The Captain's Dirty Little Secret

Chapter 395: Chapter 395 - Hard To Love

Karen’s aunt’s eyes narrowed slightly. ”Excuse me?”

”She almost fucking died and you’re standing here telling us she’s difficult. Are you really her aunt?”

”Angela,” Mason said softly.

She turned toward him. ”No.”

Mason stopped.

Angela wiped angrily at her face before looking back at Karen’s aunt. ”We just watched them shock her heart twice.”

”I understand that you’re upset.”

”Stop saying that like we’re being dramatic! Stop saying it like it’s some little thing. She nearly died.”

The aunt’s expression hardened, but she didn’t answer.

Roxie moved beside Angela. ”We called you hours ago.”

Karen’s aunt looked at her.

”We told you Karen was drinking and we couldn’t find her.”

”You said you thought she might have taken a pill. You never told me it was this bad.”

”What?” Roxie couldn’t help the bitter laugh that came out. ”Karen skipping school, possibly drinking and missing for hours wasn’t bad enough?”

Her aunt shook her head like she couldn’t believe their audacity. ”I didn’t know she was in this kind of danger.”

”That was the fucking problem!”

Zac stood immediately. ”Roxie.”

She barely heard him.

Karen’s aunt lowered her voice. ”I came here as soon as I knew she was in the hospital.”

”And we went looking before she got here,” Angela snapped. ”We went into random houses asking people if they had seen her. Roxie rode in the ambulance with her. Mason drove us everywhere. We were here when her heart went crazy and they had to shock her.”

Her voice cracked, but she kept going.

”And you’re here talking about how hard she is to deal with.”

Karen’s aunt stared at her for a moment before answering. ”You have no idea what it has been like with Karen for years.”

Roxie went still.

”With Karen?”

”Yes.”

”Like she’s something all of you have had to survive?”

”That isn’t what I said.”

”It’s what you sound like.”

”Roxie,” Zac said again.

She stepped forward anyway.

Karen could be harsh. Roxie knew that better than most people. Karen could say things that cut straight through you when she was angry, and when she felt cornered she could become almost impossible to reach. But that wasn’t all she was.

Karen was also the girl who noticed when Roxie was hungry and shoved half her food toward her without making a big deal about it. She was the one who got angry on behalf of people she loved before they even had the chance to get angry for themselves. She could be caring and protective and ridiculously soft when she thought nobody was paying attention, then immediately act irritated if anyone noticed.

Karen wasn’t difficult to love.

The thought hit Roxie harder than she expected.

Because she had wondered the same thing about herself for years.

Maybe that was why hearing Karen’s aunt say it made something inside her hurt so badly. Difficult. Hard to deal with. Always causing problems. Roxie had heard versions of those words from Claire often enough growing up that eventually she had started believing them too.

Every time Claire disappeared, every time she chose drinking or another night out over coming home, some part of Roxie had wondered whether she simply wasn’t enough to make her mother stay.

Maybe she had been hard to love too.

Roxie stared at Karen’s aunt and felt that old fear collide with everything she knew about Karen.

No.

Maybe the problem had never been that either of them was hard to love.

Maybe the people who were supposed to love them had simply stopped trying to understand them.

”She thinks everybody gets tired of her,” Roxie said, her voice lower now but shaking harder. ”She thinks everybody eventually leaves because she’s difficult. She thinks if she keeps pushing people, sooner or later they stop choosing her.”

The aunt’s expression changed slightly.

Roxie saw it.

”Babe,” Zac said quietly.

”No.” Roxie kept her eyes on the woman. ”I want to know where she fucking learned that.”

Karen’s aunt’s face hardened again. ”Karen has hurt people too.”

”She’s eighteen.”

”That doesn’t excuse everything she does.”

”I didn’t say it did. I’m saying she almost died alone in a fucking car.”

”And that was her choice.”

Roxie stared at her.

For a moment she genuinely couldn’t believe those words had come out of the woman’s mouth.

Angela made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob.

Zac caught Roxie’s arm before she could move.

”You fucking bitch.”

”Roxie.”

”Let go of me.”

”No.”

”She just blamed Karen for almost dying!”

”I heard her.”

Angela moved too, but Mason caught her around the waist before she could reach Karen’s aunt.

”You don’t get to say that!”

”Angela.”

”Let go of me!”

Karen’s aunt stepped back, irritation finally showing clearly on her face. ”I understand that you care about her.”

”Stop saying you understand!” Angela screamed. ”You don’t understand shit!”

Several people in the waiting room turned toward them, and one of the nurses at the desk looked over.

Zac noticed.

Karen’s aunt did too.

Her voice became noticeably calmer. ”I am grateful that you care about Karen. I’m grateful you found her and got her here. I understand very clearly that things might have ended differently if you hadn’t.”

Roxie glared at her, still fighting Zac’s grip.

