The Captain's Dirty Little Secret

Chapter 396: Chapter 396 - Awake

The waiting became quieter after the doctor left, but Roxie didn’t feel calmer. Karen’s heart was stable for now, and those words should have been enough to let her breathe, yet every time she closed her eyes she saw Karen’s body jerking against the hospital bed while Angela screamed beside her.

Even now, with the alarms gone and the doctors telling them Karen was alive, Roxie couldn’t convince herself that the danger had really passed.

Angela stayed pressed against her side, exhausted from crying, while Mason sat close enough to steady her whenever she started shaking again. Zac remained on Roxie’s other side with his hand wrapped around hers, his thumb occasionally moving across her knuckles.

Dylan had taken a chair across from them and barely spoken since the doctor left. Karen’s aunt sat several seats away after their argument, giving everyone enough distance to keep the waiting room quiet.

Nobody had the energy to fight anymore.

Nearly an hour passed before a nurse came through the treatment doors. Every head in their group lifted at the same time, and Roxie was already standing before she realized she had moved.

”Karen Bianchi?”

The nurse looked over the group. ”She’s awake. She’s still very weak and confused, so we’re limiting visitors, but she’s answering questions.”

Angela made a broken sound beside Roxie and immediately grabbed Mason’s arm. Karen’s aunt stepped forward and asked if she could see her, but the nurse glanced down at the chart in her hand before looking around the waiting room.

”She asked for Roxie.”

For a moment nobody spoke.

Roxie stared at her. ”She asked for me?”

”She said your name.”

Roxie looked automatically toward Karen’s aunt. After everything they had said to each other, she expected some resistance, but the woman only studied her for several seconds before stepping aside.

”Go.”

Angela caught Roxie’s hand before she could move. Her eyes were already filling again. ”Tell her I’m here. Tell her I stayed.”

Roxie tightened her fingers around hers. ”I will.”

Mason stood behind Angela, looking toward the doors with a strange nervousness Roxie had never seen on him before. ”Tell her I’m here too.”

”I will.”

Zac touched the middle of Roxie’s back and quietly told her to go.

She followed the nurse down the hallway, and every step away from the waiting room made her heartbeat louder. The hospital seemed different back there, quieter except for the hum of machines and the occasional voices coming from nurses’ stations.

Roxie kept her eyes forward until the nurse stopped outside one of the rooms. ”She gets tired easily, so keep the visit short.”

Roxie nodded and went inside.

Karen looked smaller than Roxie had ever seen her.

That thought hurt immediately because Karen had never felt small in any room. Even when she wasn’t talking, people noticed her. She carried herself like she had already decided she belonged wherever she was, usually with enough attitude to make everyone else believe it too.

Now she was pale against the hospital pillows, an IV running into her arm and wires disappearing beneath the gown. The monitor beside the bed showed a steady rhythm that Roxie was almost afraid to look at after what she had seen earlier.

But Karen’s eyes were open.

Barely, but open.

Roxie stopped just inside the door, and Karen slowly turned her head toward her.

For several seconds they only looked at each other.

Then Karen whispered, ”Hey.”

A laugh escaped Roxie at the same time tears filled her eyes. ”That’s all you have?”

Karen’s mouth moved slightly, almost a smile.

Roxie crossed the room and sat beside the bed. She hesitated before touching her because suddenly Karen looked fragile enough that even reaching for her felt dangerous. Then Karen slowly moved her hand across the blanket toward her, and Roxie grabbed it immediately with both of hers.

Her fingers were warm. Roxie looked down at their hands because that simple warmth almost made her cry harder.

Karen watched her quietly before asking, ”What happened?”

Roxie lifted her eyes. ”How much do you remember?”

”The car. You yelling at me.” Karen swallowed, her eyes drifting briefly toward the ceiling. ”Maybe the hospital.”

”That sounds about right.”

Karen looked down at the wires on her chest and then toward the monitor. Her brows pulled together. ”Why am I hooked up to all this?”

Roxie’s throat tightened.

Karen looked back at her. ”Rox.”

Roxie took a slow breath. ”Your heart went into a really dangerous rhythm after we got here. Your blood pressure dropped and they had to shock your heart to get the rhythm back under control.”

Karen stopped moving.

Roxie felt her fingers tighten weakly.

”What?”

”They shocked you twice.”

Whatever little color remained in Karen’s face seemed to disappear. She looked toward the monitor again, then back at Roxie as though she was waiting for her to say she had misunderstood.

”They shocked my heart?”

”Yeah.”

Karen stared at her for several seconds before her eyes filled. ”Did I almost die?”

Roxie wanted to make it sound smaller than it had been, but after everything that happened, lying to Karen felt impossible.

”The doctor said the rhythm could’ve become fatal really fast. They got it under control, though, and it’s been stable since then.”

Karen looked away as the first tear slid toward her temple. Her breathing changed, becoming shaky and uneven, while Roxie tightened both hands around hers.

