My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1851: Chapter 1645: Before Dawn

Are we really never going to see each other again? But I have always been reminiscing about the times we were together, not just in dreams, I know reality is too harsh.

Zhang Zhentian and Xia Jing will never understand why they are always afraid to face the consequences of their mistakes.

The two of them thought that having lived for so many years, they would naturally accept the mistakes they’ve made. But when these mistakes beckoned to them, they were all terrified.

Everyone has moments of fear, everyone is afraid that others will find out about their mistakes, but facing your mistakes correctly, that’s what a brave person should do, isn’t it? But why, despite having made mistakes, do you not dare to take responsibility? Ultimately, it’s the fear of completely losing someone. Obviously, they both have each other in their hearts, yet they have to verbally deny each other’s presence to distance their feelings, to train themselves not to miss a life that doesn’t belong to them?

”Actually, we are both alike, nobody is right or wrong. We put down unforgivable mistakes, and none of us can correctly face our own mistakes. It’s not just you, even I am like this. I can’t correctly face my own mistakes. How can you? No one is a Saint. No one doesn’t make mistakes, but once a mistake is made, it is commendable to bravely take responsibility for it.

I know I’ll never get a chance to make such actions in this lifetime, but I sincerely hope that if we ever get back together, we definitely shouldn’t be like this!” Xia Jing said to Zhang Zhentian.

Maybe in his own eyes, he feels saying these words isn’t a big deal, but in his ex-husband’s eyes, these words are a glimmer of hope. He thinks if he tries a bit more, maybe his wife will come back to him. But will the end result really be like this? Can a broken relationship be mended again? Can a lost marriage still be loving like before? Actually, no one can give her a definite answer, even when he made this decision, he felt he was joking with himself, deceiving himself, let alone others?

”I don’t know what I should do for you to choose to come back to me. Maybe in this lifetime, there won’t be any unforgettable opportunities again, but when I see you cry, my heart still aches for you; indeed, my heart hurts more than yours. I’m afraid to see you cry because I can’t stand the woman I love most shedding tears. When we were together, I never gave you a day of happiness. I couldn’t even give you what you wanted. For you, it’s a kind of harm. For me, it shows that as a man, I lack even basic responsibility, which is a man’s weakness. It is precisely this weakness that has turned us into what we are now. I’m really afraid, afraid that one day we would really lose contact with each other, and by then, how painful will my heart be? What I want is really not much, not much at all. I only hope that the person I love can accompany me a bit more. This plea isn’t excessive, right? But ultimately, it was I who shattered my marriage with my own hands, drove away the person I love most, and turned the family where I could have been happy into such a broken state.

To be honest, facing such a conclusion, no man’s heart can be at ease. Who doesn’t want a perfect life? Who doesn’t want their whole life to receive the affection of the person they love most? But I’ve received so much of your love in this lifetime, and yet I couldn’t give you any in return. Maybe it is because of this that Heaven punishes me, making sure I’ll never get you again in this lifetime, because I have lost the person I love most, the person who loves me most has abandoned me, so what right do I have to beg Heaven for forgiveness? The mistakes one makes must always be borne by oneself. No one will stand behind you forever to bear the consequences of your mistakes without regret?

Hearts are mutual; once hurt, there’s no way to restore them to their original state. Even if you give everything, you’ll ultimately not get the original façade you desire. What’s past is past. Because I view all of this with calm indifference, I now understand what heartbreak-feeling really means. No one can truly experience that feeling, let alone allow me peace. In that feeling, I desperately struggle like reaching blind hands into an abyss of pain. I am afraid, afraid of losing the one I love the most, afraid of losing those who once loved me. I fear losing everything I once disregarded. I once thought I could live detached from love, but then realized my heart had long been filled by you. No matter what, I can no longer treat you as emotionlessly as I did before.”

”Ha ha...

Don’t you feel saying these words now is meaningless? How you once treated me, Heaven now repays in kind. You once made me sad and cry, agonizing, now Heaven can’t bear to look anymore, naturally seeking justice for me. I didn’t expect such a way to seek justice, which not only hurt you but also hurt our fathers. If I’d known this was how justice would be sought, I’d rather have been wronged all my life than have Heaven do justice for me.

Actually, many times you know deep down what you should do for others, what actions you should take to repay them, yet you don’t know what is best for both parties. But have you ever thought about it? Obviously, when you have achieved both career and love success, your partner suddenly asks for a divorce, ruthlessly abandoning you, throwing you into a pit of despair, can your heart still be stable? Can your heart still live in calm indifference, leading the life you want? Can you still lead your quiet, unnoticed life like that? Who could live without a care!

Now facing such results, we are both unable to face anyone. Let’s not continue this anymore. Bitterly entangling will be the deepest wound for both, just repeatedly tearing open scars and salting them again.”

You don’t know how many sleepless nights I’ve endured; I reminisce over the past, yet only one photo remains. How can I turn the page on this relationship...