My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1642: Chapter 1436: Cat

”Do you really think now that you have become the kind of father you should be? Did you forget what you did before? Every mistake you’ve ever made, every hurt you caused others, can you truly pretend it never happened? Even if you could, I can’t accept it. If it were my child, whom I raised myself, I have the right to tell him what to do, I have the right to guide his actions. You never deeply intervened in his life. You’re not a perfect father, nor a competent one; you neither have the right nor the qualification.

Perhaps you think now you have the qualification to be his father, but have you considered that you were never part of his growth all these years? You were absent from every decision he made, every crucial stage. When he needed you most, you chose to evade, and when he was at his most capable, you chose to reappear in his life. Is this how a father should behave? This is cowardice and avoidance. Everything you did was from your own standpoint. When did you ever consider him even a little? Do you think his life was that easy? Every day he worked through was so difficult, and seeing his growth, one day you’ll find yourself shocked. You never stood by his side to consider all the pain he bore!

You think I have no right to educate your child, but as his father, do you have the right to discipline him? If you had been there by his side, watched his growth closely, witnessed his journey to who he is today, stood by him step by step through all he should have experienced, I would respect any decision you make. But now, does your decision deserve my respect? You haven’t invested, so you don’t know what love is; you don’t know what it truly feels like to love someone.

You never knew what it feels like to ache. Even if there was a moment when you did understand what it feels like, it wasn’t for your child; it was for the selfish consequences of your own choices that led to heartache. It’s why you regret every decision you made.

Sometimes I even wish, at that moment, choosing between you and me, you’d choose to be selfish for life and never regret. Maybe then, he would feel differently, his internal hurt would be of a different magnitude. But now, what does he have left? You hurt him so deeply he’s scarred, his whole being is wounded by you, yet you cruelly rip open his scars, sprinkle salt on them. Is that what parents should do?”

Zhang Zhentian faced his father’s questioning, yet found himself truly speechless at that moment. Indeed, what right did he have to manage or engage in any of his affairs? All he ever wanted was the most ordinary of relationships, but he never gave him what he desired—a safe, happy life filled with joy.

But everything he should have owned, he never had because of me. Moreover, I repeatedly destroyed everything he was meant to have. What am I? Why did I turn everything into what it is now again and again? Why would I repeatedly use such ways to hurt those dear to me, whom I sought to protect the most? Could I truly be so obsessed? Absolutely not. What’s certain is that nothing I desire in this world cannot be achieved unless I’m too timid to try.

Zhang Zhentian never knew how much harm and pain his curiosity and ambition inflicted on his family. Seeing what they became, he believed it was all due to his actions and the outcome he caused single-handedly. Now, the deepest sorrow and pain in his heart were due to why he did not choose to stay by their side back then, but now he has no qualifications to say even the fairest words.

”Dad, why didn’t you choose to treat me differently? Do you know that when I saw over and over what you did; when I repeatedly saw my child hurt, did you really think I, as an elder, did not feel anything inside? I’m helpless; you know why I ended up here in the first place—it was for my so-called freedom and my own sky. If I hadn’t selfishly walked this path, why would I now have to go through all this hurt and pain? Am I willing? Actually, I’m the last person who wanted to see all this happen. I remember my life being so painful all too clearly. I don’t want my child to endure the same disappointment and pain again. I have been hurt once; why should I let my descendants experience the pain I once suffered?

Everything I did in this life might be right or wrong, but every choice I made was without error. Maybe I indeed walked a deviant path all my life, but I never regretted any choice like I do now.

You all think I’ve forgotten everything I once said, but I never did. Because I know everything lies within each of your hearts like a thorn, as it is an indelible wound in mine. Even so, don’t we all owe it to ourselves to live happily? Even if we brooded over our lives here, what impact does that have on others? What I can do is hope every family member attains the life they imagined in their hearts, and that each person can happily connect with me the way I envision. Would you be willing to see the current outcome, where everyone risks everything by doubting each other, never giving the other the most basic trust?”