My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1645: Chapter 1439: Consideration

No one will always consider your feelings, perhaps people in this world are just so heartless.

”Since you’ve already said it yourself, that man told you face to face that he has no feelings for you anymore. But why do you still stubbornly want to be with him?

Is it that I’ve treated you poorly, or am I not as good as her? Is it because I don’t look good, or have I wronged you somehow? Why do you do these cruel and heartless things to me?

In your heart, am I not even considered your husband? Is our family’s safety not even worth mentioning in your eyes? Where have you placed your family? Since you chose to start a family with me, you must take responsibility for it. Now, what do you take every person in this family as, just pieces to be taken or discarded at will?”

Zhang Zhentian was really getting angrier the more he thought about it. He never imagined his wife would turn out like this someday.

He didn’t understand how a woman who used to be so lively and cheerful in front of him had changed? Why does everything he says seem meaningless in her eyes, everything he does seems wrong?

Maybe he just didn’t know, when a person no longer loves another, no matter how determined that person is, it means nothing. It seems she’s always had him on her mind, but ultimately it’s all nothing.

”Don’t say that. During the time with you, I’ve been truly happy. You once gave me everything I wanted. You asked me and I could pay any price, but have you ever thought about what kind of life I really want? What kind of outcome will there be for us? Time and again, the results of unilateral decisions disrupt my life!

Have you ever thought about the life I want? I live each day in unbearable pain. Who has ever given me the happiness I want? Time and again, I am entangled in illness and torment. I want to achieve the life I desire, but what have you ever given me?

I once asked him if he could continue to cry for me, smile for me. But ultimately, nothing was exchanged. When I embraced him from behind once and again, you know inside I was cursing with pain. It hurt so much, so very much. I genuinely wanted to hold him forever and never let go. I yearned for time to freeze at that moment forever, but would heaven really pay attention to me? Of course not!

When I hugged her, I prayed within my heart again and again, pleading to the heavens to slow down time, or let it stay in that moment forever, never to move forward. But it didn’t happen; when I looked up, I realized time has passed, and he has turned away. At that moment, only I remain waiting silently in the original place. How lonely, how desperate I felt, who could understand?

You might think people shouldn’t be so selfish, but do you know what I want is just that simple? As long as I can stay by his side, I can forsake anything.

All these years I’ve always considered others first, but ultimately, what kind of result did I get? In my heart, it’s a failed outcome. No matter how much I consider others, what am I in their eyes?

I disregard the torment of physical illness to be with him, just wanting to see him smile once, even if my heart is bleeding. As long as he smiles, I can still be happy.

Perhaps you think I’m foolish, silly, and naive doing this, but do you know this is true love? Now I don’t need him to give me any affection, he doesn’t need to place his heart on me. As long as I give him my affection, give him my heart is enough. Regardless of whether I end up covered in wounds or achieve lifelong happiness, as long as I feel no regret, I am fulfilled. I’ve already lost him again and again, I truly don’t want to lose him again this time. If I lose her once more, I don’t even know how long I could still live...”

Zhang Zhentian never thought his wife could love that man so deeply, enough to disregard even her own life. In his eyes, what does he, as her husband, even count for? Is he just an emotional refuge time and again? Is it really just because of a transference phenomenon?

”I never imagined you could love her so deeply. You could give up everything for him, even your own life. How come you can’t do something like this for me once? Before, I remember when we were together, you acted like you loved me wholeheartedly. At that moment, I truly felt I had entered paradise of happiness, but eventually I discovered it was nothing but the beginning of a painful hell!

Even if you never want to be with me for your whole life, even if I truly don’t exist in your heart, can’t you consider my feelings? I just want to live this life healthily, with a bit of happiness, a bit of joy, no matter how little. But have I felt happy over these many years? No, I’ve wandered everywhere for you, traveling far and wide. For you, I gave up my entire family, endured the pain of longing for you.

I clearly know my father is waiting for his son to come home and see him for a while. I clearly know my father is there, eagerly awaiting for us to return home.

But despite knowing all this, for your happiness, I pretended not to know anything at all. Do you know how desperate I feel? Do you know how hard my father lives? You’ve never considered what kind of life we really want. Your decisions time and again ultimately are just for the selfish desires of your own heart!

Isn’t the truly selfish person actually you? Don’t you have any awareness at all of the things you’ve done?

Don’t delude yourself that others will forgive you because what you’ve done makes it impossible for others to forgive you for a lifetime. For your whole life, you’ll live in your pain, live in your own world, never come out, because for this lifetime there’s no way back, you won’t be able to exit. You’ll suffer the torment of pain, bear the heartache again and again, and ultimately you’re just suffering the consequences of your own actions!”

A lifelong friend is hard to come by.