My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1618: Chapter 1412: A Door

Enduring the night’s cold alone, the night is too cold.

”Yichen, I actually understand in my heart that I am also at fault for this matter. The blow it gave you was indeed significant, but do you know? After this happened, I felt so guilty and so regretful for choosing to trust him, for drinking with him. I believed he was a gentleman, that he wouldn’t do anything beyond his character to me, but I wasn’t careful enough, gave him an opportunity. This was my mistake. If you blame me, I have nothing to say, but please try to understand my position. Consider things from my standpoint. If this happened to you, how could you remain indifferent? If you watched your own husband ridiculing you coldly in front of your eyes, not even bothering to raise an eyebrow at you, would your heart feel at ease?

You say you’ve been living in pain during this time, but what about me? Haven’t I also been living in pain? My inner torment is no less than yours, on the contrary, it’s even more. I face my guilt, my remorse, and I must face you, the man I love the most, but I can only stay silent. Because if I explain, things will get worse. I don’t want that to happen. I just want to be with you. Why can’t you understand my heartfelt intentions?

Regardless of whether you believe the words I’m saying today, at least believe that it’s because I truly love you inside. I don’t know the right words to express this to you, but do you understand how much I care about living with you for the rest of my life? I’m a woman, not a god; I cannot sever all emotions and desires. I can only move closer step by step to my heart because I believe the choices I make from within are correct. I believe I won’t love the wrong person. I believe you are the most worthwhile person in my life.”

Zhang Yichen didn’t know what to say. Was he truly being overly cynical and suspicious? Did he truly make no mistakes in this matter from start to finish? But why does his heart still feel so miserable? What’s the purpose of everything he did? Is it really just because of such a small matter that all love must be completely extinguished? He couldn’t do it. But could he easily forgive her? His heart couldn’t forgive.

Conflicted, agonizingly so, on one side was his beloved wife, on the other side was morals and principles. In the end, he undoubtedly chose family honor. He knew his grandfather was a man who cared about face; he couldn’t allow this matter to disgrace the family’s entire reputation. The arduous efforts of building a Hundred-year-old family were clear. But how could he be selfish and allow a family built painstakingly by his grandfather to crumble just because his own marriage was troubled?

”Wake up, don’t say anything. The more said, the worse things get. But I hope you understand, I don’t know how to speak about this or if I should forgive you, but you should know, for family and my dignity, I can only choose family. Because the family’s dignity is so hard to uphold, I cannot let grandpa’s face shatter, I cannot let my grandfather’s painstakingly built reputation for the family be destroyed, the honor of a Hundred-year-old family is very important, I trust you understand that too. My decision now is to provide us both a way out. I really can’t just act indifferent.

You say it was unintentional, that you shouldn’t have believed what he said, but if you didn’t have the slightest thought of being with him, why would you listen to his sweet words and genuinely drink with him? Deep down, there was a small desire to experience what that feeling might be like, but you didn’t expect my power was so great, that I could easily investigate every single thing you’ve done. Sorry, maybe my power being overbearing made you feel insecure.”

Ran Zhihan knew this was Zhang Yichen’s way of forgiving her, yet there was a barrier in his heart he couldn’t overcome for now, she couldn’t push it too hastily.

All things need to move slowly. If she pushed too hard, it might backfire. He couldn’t bear any risks; perhaps his heart genuinely didn’t know what to do. Yet facing her beloved, she still periodically let go of her pride, pleading again and again. Maybe in the end, she won’t achieve the result she wants, but at least she tried earnestly, with no regrets.

”Let’s leave it at that; let this matter end without further ado as time passes, and let no one mention it again. But my heart will not forgive you so easily. How to proceed in the future depends on you. Remember, don’t let grandpa know. I don’t want his heart burdened. He’s already worried enough for us. He gave his whole time for my sake; I can’t let him keep worrying because of my matters.”

”I know. Don’t worry, I absolutely won’t tell grandpa about this. On the contrary, in the future, I will take good care of you, of grandpa, and of this family. I’ll no longer run around recklessly. I’ve learned my lesson. I finally understand human nature; I won’t naively believe that everyone in the world is kind to me or wants to be my friend wholeheartedly. I won’t be the fool thinking no one will betray me, but the truth is, people can’t compete with destiny, and some will do anything for money. I’ve come to realize, a peaceful life at home is best. Supporting a husband and educating children is enough. I don’t have many skills or knowledge, but I at least recognize what should and shouldn’t be done. Never again will such a thing happen. You can choose to completely trust me or not trust me at all, but I will prove everything with my actions. Thank you for letting this matter quietly pass!”