”I nearly died,” Karen whispered. ”That was dumb.”

Roxie’s eyes burned. The words were her trying to make it light but the expression on her face made Roxie swallow the words she wanted to say.

Karen gave a tiny laugh that sounded more like pain. ”I really thought I knew my limit.”

”People usually thought.”

Karen closed her eyes briefly, and Roxie’s whole body tensed before Karen murmured, ”I’m awake.”

Roxie let out a shaky breath.

Karen opened her eyes again, and there was none of the anger Roxie had expected to see when she imagined this moment earlier. Karen looked exhausted and scared, like she finally understood that whatever control she thought she had was gone.

After a while she asked quietly, ”Was I alone?”

Roxie frowned. ”When?”

”When my heart did that. Was anybody there?”

Roxie’s chest tightened.

”No. You weren’t alone. We were all outside. Me, Angela, Mason, Zac, Dylan. Ethan stayed too.”

Karen blinked. ”Ethan?”

”Long story.”

A tiny breath of laughter escaped Karen, but it disappeared almost immediately as more tears filled her eyes.

”You all stayed?”

”Yeah.”

”Angela too?”

Roxie almost laughed at how ridiculous the question sounded after watching Angela nearly collapse outside the treatment room. ”Angela almost got herself thrown through those doors trying to get to you.”

Karen’s mouth trembled.

”She saw them shock you,” Roxie continued more quietly. ”She was hysterical.”

Karen looked away.

”I said horrible things to her. I can’t face her right now”

”You did.”

Karen turned back toward her, surprised by the blunt answer.

Roxie wasn’t going to pretend otherwise just because Karen was lying in a hospital bed. ”You hurt her. But she still spent hours looking for you and then sat outside those doors screaming your name because she thought you were dying.”

Karen’s face crumpled.

”I want to see her.”

”You will.”

”Is she mad?”

Roxie finally laughed through the tears. ”She’s fucking furious.”

The smallest smile appeared on Karen’s mouth before fading again. ”Good.”

Roxie frowned. ”Good?”

”She should be.”

That answer hurt more than Roxie expected.

Karen went quiet for a while before asking about Mason.

”He’s still here too.”

Her eyes shifted toward the blanket.

”He told me you called him this morning.”

Karen looked up sharply. ”What?”

”Before lunch.”

”I called him?”

Roxie watched confusion spread across her face. ”He missed it because we were in class.”

Karen stared toward the foot of the bed for several seconds. ”I don’t remember calling him.”

Roxie squeezed her hand.

”I don’t remember a lot of today.”

”That’s okay.”

Karen looked at her. ”No, it isn’t.”

Roxie didn’t argue because Karen was right.

The silence stretched between them until Karen finally asked the question Roxie had been dreading.

”My mom?”

Roxie hesitated.

Karen saw it immediately.

”She knows,” Roxie said.

”Is she here?”

Roxie’s silence lasted only a second, but it was enough.

Karen turned her face toward the window.

”Your aunt is here. Your mom talked to her, and your dad knows too.”

Karen gave a small nod.

There was no surprise in her face.

That bothered Roxie more than anger would have.

Karen looked like she had expected exactly this.

After another long silence, she turned back toward Roxie. ”Can I see Angela?”

”Yeah.”

Karen squeezed her fingers weakly. ”Will you come back?”

Roxie’s eyes filled again. ”You think you’re getting rid of me after all this?”

Karen almost smiled.

Roxie stood slowly, then leaned over and kissed her forehead. ”Rest. I’ll send Ange in before she destroys the waiting room.”

Karen’s eyes filled again. ”Rox?”

”Yeah?”

”I’m sorry.”

Roxie swallowed hard. ”We’ll deal with everything when you’re stronger. Right now you’re alive, and that’s enough.”

When Roxie returned to the waiting room, Angela was already standing. She searched Roxie’s face so desperately that Roxie answered before she could ask.

”She’s awake. Really awake.”

Angela immediately started crying.

”She asked for you.”

Angela stared at her. ”Me?”

”Yeah.”

She wiped both hands over her face and looked toward the nurse. ”What do I say?”

Roxie almost laughed. ”For once, I have no fucking idea.”

Angela gave a shaky laugh through her tears before following the nurse down the hallway.

Mason watched until she disappeared. When Roxie told him Karen didn’t remember calling him that morning, his face changed completely.

”She really doesn’t remember?”

”No.”

Mason rubbed both hands over his face. ”Jesus.”

”She knows you’re here.”

He nodded slowly but said nothing else.

Roxie sat beside Zac again, and he immediately took her hand.

”How is she?”

”Scared.”

”And you?”

Roxie leaned her head against his shoulder. ”I don’t know.”

”That sounds about right.”

She closed her eyes and finally allowed herself to sit there without thinking about where Karen might be or whether another phone call was coming. Karen was inside a hospital room, awake, with people watching her heart.

For the first time since chemistry class that morning, Roxie knew exactly where she was.

