My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1520: Chapter 1314: Devoured

Just took happiness away, leaving only loneliness. Only cigarettes will accompany me, watching the tears on the piano cry along with the melody. If you didn’t love me, you shouldn’t have held my hand so easily and been with me from the beginning. But now that song keeps playing, yet you’ve already left.

”Since you’ve already said it yourself, that man told you personally, he has no feelings for you at all, then why do you still cling to the idea of being with him?

Is it that I’m not good to you, or am I not as good as her? Is it that I’m not good-looking, or have I wronged you in some way? Why do you do these ruthless, unfeeling things to me?

In your heart is he the one you consider your husband, not me at all? Is it that the safety of our family means so little to you? Where do you place your family, since you chose to build a family with me in the first place, then you must be responsible for it. The way you are acting now, what do you take each family member for, just pieces you can discard as you wish?”

Zhang Zhentian was genuinely getting more and more angry the more he thought about it. He had never imagined that his wife would turn out like this one day.

He couldn’t understand how a once vibrant and cheerful woman had turned into this. Why was everything he said worthless in her eyes, and everything he did wrong?

Maybe all day long he didn’t know, when one person doesn’t love another anymore, no matter how angry that person gets, it has no effect. It seems like she still cares, but in the end, it’s nothing.

”Don’t say that. In the time we were together, I was really very happy. You once gave me everything I wanted. You asked and I could give up everything. But did you ever really consider the kind of life I wanted, what kind of conclusion we would have together? Again and again, the result of your autocracy interrupted my life!

Did you ever think about the kind of life I want? Every day I live in unbearable pain, who has given me the joy I want? I agonize repeatedly in illness and suffering, I want the life I desire, but what have you ultimately given me?

I once asked him if he could keep smiling and crying with me, but in the end, I can’t exchange for that. Each time I hugged him from behind, do you know my heart was cursing in pain? At that moment, it hurt so much, I really wanted to hold him forever and never let go, longing for time to stop at that moment forever. But would heaven really care about me like that? Not at all!

When I held her, I prayed time and again in my heart to Heaven, to let time slow down or stay at that moment forever, never to pass. But when I looked up, I found time had passed, and he still turned around. At that moment, it left me alone waiting silently, how lonely and desperate I was, and who could understand?

You might think people shouldn’t be so selfish, but do you know that what I want is just so simple, just to be able to stay by his side, nothing else matters to me.

All these years, I have always been thinking of others, but in the end, what result have I gotten? In my heart, this is a kind of failed result. No matter how much I think of others, in someone else’s eyes, what am I really?

I disregarded the torment of my illness and chose to be with him. All I wanted was to see him smile once from his heart, even if my heart was bleeding. But as long as he smiles on the surface, I can still be happy.

You might think I’m foolish and naive for doing this, but do you know this is true love? Now, I don’t need him to give me any affection, don’t need him to put his heart on me. As long as I give my feelings to him, give my heart to her, it’s enough, whether in the end, I get covered in bruises or achieve lifelong happiness, it’s all fine; as long as I am without regret, it’s enough. I’ve lost him over and over again, I really don’t want to lose him again this time. If I lose her again, I don’t even know if I’ll be able to live for long...”

Zhang Zhentian never thought his wife could love that man so deeply, to the point where she could give up her own life. What did he, as her husband, mean to her in his eyes? Did she see him as just a refuge for her emotions again and again? Was it really just because of a transfer of affection?

”I never thought you could love him so deeply, willing to give up everything for him, even if it means your own life. How couldn’t you do that for me once? I remember when we were together, you acted like you loved me very much, at that moment I really felt like I entered heaven of happiness, but in the end, I realized it was just the beginning of a hell of pain!

Even if you spend your whole life unwilling to be with me, even if in your heart I don’t exist, can you at least consider my feelings? I just want to live a healthy and happy life, even if it’s just a little bit. Yet, over all these years, have I ever been happy? No, for you, I traveled far and wide, wandered the world, gave up my entire family, and endured the bitterness of longing.

I clearly know my father is waiting for his own son to come home to see him, I clearly know my father is waiting with longing, waiting for us to return to the family.

But I clearly know all of this. For your happiness, I still chose to act like I know nothing, do you know how desperate I am? Do you know how hard my father has it? You never considered what kind of life we want; your decisions were always just for your own self-interest!

Isn’t the truly selfish person you? Is there any awareness in your heart for the things you’ve done?

Don’t hope that others will forgive you anymore, because what you’ve done ensures that no one can forgive you in this lifetime. You’ll live forever in your pain, within your world, without ever coming out again, because your life already has no return. You can only endure the torture of pain, suffer again and again from the heartache, but in the end, you’re just reaping what you’ve sown!”

Memories have stirred up all the pain, and blurred my eyes. I can’t see that we went the wrong way at the crossroads of happiness, our final love has turned bitter, and we are still persistently holding on. The sweetness we once had, what does it count for now?