My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1129: Chapter 979: The Moment I Was Scared

”Sometimes I feel like you guys do it on purpose. When I watched my grandfather lose his temper with you that moment, I was truly scared. Did you know that day? Seeing my grandfather so out of character, I couldn’t believe he was my grandfather. He was never like that before. He lived his life quietly and peacefully, always worried about his children, yet in the end, he chose to say nothing.”

”Seeing my grandfather’s attitude that day, I realized his pain was much greater than mine. Perhaps all the grievances he’s kept inside for so many years finally found an outlet that day. He could clearly remember how his grandfather would often hold a photo and silently weep. By himself, he’d talk to the photo quietly, locking himself in his own space. Outwardly, he was always so cheerful and lovely, never burdening anyone with his negativity, only wanting others to be happy. But how much pain did he endure in silence? I never considered that.”

Sometimes I wonder, if I had shown my grandfather a little more care, would things have ended differently? How hard he lived these past years, I witnessed it again and again. He gave so much for me, yet what did I return? Not even the most basic joy.

If time could be turned back, would I think carefully about what kind of life I should provide for my grandfather, and how I should treat him? How much suffering and heartache he lived through these years, and no one knew he voiced all his pain, while my grandfather swallowed all his tears, silently bearing so much alone. What was I even doing?

”Dad, regardless of anything, I don’t want you to say more harsh words to grandfather. He’s really old, and he can’t bear the heartbreak of being betrayed by his family over and over again. Can you try to understand him a little, even just a smidgeon of filial piety, and I would feel grateful to you. I’m thankful to you, do you know that? How many people were hurt by everything you’ve done? Have you considered how much hatred you’ve carried behind you? You think you’re right, but is it truly so? Has he ever wronged you? From the day you were born, did grandfather ever treat you poorly? He gave you a life of comfort and ensured you had no worries. Compared to others, you were happier than anyone else. Even without a mother, haven’t you ever realized grandfather gave you all his love?”

Actually, deep down, grandfather feels guilty towards you, so he poured all his love for his wife onto you. But in the end, all his expectations from you came to nothing. You chose to leave and wander alone in foreign lands instead of staying here with him. Didn’t he feel wounded or hopeless deep down?

Everything you did, you never considered his feelings, yet how could he stand in your shoes and see things from your perspective? People should treat others with empathy, and since you can’t see others as family, don’t expect them to forgive all your mistakes again and again. He owes you nothing.

If you come back home just to hurt your father, me, and everyone else repeatedly, then I congratulate you for achieving your goal; you’ve gotten your way. But I beg you to be merciful and let grandfather be. No matter how you hurt me, I can let it go, pretend nothing happened, and take all the blame myself, but grandfather owes you nothing.

”Why do you still push all the blame onto me? Is what I’ve done truly wrong? Don’t I want the same things as you? Why are you so selfish to believe your thoughts are right and others’ are wrong?”

I never thought returning home was about revenge. I sincerely wanted to come back and be by your side. The final outcome caught me completely off guard; I had no way to control the harm it brought me. I begged you to let me stay home again and again, but in the end, what did I get? I ended up with nothing, all the pain I inflicted on myself.

You all may think I’m selfish, never considering things from your perspective. But do you understand? If I hadn’t put myself in your shoes, why would I have stayed and said all this to you? Why would I keep you all in the deepest parts of my heart again and again?

You are my family. This fate can never be changed. Everything I do is in hopes of bringing happiness to my family, yet all my hopes end up fruitless. Doesn’t that leave me feeling disappointed, in pain, despair?

You always feel I force my pain onto you, but haven’t you put your pain on me as well? Have I not endured enough hurt and suffering these years? All your actions aren’t entirely free of selfishness, are they? Don’t judge others by your own definitions. What you do might not always be right. Acting like this just wrongs others repeatedly and drives away those who love you most.

If you didn’t want me to leave, why treat me this way? Again and again, do you think you’ve gained anything from this hurt and suffering? You’ve gained nothing, only piled everything onto yourself. You always think you’re right, but in the end, you’ll find everything you did was wrong because your actions have hurt every relative close to you.

No matter what, today I hope to make it clear. I never intended to hurt you. It’s just my ways of doing things that unintentionally caused hurt. I wasn’t malicious or intentional, only committed inexplicable errors repeatedly that led to these outcomes. Don’t I feel remorse deep down?”

”That day, grandfather scared me for a moment, and in that instant, I was engulfed by my memories. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing was real...”