My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2235: Chapter 2068: Lifelong Companionship

How short is life, yet some still persist in holding onto that person they care about most in their heart.

”Since we have come to this point, I want to ask you one question. I want to hear your true feelings. From the beginning, did you truly love me? Were you genuinely willing to spend your entire life with me, without any ulterior motives? Did you endure all the hardships just for my sake? During all these years with you, have you felt that my love for you was sincere?”

”Now that we’ve reached this point, do you think asking me these questions still holds any significance? You clearly know I’ll give you an answer that brings you heartbreak and despair, yet you insist on walking into the line of fire. Aren’t you making a mess of your own life? What we both wanted wasn’t much, just to live a happy and stable life, yet this wish in your family seems to have become an unattainable luxury. In my marriage, all I ever wished for was the safety of my family, for us to live happily. But in the end, I realized it was all just a mirage!

Zhentian, deep down, you know very well why we’ve come to this point. You understand better than anyone else the struggles we’ve endured to reach the achievements we have now. But ultimately, discovering that the person by your side isn’t the one who truly loves you—if you were in my shoes, how would you feel after knowing this? Wouldn’t you feel heartache? Don’t you feel that after all you’ve given, you got nothing in return? Wouldn’t you feel disappointed?

Being with you brought me the most joy and happiness. In the years we’ve been together, every smile I wore was a genuine one, not a fake. That time was truly happy for me, even if you occasionally argued with me, I believed those were things every couple must go through. I still saw it as a form of happiness. But now I realize it was all just a wishful thought on my part. Did you ever plan to grow old with me? I don’t know if you defied your father to be with me was true or false, but I’m grateful for the love you showed me all these years because you lost your father for my sake, you’ve been unable to be by his side all these years. Isn’t your heart still in pain?

Sometimes, that’s just how I am. Knowing full well that moving forward might leave me battered and bruised, possibly with wounds that will never heal again, yet I still forge ahead regardless because I want to explore a new path in life for myself. I can’t retreat; retreating would mean admitting to being weak and incompetent. If I were such a person, why would I deserve to live in this world? Wouldn’t I just be wasting time and resources, making myself uncomfortable?

So don’t ask about right or wrong. The trust we had is gone. Without trust, we aren’t fit to live together. Since we’ve made the decision to part completely, there’s no point in trying to persuade the other to stay. It will only make things awkward, leaving each not knowing which path is right. Two paths lie before us: one a bright road, the other a painful abyss. Yet every time I end up in the painful abyss, the only time I chose right was marrying you, which was my path to the sunshine.”

”Do you still have feelings for me in your heart? If you do, why treat me this way? Do you know I struggle in pain and despair each time? Each time I wonder when I can walk out of this shadow. I think about the day I can openly step into a happy life of my own. But in the end, no matter how hard I try, it seems there’s no way, because I never had the courage to overcome the shadow in my heart.

I truly, truly, truly don’t want you to leave me. If you leave, I would be in so much pain. But if leaving me makes you happy, even if I continue to struggle in painful depths alone for a lifetime, I would feel content, because I want the woman I love most to be happy, to gain the freedom she desires. Seeing the woman I love smile from her heart after leaving me brings an achievement others can’t understand. Even if I bear the pain alone, I’ll continue to struggle in pain and despair. I’ll carve out my own path in life, a path that won’t change for anyone else. I know it was my weakness that made you passive before, but I’ve learned to be proactive and brave. Yet your heartlessness in leaving me makes me feel that all my efforts were in vain. We might need to be apart for a while to figure out what we truly want. Maybe years later, we’ll reunite. I’m waiting for that day to come. I believe it will come soon. I believe your heart still loves me, but your hatred for me overpowers your love, hiding it deep inside. I’m confident I can make you love me again and keep that love safe in my heart. I won’t let it slip away again.”

Xia Qiu still had many hesitations in his heart. Seeing the painful look on her husband’s face, she really wanted to agree to stay with him, even if it meant never finding happiness. She was willing to gamble her lifetime’s happiness for him. But she recalled the grievances she endured time and again; why should she always have to bow her head? Why should she always be the one to endure the hurt and suffering? He would never understand her dedication. Why is she so negligible in his heart? Even if she truly loved him, she had to suppress her true feelings to become strong, to stop others from hurting her again.

Life’s journey is only a few decades long. Why follow a path that one can’t bear?