Back Then, I Adored You

The intermittent silence was slightly awkward, so Qin Zhi’ai broke it by asking, “Why are you in the hospital?”

Qin Zhi’ai hadn’t noticed that Gu Yusheng didn’t look well until she asked the question.

As he paused, she slightly frowned and was working up the courage to ask him if was sick, but he finally offered an answer before she could ask that question. “I’m visiting a friend,” he stated.

His response made her questions about his wellness counterintuitive, so she responded, “I see.”

Knowing that she was going to be an exchange student overseas, he steered the conversation to her mention of customs. “Did you get all your paperwork ready for customs?”

“Close. I’m waiting for the visa. I’m expecting it by next Monday,” Qin Zhi’ai replied.

“Okay,” Gu Yusheng paused a bit and asked, “When are you leaving exactly?”

“On the 29th,” Qin Zhi’ai answered.

Today was twentieth. She only got less than ten days left.

“That’s soon—only 10 days,” Gu Yusheng said.

After he thought for a moment, he then asked, “Didn’t you say your school starts on March 10th? Why are you leaving so early?”

“The professor suggested I get there early to have time to familiarize myself with the area.”

“I see.” Gu Yusheng stopped talking and watched something in a distance.

Silence overtook them again. As Qin Zhi’ai was about to say goodbye, her cell phone rang.

Qin Jiayan was calling her to let her know he’d arrived in Hangzhou. She reminded him about something and then ended the call.

Gu Yusheng neither saw who was calling her, nor heard anything Qin Qin Jiayan said on the phone, but he did know it was a guy she was talking to.

She looks and is talking so gently. Is this who she’s involved with… the man in her relationship?

Gu Yusheng was more than a little upset. He watched Qin Zhi’ai drenched in golden sunlight as his hands gripped into fists.

It was evident Qin Zhi’ai was leading a good life. She was involved with a respectable-looking man and was preparing to be an exchange student. Some might say she’d be better off marrying a rich man, but most would see her as leading a life rich in happiness and adventure.

Isn’t this what I want for her? She’s doing well in life. I don’t need to bother her anymore and just remember the good times from our past.

Gu Yusheng swallowed hard and looked down to stop to avoid seeing her face. He said quietly, “I have something to do later and so I need to go now.”

“Okay,” Qin Zhi’ai said, and then she smiled, saying, “Goodbye.”

Gu Yusheng had a lump in his throat from his sadness. He worked hard to gain control of his voice and said as quickly as possible, “Goodbye.”

Gu Yusheng did not go back to his hospital room after Qin Zhi’ai left.

Instead, he stood in the park and smoked his entire pack of cigarettes. As the sun approached the horizon, it became colder. He cleared his throat before letting out a long heavy sign, and then he turned around and went back to his room.

The nurse saw him walking back and followed him to his room, asking, “Mr. Gu, would you like your dinner?”

With no appetite, Gu Yusheng waved his hand at the nurse to signal her to leave. He laid on his new clean sheet and closed his eyes.