Back Then, I Adored You

To be honest, Gu Yusheng had been afraid Qin Zhi’ai was mad at him and wouldn’t talk to him anymore. He had been happy but also a little nervous about it. He had felt better after they had met again and she had smiled at him like nothing had happened.

The entrance exam to college was approaching, and Gu Yusheng had fewer and fewer chances to see Qin Zhi’ai, but he finally had gotten to see her the night he finished the exam.

He gave her a ride home on his bike. When he dropped her off at her house and was about to ride back, she called out, “Gu Yusheng.”

Her voice had slightly trembled, as if she was worried, but it had been the best “Gu Yusheng” anyone had called him in his life.

Later, after he had joined the army, he always could hear her calling his name in his dreams.

He had turned around to see her looking shy and nervous. She had been ambiguous about what she wanted to say for a while before she finally said it. “Do you have time the day after tomorrow? Would… would… would you like to see a movie?”

Her voice was like flowers blooming, making his heart race. Without hesitation, he nodded immediately and said, “Sure.”

At that moment, his sole commitment to join the military was shaken. When he returned home that night, although he intensely dreamed about seeing her, the next day he focused on his school exams, received his grades, applied to colleges, and eventually went off to college.

Throughout that time, he had always wanted to take her up on her offer for a movie and, knowing her birthday was coming up, he arranged with her to go to a movie and bought a necklace for her. However, he did not meet her at the movie, and neither did he give her the necklace.

He missed their date because he was hospitalized the morning they had arranged to meet.

His father had hit his mother with an iron stick, and, in trying to protect her, Gu Yusheng had been hit on his head and immediately passed out. He didn’t return to consciousness until two days later; their date had come and gone.

His injury allowed his parents to get along during his unconscious state, but within a few hours of his waking up, his parents had already begun to fight again.

As Gu Yusheng laid in his bed listening to his parents tear into each other with vicious words, he pulled the blanket over his head to escape the pain. In the dark, he thought about her and their future together while muffling the fighting of his parents.

Love is always wonderful in the beginning, but it has been known to go sour in as little as a day.

I am euphoric when I’m with Qin Zhi’ai, but…

What if we became as miserable as my parents in the future?

Instead of waiting for the future to simply happen to him and end up struggling with such pain, he resolved to not begin a relationship with Qin Zhi’ai that could turn into misery.

He had had a patriotic dream since he was a child.

On the day before he had begun his college applications, he had written “little lovemaker” and “patriotic dream” all over a piece of paper. Staring at it measuredly for some time, he finally scratched out a “little lovemaker” and circled a “patriotic dream.”

If I hadn’t seen her that last time before I joined the army…

If I hadn’t been so angry and fought with Jiang Qianqian for her that day…

If I hadn’t taken her home that day before I had to go rescue my mother…

If that night, we hadn’t had that heart-to-heart conversation while lounging on the grass…

We might have lost contact after the first time I stood up for her.