My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1518: Chapter 1312: Farewell

Whose life isn’t spent in constant farewell, who can keep living the same uneventful life, no one can remain as they were.

When I walk alone down the street, when I helplessly sigh atop rooftops by myself, deep within my heart, who can truly understand the helplessness and sorrow?

Zhang Zhentian decided he needed to go out and say thank you to his son, he wanted to sincerely thank his grandson.

Though his presence had already turned the household upside down, they still were willing to let him stay. He repeatedly persuaded himself, though he couldn’t understand why they would want this, yet all of this is the outcome he desires most. No one wishes to leave once they’ve returned home.

The people in this family are his kin, no matter the time or place, he should stay by his family’s side, offering the warmest feelings, the most genuine care. Yet over these many years, what had he actually done? Ruthlessly abandoned his family and then chose to abandon them again.

Now she finally understood, in her father’s heart, when she uttered those words, how pained he must have felt. Deeply hurt, yet forcing himself to act indifferent. How sorrowful that must have been for her, yet now she never considered any of this. All she desired was the so-called freedom, willing to resort to any means to achieve her goals, even at the expense of hurting her family. Is this truly the decision she should make? Is this truly the path she should walk?

”Grandpa?”

Zhang Ni saw Zhang Zhentian walking toward him, thinking today he too should clear the air.

He didn’t understand what his grandfather was doing at the hospital. Was it to upset his mother? He truly didn’t want his mom to endure even the slightest bit of harm.

His presence caused such disharmony in the family time and again, yet he could only grit his teeth and let him stay, even now he was thinking about saying hurtful things, how could his mother accept that, especially as someone so strong-willed as her?

At this moment, his thoughts were chaotic. He wasn’t sure if letting such things happen would provoke his mother into doing something impulsive that he would regret for a lifetime.

If his actions did cause his mother harm, then how could he face society? How could someone who couldn’t protect his own mother have the right to protect those he loves, or have any reason to promise his family the happiest, most stable haven of love? That would be impossible.

”Child, I overheard your conversation with your father. I’m sorry, this is my fault, I deeply apologize. It’s because of me this family has become like this. Perhaps indeed due to my presence, the household issues never ceased. I don’t understand what to do, I keep thinking I just want to bring happiness to my family and the end result is quite the opposite, I bring you harm.

I was determined to leave this home, to stop living here, until you repeatedly pleaded with me and tried to keep me, that I realized how much I yearned to stay. Staying here is happiness itself. I’ve abandoned my happiness for so many years, never lived at home, never even shared a holiday meal with you. When I was abroad, I was so nostalgic for celebrating family holidays together. My body might be far, but my heart has always been with you. It made me sad, but in front of everyone, I could only put on a smile. I didn’t want your mom to feel pressured, I just want my wife to be happy. As long as she smiled, no matter how tough or tiring life is for me, it’s all worth it.

Maybe it’s my selfish thinking that led to this shameful situation. I turned everything into the very thing I didn’t want to see the most. Over and over, I became the type of person I detested the most, yet I have no way to change that. No way to pretend none of this ever happened. I just want everyone to live effortlessly, never tormented by temporary dilemmas. I hope with my capabilities, this family could look at me in a better light, but at last, I found out I’m not capable. I wouldn’t even compare to a tenth of my son, I’m the worst kind of father, exposing all my failures, and last year I failed with no chance at all.”

For the first time, Zhang Yichen heard his father acknowledge his failure, which was a rare progress in his eyes. His father was so proud, he had never admitted an error in judgment or recognized his views were wrong. But now, just to survive in this family, had he truly realized his mistakes? If he had recognized sooner, how great would it have been, his grandfather wouldn’t have suffered so much, he could have lived joyfully.

”Although I don’t know if the words you’re saying are truly sincere, or just something said for us to hear, when we heard you say these words, deep in our hearts we felt happy, felt joy, felt happiness, because at least you’ve had such an awakening, you at least understand what you did wasn’t necessarily all right. At least you regard everyone in this family as deserving of living together and not easily abandon us. We naturally can’t be ruthless or cruel, we just want everyone to live happily and joyfully, why do we have to change our outcomes again and again because of past hurts?

If grandfather knew you’ve had this awakening, acknowledging your errors, surely he’d be happy. Over the years he’s been afraid that you wouldn’t understand, that even if he wanted to tell you the whole truth he couldn’t, as it would backfire if you weren’t ready to understand. Speaking more would make you despise your family more, affirming your decisions as right, he couldn’t speak selfishly, couldn’t lay all the anguish upon the family for momentary harsh words.

The family must always come first, the family stands for prosperity, built over centuries. How could it be completely destroyed by such minor strikes?”

Beyond the heavens lie other heavens, there are mountains eternal and lands afar, when you stumble and fall, you still return to where you belong, when you have those insignificant matters in the city, miss the one you love, when you declare your dreams to the world, they may already be out of sight.