My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1723: Chapter 1517: Speaking Up

”Dad, I’ve said it many times. I know there are friends in the depths of your heart that might not exist. I also understand that the hurt you’ve experienced will never be forgotten.

If you have really thought about it, could it be the consequences of what we have done? Because I know what this is all about, who could possibly understand my sincere intentions?

Perhaps you’ll never truly understand in the depths of your heart, so I might as well learn how to be the kind of person who can bear all of this. I will never forget why I became who I am today. Achieving where I am now indeed took a lot of effort and brought me much unhappiness, but I never gave up, because I know I need to rely on my own efforts to reach the peak of life. I can’t declare war on others when I am at my weakest, thinking that all my past efforts were wrong. I hope you could consider things from my perspective.

You are my father, and just like you said about me, if I’m always striving for my achievements at the cost of everyone around me, no one will be happy. Can you truly be happy or content? Have you never considered the choices you’ve made in your life, that it doesn’t just look like this today?

I am indeed scared and hesitant. I don’t know what I’m doing all of this for, and I’m even more unsure of the meaning behind doing a bit more. I watch helplessly as those I love the most get hurt time and time again. Do you know what that failure feels like?

To be honest, you have never considered things from my point of view. You can’t understand how difficult it is for me to exist in this world. In your eyes, everything you do is right. But have you ever thought about how hard it is for the people around you to live? What have you seen? I don’t understand what is important enough for us all to focus on in your eyes. You’ve changed everything, and I don’t understand what should be done in your eyes to prevent this from going back to the way it was.

You are my father, and no matter what decision you make, I must forgive you. Wherever and whenever, I must consider things from your point of view. I can’t live carefreely like before, because even if I feel joy and happiness from that, it would be painful for you. I can’t let you feel pain, but the moment I chose to give up my dreams for your sake repeatedly, I already knew what my life’s outcome would be. I don’t regret any of my decisions, but I also hope you could support all my efforts and believe in the rightness of every choice I make. Please don’t always try to stop me from living the life I truly want, okay?”

”Child, how have you not understood by now that these things can’t be resolved simply by my forgiving you? If family members have ever hurt you, do you really think they would willingly leap over several moons for it? They aren’t Saints and can’t live without worry. After being hurt by you once, do they still have to forgive? Originally, they may have told you it’s okay, you can hurt them at will. They aren’t anything, and even a Saint can’t be so broad-minded to forgive again and again.

Maybe you haven’t figured out what you truly want most until now. In your heart, none of this really matters; you care about yourself, your age, and you’ve never thought about what kind of life you truly want. At this point, I don’t understand what this is all for, the purpose behind your sacrifice. I don’t believe you have a heart of stone; I hope you can prove through your actions that you aren’t deliberately hurting everyone, that your actions weren’t intentional. Please take actions to make up for those inadvertent hurts you’ve caused and show that you realize where you went wrong.

In my life, I absolutely won’t take anyone’s word for granted again. Each time I recognize you, you choose to hurt me again. In the end, I gain nothing, and in your eyes, perhaps a father is just someone to be casually hurt. If you want, you can have him. If you don’t want, you can throw him away easily. Have you thought about how difficult my life is? How hard it is to be alive today?

Perhaps you never considered this, because in your world, nothing can be given up rashly except for financial freedom. Yet, there are things you can never abandon, because you won’t see your family again. Money can make you silent, can make you change all your personal ideals and state. Perhaps money truly has such charm, but it can’t change my feelings for you deep within. I hope everyone has their own thoughts and takes their own journey, not using such ways to hurt people. May everyone live the life they want with joy. Isn’t our greatest happiness ensuring everyone’s happiness at home?

I also know you truly wish I could forgive you today, but I really can’t. If time really proves so, if you truly realize your mistakes and change in the future, if every word you say can be taken as truth and if you fulfil every promise you make, that will be the moment I forgive you. Please always remember what I said today, never change this. I must see your real actions before I forgive you, watching how you change yourself and transform the situation from your imagination.

Child, don’t say your father is heartless. It’s not that your father wants you to live such a life, it’s just that I can’t bear seeing my child repeatedly making the same mistakes in front of me, while I, as a father, can only stand by and watch, powerless to help. Do you know how much failure I feel as a father?”

When everything finally returns to the beginning, you will then realize how ridiculous your past actions were, thinking that the one dearest to you will stay by your side for life, only to find out later that they too can leave.”