My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1738: Chapter 1532: Reflections

In the future, with so much sadness and desolation, only you will experience it, and I will no longer be there to share it with you.

Old Master Zhang didn’t realize how much psychological pressure his actions had brought to his son. His son never felt this kind of pressure, only wishing to live his own life peacefully, without interference from anyone, but it was simply impossible.

As a father, what he constantly thought about deep down was how to make his child happy, to live the life everyone desires, rather than going through hardships repeatedly and ending up with nothing. He couldn’t accept such a fate, yet this fate seemed destined to be his life’s conclusion. Time and again, he couldn’t escape it or erase it, only allowing fate to dictate it repeatedly. He manipulated everything in his life, only to find in the end that it was all fleeting.

No matter how much effort he put in, everything was ultimately lost. The things he wanted were never realized. He walked his path step by step, a path everyone disapproved of, yet he never considered giving up. He believed that as long as he could happily live the life he wanted, he would live this life without regrets, willingly bearing all the pain.

”Have all my demands as a father been excessive for you? Or have my actions made you so unwilling to follow the path I set for you, not even one small step? Deep down, what do I mean to you? Again and again, I’ve instilled my life’s principles into your hearts. I want you to know, no matter what you do or what consequences you face, we will always stand by you; we will never abandon you in this lifetime.

I am also a living person, and I have made many mistakes; not everyone will forgive me, but I have no regrets. Those mistakes left me with no choice in this life, yet I would still make the same decisions if time rolled back. That decision gave me a unique life, leading me step by step into a new era.

Child, as a father, he would never harm his child, even if his child inflicted great pain on him. Deep down, he still sees his child as the most precious person. Why can’t you understand this truth? You once hurt me, reduced me to that state. Yet I never blamed you because I knew every decision I made should prove my actions correct. I couldn’t let you suffer alongside me, even if you ventured far and wide. I still gave you freedom. I once said, I wouldn’t let you come back home; once you stepped out of this house, you were no longer my son. But when you returned, I painfully denied you entry. Do you know how much pain I felt deep down at that moment?

You know I am a sharp-tongued but soft-hearted person. I speak harshly, but I feel pain when implementing them. No one truly understands my deep-seated pain. Once again, you all placed your hopes on me, and I alone bore all the guilt. I don’t blame any of you. Who is to say this outcome wasn’t my chosen path?”

”Zhentian, Dad is not wrong. Over these years, no one understands your deepest thoughts better than you do. But I still hope you think it through. Whether right or wrong, no matter who is at fault, we should face it with a positive attitude. We shouldn’t impose all the pain on others. Dad is innocent, our son is innocent, and all relatives are innocent. But we brought them pain and didn’t face any corresponding punishment. Time changes everything, and reality is always harsh. We need to repeatedly adapt to it, see it as a beautiful thing, and only then will we tread a different life path.

I have lived in pain and hatred for too many years, and I don’t want my remaining years to continue suffering. For me, it’s not only a mental torment but a physical one, and I can’t bear it. When I close my eyes, I see blood-covered people lying before me, victims of my own hands. Do you know how scared I am when they come for revenge? I hide alone, trembling in the covers, too scared to tell you because I fear you would think this was all self-inflicted, deserved for my many sins.

I struggled alone for so long, treating everything as the most important part of my life, only seeking happiness and joy, never thinking I’d be hurt again and again. Do you understand the excitement I felt each time I treaded life’s path, treating everything as family?

Throughout these years, we’ve depended on each other, never thinking we’d part someday. But for everyone, separation isn’t always a bad thing. We should independently face challenges we’ve never encountered. If we remained together, would we ever face such challenges? I don’t want this outcome for us and hope you understand my painstaking efforts, not making it difficult for Dad, not disappointing our son. They’ve never said they want us away, all my wishful thinking. Yet, why do you insist on following my mistaken decisions, hurting those we love the most? How heartbroken they must feel deep inside due to our actions!

There is no longer a direction. I wish I could forget that sadness, forget those desires, forget all the promises I once made.