My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1627: Chapter 1421: Threat

”I know, how could I not know? It’s precisely because you’ve sacrificed so much for me that I feel guilty in my heart. Over the years, how much harm have I brought to you, don’t you know? You obviously know that many times I’ve been using your feelings for me, but even knowing this, you’re still willing to stay with me wholeheartedly. What can I even say to you?

Sometimes you clearly know, time and again, I’ve said cruel and heartless words to you, just to vent my anger, not wanting to suppress my own frustration deep down. When I’ve been upset elsewhere, I let it out on you, do you really have no complaints in your heart?

You are my husband, but I have never fulfilled even the slightest duty a wife should for you over these years. I’m always contradicting you, always doing things to hurt you, and yet you stay by my side, all in hopes that we could live happily, forgetting all the pain. All that you remember are our most beautiful memories together!”

”Xia Jing, we are husband and wife. You are the woman I love most deeply. No matter when or where, neither of us should say thank you to the other because that thank you might truly ruin the nature of our relationship. Once that thank you is said, the relationship is already changed, distanced!

We all live happily together, and no one should think about past unhappiness. Forget all the pain and troubles, as long as we are happy in the future, why care about so much of the past rights and wrongs? What’s the use of entangling yourself in so much, when ultimately you still walk a path different from others?

Because I’ve long understood, all the paths in this world are walked by oneself. No one can neatly arrange those paths. The mistakes we made, we must bear all responsibilities and pain ourselves. We’ve forgotten what kind of days we’ve survived through, and we’ve gotten to where we are today step by step, so how can we easily give up?”

”I know, I don’t know if you truly love me in your heart, but over these years, you’ve clearly missed your child, missed your father, missed your whole family, but you never said it in front of me because you feared making it hard for me, you didn’t want me to be troubled. You just wanted me to live happily, but as your wife, how could I not know your inner thoughts?

You hid all your longing for home from me, just hoping that I could live happily outside. But you don’t realize that ever since I knew that you had this longing for home, my heart was already shaken. I don’t want you to be sad, don’t want you to be troubled. I want to take you back home, let everyone in the family forgive you, even if in the end I can only be driven out of the house, I would have no regrets, as long as you can return home, as long as you don’t have to live in pain like before. For me as a wife, that would be the greatest comfort in this world.

Don’t think I’m silly or that I’m doing anything for you. In fact, all I’m doing is just hoping you’ll always remember me, but instead, I use other ways to hurt you, just hoping you can leave me and return home. As long as I leave, you can go back home!

I watched our child grow step by step with my own eyes. I know exactly how sad, how painful it was for him, but I have no way to make up for the hurt I’ve caused him because I, as a mother, have been of no use. I don’t know how I, as a mother, should let my son live happily. Watching him being bullied by others, I wish I could go up and beat those other kids to death. I just want my child to be happy and carefree.

Every time I stand outside his school watching him go to class and after class, you know how happy I am? I want to rush up and hug him, but I can’t, I don’t have the courage. I’m afraid if I approach, he’ll choose not to recognize me, choose to push me away.

No one knows these wounds, but for me, they’re deeply entrenched. I know my child also wishes I could be with her to accompany her well, but I, as a mother, have only brought her harm!

Today it’s just the two of us here, and I choose to express all my heartfelt words to you. I don’t want these words to be heard by my son because if he hears them, he might think I’m being overly sentimental, obviously unwilling to see him, yet saying I miss him to others. But I sincerely want to live with him from the bottom of my heart.”

Zhang Zhentian sighed. How could he not know? How could he not understand how much his wife wanted to see her child? Every time his wife stood at the school gate, he stood behind her, never once being noticed by his wife. What she wanted was merely to silently see her child without being disturbed by anyone. He had seen his wife standing outside the school gate and secretly wiping her tears many times. How painful it was for him, as a husband, who could understand?

”Actually, all these years, when you stood outside her school watching her, I was always standing behind you, never letting you find out. I’ve seen you cry when you saw her. I know your heart still aches deep down, but you have no way to express it. You can only cover up your longing for her with a cold, hard heart, wanting only for your son not to recognize you as his mother.

I believe that deep in your heart, you still love her. No matter what you’ve done over the years, your longing for her has never lessened. Even if they truly don’t accept us, we can leave once again, but this time I won’t abandon them. I’ll visit often, I’ll just live in a different place from them, determined to give everything to seek forgiveness from father. As long as we can live happily together in this home, even if I’m just a slave, a humble servant, I can accept it. As long as they don’t shut me out, as long as they let me stay and see them happy, that’s enough!”