But in the end, his hopes were dashed. You chose to leave and wander alone in foreign lands instead of staying by his side. Isn’t he heartbroken and devastated inside?

In everything you do, you never consider his feelings, so how could he stand in your shoes and think about things from your perspective? People are all about mutual empathy. Since you can’t treat others as your family, don’t expect them to constantly forgive all your mistakes. He doesn’t owe you that.

If you returned to this family just to harm father, harm me, harm everyone at home, then congratulations, you’ve achieved your goal, your wish has been fulfilled. But I beg you, please spare grandpa. No matter how much you harm me, I won’t hold a grudge. I can pretend nothing happened, that I brought this upon myself. But grandpa doesn’t owe you anything at all.”

”Why do you still push all the blame onto me? Does that mean everything I’ve done is wrong? Haven’t my desires been the same as yours? Why do you always selfishly believe your thoughts are completely correct and different from others?

I never intended to come home to take revenge on you for shutting me out. I genuinely wanted to return to accompany you. The final outcome was beyond my expectation, and I have no control over the harm it caused me. Again and again, I shamelessly pleaded to stay, but ultimately, what did I gain? I got nothing, only inflicted all this pain upon myself.

You may think I’m truly selfish, never considering things from your perspective. But do you understand? If I hadn’t tried to view things from your standpoint, why would I have approached things this way, why would I have said these things, why would I have placed you in the deepest part of my heart time and again?

You are my family, an unchangeable conclusion in this lifetime. Everything I do is in hopes that everyone at home can be happy and joyful, longing for a safe and happy family. But in the end, my hopes were completely shattered. Don’t you think I’m disappointed? Don’t you think I’m in pain, in despair?

You think I’ve imposed all my suffering on you, but haven’t you imposed your troubles on me as well? Haven’t I suffered enough pain and harm throughout the years? Haven’t your actions shown even a hint of selfishness? Don’t judge others with your own mindset. Perhaps your actions aren’t the right ones. Acting this way only wrongly accuses others, pushing away those who love you the most.

Deep down, you didn’t want me to leave, did you? Then why did you treat me this way? Again and again, what have you gained except pain and hurt? You’ve gained nothing, piling everything upon yourself. You always think what you did was right, but in the end, you’ll find out that every action you took was wrong, for you’ve hurt every family member around you.

No matter what, today I want to make it clear to you that I never intended to hurt you. I merely didn’t know how to avoid harming you with my repeated actions. It was neither intentional nor deliberate. I only made unintentional mistakes, which led to this outcome, this repeated consequence. Do you really think I don’t regret it deep down?”

Only after experiencing true pain do you discover what you truly desire?