My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1741: Chapter 1535: Good and Evil

There is inherently no distinction between good and bad; it is only up to us to decide.

Life is like this, forcing us to lose what we cherish most time and again, only to realize in the end how much we cared about it all along. When we had them, no one ever considered what the outcome would be. Why is every person always so selfish, ignoring the comfort others offer just to pursue their own ideas?

In one’s lifetime, we inevitably encounter significant matters. However, in this life, we end up only with these pains. Some people give everything they have over and over, but no one truly knows how they have spent their lives.

Who has pondered how they’re living their life journey? We struggle through pain time and again in this lifetime. Who has thought about how we should endure it all? After each devastating blow, who knows the new suffering we feel? During the day, we numb ourselves with work, but what can we use to unravel our numbing thoughts when night arrives? Our yearnings deepen day by day, becoming nothing more than a walking corpse, no longer knowing what to gain. No one knows what fate awaits them in this lifetime.

Perhaps life is like this; after enduring countless hardships, we will eventually experience separation from loved ones. But do we truly know how we’ve ended up living this life? Life immerses us in pain over and over again, and time and again, we collect so many wounds. Who knows what harm we will really receive? Everyone’s life is like this, but in the end, we still become trapped in the pit of agony created by our own deeds. No one can truly understand what kind of life would satisfy us.

Many people’s hearts are inherently greedy. Some, for their own personal gain, can harm their closest and most beloved ones unscrupulously. However, others are willing to give everything repeatedly for the happiness and joy of the ones they love most.

Zhang Zhentian really didn’t know how to persuade his wife. He knew she had truly fallen into the abyss of pain and could not extricate herself. No one could save her. Night after night, he was startled awake by nightmares. She turned her life into such a decision again and again. He hurt himself repeatedly, just to wait for the person he longed for in his heart to turn and look at him, to stay by her side, even if for just one day. Are hearts truly this fragile? Why do they always fail to withstand the passage of time? Time changes everything, making it all seem trivial and vulnerable.

Xia Jing also understood what was on Zhang Zhentian’s mind. After all, as a couple sharing the same bed for so many years, how could they not have any shared thoughts? If they lacked even basic understanding, what was the point of being together for so many years? Even if not living together for love, in the end, there is always some mutual understanding after so many years of marriage. The ones who understand you best are often not your friends, but your enemies. You might not understand yourself, but do you know how much those around you understand you? They dedicate much of their lives to understanding you, just to topple you completely one day. But you don’t realize that their understanding might end up helping you. Empathies never equate to reciprocation. Only after being hurt and tormented time and again do we realize that everything was all for nothing.

”Xia Jing, maybe you can’t hear what I’m saying now, but I want you to know that no matter what, as your husband, I will never hurt you.

Haven’t you felt my genuine love over the years? Haven’t you felt anything at all for everything I’ve done for you?”

”The greatest pain in this world is watching the one you love most leave you, one by one, month after month, as you stand there helpless. No one can understand the pain in my heart all these years, truly comprehend and feel it. Everyone thinks I’m selfish, only caring about my thoughts and feelings, oblivious of everyone’s opinions about me. But do you know? Every time you face me, do you know how painful it is for me inside? Every time you accuse me, how unfair it feels. I also want to live happily, but I can’t do anything!

Over the years, I have given so much. But what about myself? I ended up getting nothing in return. I gave it all, and what I got in return was his indifference. Do you know how speechless that makes me feel? So tired, so exhausted. Sometimes I wish I could close my eyes and never wake up again. Sometimes I wish to enter a perpetual sleep, rendering my life unable to live happily ever again. I just want to sleep forever and never wake up, but time and again, as I open my eyes, I find myself in my deep, invisible abyss. Do you know that darkness? Do you know that emptiness? No one knows!”

”You always feel that your pain is the greatest in the world, that no one else can understand what you’re going through. But do you know you’re not the only one who has endured such pain? Isn’t everyone going through the same thing, haven’t they made themselves skilled through repeated suffering? Although all this leaves us battered in the end and devoid of joy in this life, do you know how much I care, how much I want you to stay by my side, just like you want your dearest one to stay by your side? I’m just like you, enduring the silent loneliness and emptiness of deep nights, that crushing sense of defeat, causing my inner self to collapse over and over again...”

The road of life is always under one’s own control...