My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1891: Chapter 1686: The Year

In the blink of an eye, it’s New Year again. Watching other families reunite in joy, only my home remains desolate and cold.

”Child, do you know? The most important thing between a husband and wife is loyalty. If there’s no loyalty, then they are not far from marriage breakdown. I once forgot what loyalty meant, didn’t know what loyalty truly was, and hurt the person who loved me the most. It’s the greatest regret of my life. Time and again, I made decisions that hurt those who loved me the most. Why couldn’t I keep the people who loved me by my side, but instead pushed them away with my own actions? My heart really aches, sometimes I feel numb, unsure of what kind of life I want, or what kind of person I wish to love, but I know I miss him so much. Even while being with your father all these years, I still miss him.

You might think I’m a fickle mother, disloyal to my husband, but you know what? He loved me so much, he gave his entire world for me. I’m not heartless, I’m not unaware. How could I want things to turn out this way?

Everything in this world is fair; whatever you do will bring a certain retribution. The cycle of cause and effect is necessary. The mistakes of the past always catch up, regardless of their size, becoming unrelenting consequences on one’s head, leaving no way to turn the tide. My only regret in life is what I did back then, hurting the one who loved me so. I lost the whole world; my world had already collapsed. Being with your father, although there was a bit of love during that time, ultimately, he wasn’t the one I loved the most.

Child, remember, no matter what difficulties or temptations you face, don’t betray the person who loves you the most.

Neither love nor marriage can withstand any betrayal. Once betrayal occurs, marriage faces ruin!

During that time, day and night, I waited for his messages. I set all his messages as top priority, waiting day after day, checking my phone night and day, hoping for a response, even if it was to scold me. But in the end, I got nothing. That was when I realized I had truly lost him, lost the entire world!

I pleaded not to be deleted, for a last bit of contact, but he heartlessly abandoned everything about me. I was utterly desperate, facing a world where I saw nothing. All I knew was that my mind had lost all drive, my heart felt completely empty, seeing my world as the darkest place, the gateway to death!”

Zhang Yichen only heard these heartfelt words from his mother. It was incredible to him, as he never imagined his parents’ love was but a façade. He didn’t know his mother had a first love early on who gave her everything. He never thought her life was so fulfilled or that it was lived this way.

Perhaps, as everyone says, only we can experience what each life segment brings. He didn’t know what outcomes awaited him, only knowing this kind of life might be unchangeable, everyone living so tired and weary.

”Mom, did you feel he was moving too fast and you couldn’t keep up, always trying to follow his pace step by step? You thought that by adjusting your angle, you could be with him forever. But you didn’t realize that by giving up all your principles, all you cared about, lying repeatedly to family just to stay with him, you still lost him. Only after losing him did you understand he was the most important person to you. You yearned to spend a lifetime with him, but fate defied plans, never accounting for the pain fate could bring. All you wanted was steady companionship by his side, but fate took away those opportunities, leaving you no recourse in life!

So, deep down, you knew even if you matched his step, he might not be yours. It’s all uncertain unless you marry him, making a lifelong commitment. Otherwise, no matter how deep your feelings, separation might still come, yet you never thought you’d fall deeper until you were fully submerged. All you wished was to see him more, to feel joy at his smile, paining more than anyone if he hurt.

But you ultimately lost him, a fate already destined. You can never forget him, for he’s etched in your mind, the joy he brought, his love, his sacrifices all imprinted on your heart. Unless you change your heart or until your burial, you can’t forget it all, though I guess you wouldn’t want to forget, right?”

”You’re right. I won’t forget in this lifetime; I’ll keep all the love he gave engraved in my heart, no changing it. When I rest in peace, I’ll hold it dear because he’s the only one I ever loved. Perhaps my love was too overwhelming, turning everything into chaos, yet who knows, the paths once walked are eternally etched in my mind, unforgettable.

I walked alone down every road we traveled together, everywhere filled with his shadow, indelible, making my heart ache. This pain is unforgivable, and I’d rather live in agony than forget him!”

How is it easy to forget someone? It’s said human memories are transient, but who knows longing can erode one’s heart.