My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1861: Chapter 1655: Fear of Gain and Loss

Do you really know everything I gave up for you?

Everything about you was like a dream, awakened by a gust of cold wind.

”I don’t understand why you think I would believe every word you say, and I don’t understand why you’re so confident in coming to me with these words.

If I were you, I would choose to never say some things for the best outcome for both of us. Some things clearly shouldn’t be said, yet you choose to say them to me here. Isn’t your heart set on making me feel uncomfortable? If you truly don’t wish for my well-being, why bother to come and disturb me intentionally?”

”Chen Gang, once some decisions are made, there is no turning back. Since you chose this path yourself, then no one should blame anyone else. Once you make a decision on something, you can only kneel and walk this path to the end.

Sometimes I have to say that the thoughts in my heart and reality are completely different. Do you know that the moment you appeared before me, I knew you had occupied my heart? I understood that my heart would never accommodate anyone else in this lifetime, but I didn’t expect that my care for you would ultimately be met with your deception. I didn’t expect that despite how much I cared about you, you would deceive me and never trust me. I used to think that as long as I desired something, nothing was beyond my reach, and that you would quietly support me. But later I realized it was all just my fantasy!

If you truly feel that you care for me in your heart, then please make the most politically correct decision. Some things left unsaid are to give each other some face. Once things are clearly stated, it only makes both parties passive and everyone looks bad. Many matters could have ended differently, but because of the path we took, the relationship between us has completely crumbled.”

Just a moment ago, he never expected to hear such words from the woman he loves. At this moment, he realized that no matter how wealthy he was or how great his achievements were, in the eyes of his beloved, he was nothing but a worthless clown. She had thought that as long as she accomplished everything with enough grandeur, she would surely win his love.

But later she found out that no matter how well she did, no matter what lengths she went to, in the eyes of the man she loved, it was never what he wanted. What he truly desired wasn’t much, just to have what he wanted peacefully. But why did it become so difficult in the end? Did she really see him as nothing more than a buffoon no matter what he did?

”Zhihan, I don’t care what you truly think inside, but I hope you can understand that once something happens, it cannot be changed. I don’t care how you truly see me, maybe you think I’m just a clown, resorting to any means to achieve my goals, but all of it was just for you. I said so many wrong things just to distract your husband, because only then would I have a chance to bring you back to my side and let you stay with me forever, never leaving.

I thought that as long as I worked hard enough, as long as I was willing to give everything for you, I would eventually gain your understanding. But in the end, I realized you never saw me that way. I don’t understand how your heart views me. Maybe you’ve already treated me as a stranger. Was every word you said a lie? Did you really see me as part of your family?”

”From start to finish, I have never seen you as family. A friend is a friend, and they can never be something else.

I don’t care what your intention was behind those words just now, but I must tell you the harsh reality clearly: from the beginning, in my heart, you were just my classmate, just my good friend. I’ve never treated you as family because you’re not among those I consider family.

Even though I know saying such words is indeed hurtful and can force some to bow their heads, I have no choice. To stop you from continuing to misunderstand, I had to speak out. I can’t trust you a hundred percent in everything anymore, because your trust is built on using me. So how could I genuinely entrust my inner world to you, allowing you to use me time and again against the one I love most?”

At that moment, Chen Gang was both crying and laughing. He never imagined that the woman he was determined to have never considered him family, never regarded him at all. He only wanted to be with the woman he loved. Why did it all turn out this way? It was all beyond what he imagined.

”Do you not feel any guilt at all for saying such things that hurt my heart? I worked so hard to love you for so many years, gave so much for you, yet in the end, you hurt my genuine feelings like this. In your eyes, is my true heart really so insignificant? All I wanted was your smile, yet you always saw me as someone trying to use you. You will never understand how painful it is to love someone. This pain cannot be explained in just a few words. You’ve never experienced the pain I’ve endured because your heart never had room for me!”

”Chen Gang, I’m sorry. I know this truth brings a heavy blow to you, making you think I’m someone who doesn’t love you, but do you know? If I pretended to love you and played along with you, in the end, when the truth is revealed, you’d be the one more deeply hurt, not me. I can’t be so heartless. I can’t pretend to say I love you just to achieve my own goals. I’m not that kind of heartless person!

But I also won’t be like others, unable to find a way to refuse you in everything, making it hard for you to accept the blow to your heart. Today, I chose to tell you in this manner just to help you understand that we really aren’t meant for each other. Don’t hold onto thoughts you shouldn’t have. Stop harboring ideas that shouldn’t exist. This time, consider it my slip of the tongue. I won’t trust you anymore. From now on, we will have nothing to do with each other. You can spread your wings and fly without being hung up on me.”

Sometimes I clearly understand that even having you in my arms can’t change your heart.