My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1497: Chapter 1291: Spring Breeze, Fading as Before

Well, the feelings between others do not necessarily mean separation. Those beautiful years have long been blown away by the wind and rain. Even Qingyi Mountain has brought out the feelings between us, but we are just friends, nothing more.

Xia Jing seems to have already made up his mind to leave. Here, he is explaining everything to everyone. He feels that he should make things clear to prevent his family from getting hurt, to ensure each family member can live happily, and some issues must be faced sooner or later.

”My dearest son, I’m sorry because my presence has once again brought pressure to your life. I’m truly sorry. For those years, I longed so much to return to this home, to be by my son’s side. To me, nothing is happier than living with my son. But in the end, I’ve found out that all my actions and thoughts were too selfish. I never considered whether you needed such a life. Over the years, I haven’t given you any motherly love, not even a day’s companionship. You, it’s due to my incompetence as a mother that I hurt you again and again. Whether you resent me or hate me, I have no regrets.

But I hope you can take good care of your grandfather and your father. All the disputes happened because of me. It’s because of my existence that they’ve become like this. I hope you can consider whether your father and grandfather did anything wrong. Whatever they did was for this family, for loving you. Everything they did was for the good of this family, whereas I ignored all the interests of the family. I disregarded the family’s benefits and treated everyone at home as tools for my use. I never considered your feelings, whether you hate me or not. I don’t care about that. What I care about is whether you can be happy and peaceful, joyfully continuing your lives. Nothing is more important to me than this. As long as you are happy, I will willingly leave and never return.

You know, these years, I’ve done many bad things. Step by step, I have reached today, and all of it is a predetermined end. No matter what, I will never deserve anyone’s forgiveness. Every single thing I did was heinous, but I don’t regret it because I followed my heart in everything I did. The most regrettable thing in my life is leaving you. Leaving you is a pain that I can never erase. For years, I’ve longed for my child, hoped to return home, yearned for every relative at home, but once I took that first step, there was no turning back. Do you know how desperate I was? I was afraid, afraid that the family held prejudice against me, afraid that everyone at home would not let me stay with you. I was afraid that my actions would hurt you again and again, but ultimately, I still did things that hurt you.”

”I don’t understand why you are telling me these things. It’s something you should do. If you feel you owe me, then you should stay and accompany me, return all the love you owe me over those years. Once, deep in my heart, I longed for my parents’ love, but I never received it. Do you know how hard and difficult my life was? I never thought about what kind of ending I would get. I just wanted you to be happy.

To say I don’t hate you is impossible. I’ve blamed you because I knew your actions hurt me. I couldn’t view everything as completely indifferent. I hoped my life could be more brilliant, but what did I get in the end? I climbed up again and again, reached the pinnacle of life, stepping over everyone, making everyone bow down to me. In that moment, I felt proud, but deep inside my heart, I was in pain because my parents didn’t witness that moment. I reached this point all because of you, but you’ve always been so far away, never seeing what that day was like!

When I acquired other companies and heard their CEOs begging me to show mercy, to give them a way out, do you know how cold I felt? I destroyed them without care, driving them out of the company, forcing them to fend for themselves. I felt I was mimicking you because that’s how you treated me. You created this mindset. You hurt me, and because of the hurt you caused me, I hurt thousands of employees. Do you know how desperate those people were at that moment? They might have had responsibilities both above and below them, holding the family’s livelihood on that salary alone, yet I heartlessly drove them away.

Don’t you feel that I’m truly terrifying now? Why did I do this? Have you ever thought about why your son became like this? You wished for your son to be happy, but is your son happy now? Your son is not happy. Instead, I’m feeling very painful and miserable, and all of it was caused by my own hands. I can only endure my own pain.

I can understand that kind of revenge, the thrill on others’ misfortune, how proud and happy it is. When I passed all my pain onto others and when everyone was begging me, do you know how happy I was? I was so happy I laughed out loud. I could not conceal my inner excitement. When I saw them begging me, I felt that in this life, I was the most successful person. I could dominate one side of the city and the world. But in the end, I realized no matter if I gained the world, I could never recover my missing childhood or the parental love I lacked in my childhood.

Everyone thinks they are pitiful, but they were happier as kids than I was, at least having their parents by their side. I was all alone. I didn’t know what it felt like to grow up with parents. I only knew revenge and annexation were my only paths. Only by swallowing up others’ companies could I make my own company strong. This world is about survival of the fittest, the weak being eliminated. With no ability, they could only be expelled by me step by step!”

On the day when I can truly let go, it will be when there is no more relationship between you and me. I hope there’s still a chance for us to meet after all these years. I have never given up on finding you, but you have long lost all traces.