My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2234: Chapter 2067: Homeward Journey

The direction of the return journey is something I shouldn’t think about anymore; I just hope some things can stay like this forever!

Zhang Zhentian and Xia Jing never quite understood why they were always afraid to face the consequences of their mistakes.

The two of them thought having lived for such a long time, they would naturally accept their mistakes, but when these mistakes beckoned to them, they found themselves overwhelmed by fear.

Although everyone experiences moments of fear, everyone also dreads others discovering their mistakes. But properly confronting one’s mistakes is what makes a brave individual, isn’t it? Yet, why can’t one bear their own mistakes? Ultimately, it’s the fear of completely losing the other person. Both hold each other in their hearts, yet they utter lies about their hearts being void of the other’s presence just to distance their feelings and train themselves not to yearn for a life that doesn’t belong to them.

”In truth, we’re both the same. It’s not about right or wrong between us. We’ve let go of unforgivable mistakes, but neither of us can face them correctly. It’s not just you; even I can’t properly face my own mistakes. How could you? No one is a Saint, everyone makes mistakes, but to courageously accept them is commendable.

I know I won’t have any opportunity to act like this in my lifetime, yet I still sincerely hope that if there’s ever a day we can be together, we shouldn’t act this way!” Xia Jing said to Zhang Zhentian.

In a shameful moment, he might feel saying this is no big deal, but in his ex-husband’s eyes, such words might offer a glimmer of hope. He believes that if he tries a little harder, his wife might return to him. But will this ever truly happen? Can a shattered relationship really mend? Can a lost marriage ever be as loving as before? No one can give her a definitive answer, not even himself when he decided on it. He feels he’s joking with himself and deceiving himself, much less anyone else.

”I don’t know how to act for you to choose to return to my side. Maybe we’ll never have unforgettable chances again in this life, but when I see you cry, my heart joins you in sorrow, even hurting more than yours. I fear your tears, because the one thing I can’t bear is my most beloved woman crying. When we were together, not a single day did I give you a happy life, nor could I provide what you wanted, which hurt you. To me, it showed a lack of basic responsibility as a man. This weakness is what led us here. I’m terrified that one day we won’t contact each other anymore, and how much pain will my heart endure then? I don’t ask for much—I just hope the one I love can spend a bit more time with me. It’s not an unreasonable request, yet I shattered my marriage, drove away the person I loved most, and single-handedly turned a potentially happy family into ruins.

Honestly, facing such an outcome, no man’s heart will be unpained. Who doesn’t want a perfect life? Who doesn’t want to be cared for by the one they love most throughout their life? I’ve received so much love from you, yet I couldn’t reciprocate even once. Perhaps that’s why heaven punishes me, ensuring I’ll never have you in this life again. I lost the person I love most through my own actions and deserted the one who loved me most. What right do I have to beg for heaven’s forgiveness? Mistakes have consequences that must be borne. No one will stand behind you forever to pay for your mistakes.

Hearts are mutual; a wounded heart can’t return to its original form. Even if everything is poured into it, in the end, one cannot regain the original state desired. The past is the past. Because I looked at this indifferently, I now know what heart-wrenching pain feels like. No one can understand this feeling, allowing me to reflect upon it. I struggle in this feeling like wandering in an abyss with no light. I’m scared, scared my most beloved will leave me, scared those who love me will disappear. I’m afraid of losing everything I once disregarded. I used to think I could love while severing emotions, but ultimately realized my heart is filled with you. No matter what, I can’t bring myself to treat you with indifference.

”Haha...

Don’t you feel that saying this now is meaningless? How you treated me before is how heaven reciprocates to you now. You once made me heartbroken, now heaven can’t bear it anymore and naturally wants justice for me. But I never expected justice would come in this way, hurting not just you, but also our father. If I had known justice was like this, I would rather endure a lifetime of grievance than heaven taking charge for me.

In many cases, you know within what you’ve done. You may not know what you should do to reciprocate, you might not know the best approach for each of us. But have you thought about it? When your career and love flourish, yet suddenly your spouse asks for a divorce and is determined to abandon you, driving you into an abyss without return. Can your heart remain calm? Could you live a life as ordinary and bland as before, craving the life you desire? Can you quietly live out your life without notice? No one can live without concern!

Now, faced with such consequences, we can’t confront each other, so don’t tell me I lack the face to face you and vice versa. If neither of us can confront it, then let’s not keep entangling. Our prolonged entanglement is the deepest wound for anyone, merely reopening scabbed wounds and sprinkling salt again and again!”

On that day, for the first time, he told himself that from now on, he would involuntarily follow a path that left him no choice!