My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1475: Chapter 1269: What If Not

I used to think many times, if it wasn’t for that mirror, if it wasn’t for hiding secrets like you, I would refuse to believe that everything I went through was so cruel. Without you, my smile would be more beautiful. That day when I heard your slightly apologetic concern on the phone, did you know? I realized all this was more thorough than you saying goodbye.

I know the clothes were clean and drying in the sun back then, but the wounded heart, no matter how much it forced a smile, could no longer hide the pain within.

”Dad, I’ve made it very clear. I have no other requests coming back to this family. I just hope to live happily and joyfully. Why can’t you even fulfill this small wish of mine? I really have no other intentions now. All I want is to live happily and joyfully; that’s enough. Why can’t you try to think of me and consider how miserable and painful my life is from my perspective? All I want is a stable life. Since you agreed to let me return to this home, why are you saying these things to me now? Your words are placing me in what position?

Do you not know pain and suffering deep in your heart? Don’t I know it too? You are human, and so am I. If you’re not a god, then neither am I. Why have you never tried to see all these years how I lived outside from my perspective? I know you’ve been silently watching my every move, but you never asked me to come back home. You were afraid that I’d hurt you once again if I came back. But now that I’m home, I still hurt you, so deep down, you think I shouldn’t have come back, and you push all the blame onto me.

Is this family’s current situation really caused by my return? If it’s because of my return, I can leave this family. I won’t believe that all will become perfect again just like before once I leave. I will never believe that this is the consequence of my doing. I hope you won’t push all the responsibility onto me; that’s simply not a way to solve problems. When you repeatedly put all the responsibility on me, do you think I truly feel nothing inside? I really cannot do it because I’m not a saint. What I want is very simple: as long as everyone can happily live together, nothing else matters to me. But why are you not willing to think about how difficult my life is from my perspective?”

Old Master Zhang was so furious with his son that he was speechless. What did it mean that he didn’t consider his son’s feelings, or didn’t consider the difficulties in his life? Did it mean that he had lived easily all these years? Time and time again, he missed him, sent people to protect him, and tracked his footsteps, but over the years, what has he gotten in return? Only repeated harm. Not to mention the recent issues that have already brought a lot of harm and pain, he never asked for anything more. Was it really because his demands were too harsh?

”Do you think you’re overthinking? Have I said anything about you since you returned home? Have I caused you trouble? Ask yourself how much you’ve brought to the family these days. The family has felt heartache, disappointment, yet has anyone blamed you? We kept trusting and accepting you time and time again because we know it’s not easy for anyone living in this world; there are many pressures to bear. We understand and empathize. But why can’t you empathize with our efforts? Now your daughter-in-law is in such a state; you haven’t shown any care. Instead, you’re here arguing with me about right and wrong. Are these rights and wrongs really that important? Is the health and well-being of your family not important? What do you consider a major issue?

Sometimes, I really want to ask myself, if I were to die right here, would you not shed a single tear? I’m truly afraid. If I die here without a single tear, then what have I raised you all these years for? The son I raised with so much effort turned out to be ungrateful. How am I supposed to accept this unfairness deep in my heart?

You should know how much I’ve devoted over the years, and I understand how much you’ve contributed. Everyone gives; everyone receives in return, but how much reward is there, no one can measure. Each of us walks different paths and ends with different results. You know better than anyone what kind of principle this is. But why are you treating me like this? What benefit does it bring you? Why can’t you consider how painful and miserable I feel deep down inside?”

”My biological father, are you really my biological father? I never thought you would say such heartless and ruthless words to me. You’ve placed all the disgrace onto me. In your eyes, my life is your disgrace, your shame. Have you thought about whom to blame for me reaching this point today? When I shamelessly wanted to return home, begged you, and reached the doorstep, who heartlessly rejected me outside? You only think of my mistakes but not the pain you have caused me. I’ve made mistakes again and again; don’t they truly have any relation to you?

You are my father, I know. This fact has always been in my heart, and I never thought of trying to change it because you are my father, which makes me proud. But just because it makes me proud doesn’t mean I can accept all the pain without any boundaries. You have never cared about how I feel inside as your son. How do you know I didn’t check on my daughter-in-law? I also hope she can be healthy and safe, but some things I simply cannot intervene in. I’m not a doctor; I cannot save lives. I can only pray repeatedly for her well-being. Is this not enough? What more do you want from me? Do you want me to leave this family, or should I check myself into a hospital and suffer from depression?

I know saying these things to you today might make you unhappy and feel unfair, but now that you’ve forced me into this corner, I have nowhere to go. I can only fight to the death. I refuse to believe there is no justice. I refuse to believe all the mistakes, clearly unrelated to me, should be shoved onto me!”

Perhaps this city is truly crowded, and that’s why we met each other. But perhaps we still couldn’t embrace each other after meeting and are destined to part ways after being together for a while.