Angela returned nearly twenty minutes later with her face completely swollen from crying. Mason stood as soon as he saw her, and Angela walked straight into him, wrapping both arms around his middle.

”She’s awake,” she whispered against his chest.

”I know.”

”She’s really awake.”

Mason held her carefully while Angela cried again, then after a while she pulled back and wiped her face. ”She asked for you too.”

Mason froze. ”Me?”

”Yeah. Go.”

His entire posture changed as he looked toward the treatment doors, suddenly nervous in a way that would have been funny under any other circumstances. Angela touched his arm and told him again to go, and a few minutes later Mason disappeared through the doors.

While they waited for him, the emergency entrance opened.

A woman hurried inside, and Karen’s aunt stood immediately.

”Melissa.”

Roxie looked over.

Karen’s mother looked enough like her around the eyes that Roxie recognized the resemblance almost immediately. She appeared exhausted and frightened, with her hair pulled back messily and her coat only half buttoned as though she had put it on while rushing out the door.

She went straight to Karen’s aunt. ”How is she?”

”She’s awake.”

Karen’s mother covered her mouth and closed her eyes.

”Oh my God.”

For the first time since the aunt arrived, something in Roxie softened slightly.

The woman was crying before Karen’s aunt even finished explaining what happened. When she heard about the shocks, she grabbed the back of a chair as if she suddenly needed something to hold onto.

”Twice?”

”Yes.”

”Can I see her?”

”She’s with one of her friends.”

Karen’s mother looked toward their group.

Karen’s aunt said something quietly to her, and then the woman’s eyes found Roxie.

”You’re Roxie?”

Roxie stood. ”Yeah.”

For a moment Karen’s mother seemed unable to decide what she wanted to say first. ”You found her?”

”We all did.”

Her eyes filled again. ”Thank you.”

Roxie looked toward the treatment doors. ”She needed us.”

The words landed harder than Roxie intended.

Karen’s mother flinched slightly, and Roxie noticed.

She didn’t take them back.

”How was she when you saw her?”

”Scared.”

Karen’s mother looked down.

Roxie hesitated before adding, ”She asked if you were here.”

The woman’s face changed immediately.

”I came as fast as I could.”

Roxie nodded.

She hoped Karen believed that when her mother told her.

Twenty minutes later the emergency doors opened again, and this time a man walked in alone.

Karen’s aunt stood, followed by Karen’s mother.

The way they reacted told Roxie who he was before anyone said his name.

Karen’s father.

He looked toward Karen’s mother first, then the aunt, before scanning the waiting room. He appeared controlled when he walked in, but the moment Karen’s aunt told him his daughter had needed two electrical shocks, the color drained from his face.

”Where is she?”

”Inside.”

”Is she awake?”

”Yes.”

He exhaled and pressed one hand over his mouth.

Roxie watched him carefully.

Karen had his nose.

She had never noticed before because she had only ever seen pictures.

Mason returned from Karen’s room while the adults were speaking. His eyes were red, and when Angela reached for him he simply sat beside her and let her take his hand.

The doctor came out again not long afterward, and for the first time Karen’s mother, father and aunt stood together while he explained the arrhythmia, the alcohol, the unknown sedative and the need for continued monitoring. Karen’s mother asked question after question while her father focused on what the tests showed, whether it could happen again and what they needed to do next.

Roxie watched from several seats away.

For the first time since she had known Karen, her family was all here because of her.

It had taken Karen nearly dying to make it happen.

Roxie hated that.

The nurse eventually allowed Karen’s mother to go in.

When she came back out around fifteen minutes later, she was crying.

She walked past everyone and stopped near the wall, pressing both hands over her face.

Karen’s father looked at her. ”What happened?”

She shook her head.

”Melissa.”

The woman lowered her hands slowly. ”She asked me why it took this for me to come.”

Nobody spoke.

Roxie looked down.

Karen’s mother started crying harder. ”I didn’t know what to say.”

Her father’s face tightened.

The aunt looked away.

Roxie felt Angela’s hand find hers again.

Karen’s father went in next.

His visit was shorter.

When he came back, the controlled expression he arrived with was gone. His eyes were red as he sat down, rubbed both hands over his face and stayed like that for several seconds.

Karen’s mother looked at him. ”What did she say?”

He didn’t answer immediately.

Then he lowered his hands.

”She asked if my other kids know she exists.”

Roxie closed her eyes.

Angela squeezed her hand so tightly it hurt.

Nobody knew what to say after that.

The nurse finally came out much later and told them Karen needed to sleep. Immediate family could remain available, but everyone else should go home and return during visiting hours.

Angela immediately looked toward Karen’s aunt.

The woman met her eyes.

For one uncomfortable moment Roxie remembered the threat from earlier, but Karen’s aunt only sighed.

”You can come back tomorrow.”

Angela’s shoulders visibly dropped. ”Both of us?”

Her aunt looked toward Roxie. ”Yes.”

Roxie nodded once.

That was enough for tonight.