”But if the two of you keep screaming at me and causing a scene in this hospital, you’re going to have a problem.”

Roxie laughed bitterly. ”What are you going to do?”

The aunt looked directly at her. ”Make sure neither of you visits her.”

Everything stopped.

Angela stopped fighting Mason so suddenly that he nearly stumbled.

Roxie stared at the woman. ”What?”

”Karen is unconscious. I am the family member here, and until she is awake enough to speak for herself, hospital staff are going to be dealing with me.”

Angela’s face went white. ”You wouldn’t.”

”I would if you continue behaving like this.”

”She’s our best friend.”

”I know.”

”She would want us here.”

”Then stop giving me a reason to ask security to remove you.”

The anger disappeared from Angela’s face so quickly it frightened Roxie.

Panic replaced it.

”You can’t keep us from her.”

”I can keep you from creating disturbances around a critically ill patient.”

”I’m not leaving.”

”Then calm down.”

Angela started crying again, but this time she didn’t shout. She looked toward the treatment doors, then back at Karen’s aunt with tears running freely down her face.

”What if she wakes up?”

The aunt said nothing immediately.

Angela’s voice broke. ”What if she wakes up and asks for us?”

The woman’s expression softened slightly. ”If Karen wakes and asks for you, that will be different.”

”But until then?”

”You stay calm.”

Angela pressed both hands over her face.

Roxie felt the anger rising again, but Zac stepped directly in front of her before she could say anything.

”Babe.”

She glared at him. ”Move.”

”No.”

”She’s threatening us.”

”I know.”

”She can’t fucking do that.”

”Maybe she can, maybe she can’t. This isn’t the fight.”

Roxie opened her mouth, but Zac lowered his voice before she could start again.

”Karen first.”

That stopped her.

Roxie looked past him toward the treatment doors.

Karen first.

She hated that he was right. Every part of her wanted to keep fighting, to tell Karen’s aunt exactly what she thought of her, but one more scene could mean being told to leave. Karen could wake up terrified and confused, ask for Roxie or Angela, and neither of them would be there.

Roxie swallowed everything she wanted to say.

”Fine.”

Angela dropped her hands. ”Roxie.”

”Sit down, Ange.”

”She’s going to keep us away from her.”

”She won’t if we sit down.”

Angela looked at Karen’s aunt with pure hatred before finally allowing Mason to guide her back toward the chairs.

Roxie followed because Zac kept hold of her hand.

Karen’s aunt sat several seats away from them.

Separate.

For a while nobody spoke. Angela leaned against Roxie and cried quietly, her fingers locked so tightly around Roxie’s hand that they hurt, but Roxie let her hold on. Across from them Mason stared at the floor, exhausted, while Dylan kept watching the treatment doors.

Ethan was still near the wall, quieter now, looking like he knew he had already stayed far longer than anyone expected but couldn’t quite make himself leave.

Zac sat beside Roxie.

Eventually Roxie looked toward Karen’s aunt.

She was staring at her phone.

Karen’s mother still wasn’t there.

Her father still wasn’t there.

Maybe they had been called. Maybe they were driving. Maybe they lived too far away to get there quickly. There could be a hundred explanations, and Roxie knew that.

There always seemed to be an explanation.

She looked around at the people sitting with her instead.

Angela had spent hours searching for Karen and was still crying because she might lose her. Mason had driven them from house to house and looked like he hadn’t recovered from watching Karen’s heart being shocked. Ethan had called people Roxie had never heard of because she asked him for help. Dylan came the moment Zac told him something was wrong. Zac had left everything the second Roxie finally admitted Karen was missing.

Every one of them had shown up.

Karen had a mother.

A father.

An aunt.

She had more family alive than Roxie had spent most of her life believing she had, yet somehow Karen was still the one who believed nobody would keep choosing her.

Roxie looked down at Angela’s hand wrapped around hers.

For years, Roxie had thought she and Karen were different.

Roxie had Claire, and then Claire died.

Karen still had everybody.

At least that was what Roxie had always assumed.

But sitting here now, Roxie wondered what the difference really was.

Claire had spent years leaving Roxie in smaller ways before death finally made it permanent. The nights she disappeared. The times Roxie found her passed out and had to shake her awake. The mornings Claire acted irritated because Roxie had been scared. Roxie had spent so much of her childhood wondering what was wrong with her that her own mother kept choosing something else.

Maybe Karen had grown up asking herself the same question.

Her mother had another life. Her father had another family. Her aunt gave her somewhere to stay, but even she talked about Karen like loving her had become exhausting.

Maybe both of them had spent years mistaking other people’s inability to show up for proof that they were hard to love.

Roxie tightened her fingers around Angela’s.

Karen had always said everybody eventually got tired of her.

Roxie used to think she was being dramatic.

Now she wondered if Karen had simply been telling them what her family had taught her to expect.